


The 300

by Bucklethorpe



Series: The 300 [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Brief mentions of Aden/Charlotte. I'm calling it Lottsa Night Blood, F/F, Fluff, Fruit Cups, Humor, Nyko appears twice i think, Octacoln spelled backwards is..., Rosie from the Jetsons, Should have put a dog in this, That's so Reyes, Titus: The Man; The Legend. He's a douche here too, Trees, Uncle Gustus lives on, dog's name would have been Rigby Eleanor Ruffavelt, heavy duty Orange Magic hand cleaner, no dogs, there's a chapter set almost entirely in a moving vehicle if you're into that sort of thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-05-25 15:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 66,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6201580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bucklethorpe/pseuds/Bucklethorpe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke just managed to burn 300 of Lexa's finest spruces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clouds on Fight Night

“Why the hell do you keep playing that song?” Raven practically screamed at top of her lungs as Bellamy plowed over the grassy trails of the Christmas tree farm he was currently trying to navigate.  

Clarke winced, not only at the decibel level of her best friend who was seated in the bucket seat just to her right, but also at the rough-riding jeep that Bellamy seemed to be jumping over small mountains.  She checked her phone for the time.  11:38 on a Friday night.  She rubbed at her eyes as she fought a yawn.  It had been nearly forty hours since that quick nap she got a couple of days ago.

“We’re driving through Christmas trees,” Bellamy finally answered after making a sharp left. His deep voice brought Clarke out of the haze she had fallen in. “And it’s classic Carol of the Bells.  Why would I play anything else?”

“Makes sense,” Octavia nodded her head.  Clarke glanced at her other best friend while she was thumping the numbers of her cell phone and lifting it just out the passenger side window.

“Only to Blakes,” Raven whispered to Clarke.

“I guess so,” Clarke agreed.  She leaned forward and looked out past Raven at the rows of trees that seemed to go on forever. “It’s pretty out here, though.”

Murphy let out an almost offended sounding guffaw from her left.

“What, Murphy?” she asked him.

“Nothing,” he answered as he licked the leftover chocolate off a foil wrapper. “I didn’t say shit.”

Raven craned her neck around Clarke to give him a once over, “Did you bring space cakes out here?”

“Nope,” Murphy giggled and then made an exaggerated show of eating the last tiny bit of brownie crumb. “Definitely not.”

“Fucking idiot,” Raven sighed and slammed back down into her seat. “This was fucking stupid.”

“Lincoln! Lincoln, can you hear me?” Octavia shouted at the phone while hanging her head out of the window.  “Hello?”

“Oh my god.” Raven rolled her eyes. “One of those tree branches is going to knock you out if you crawl out any further.”

“Okay, reception in the forest sucks,” Octavia complained and sunk back into the jeep. “Aren’t trees supposed to give off good signals?”

“Um, oxygen,” Raven said. She kicked the back of the seat for good measure. “Basic biology. Trees give off oxygen.  To breathe.  And live.”

“And decorate,” Murphy added. “It’s Christmasy.”

“And this is hardly a forest, O,” Raven continued.  “Have you ever been in a forest?”

“I know a guy named Forrest,” Octavia offered weakly.

Clarke closed her eyes tightly and ran through the list of things she had to do at home.  Her homework was piling up as the end of the school year was rolling ever so near.  She had to complete the paperwork for White House internship that she definitely had no chance at getting. There was a monthly dinner with her mother that was way overdue and she just knew that a lecture was coming. She needed to clean her apartment before the ‘Mom dinner’ to avoid  _ that _ lecture, as well.  And, most importantly, she needed to sleep.  She needed to sleep for at least two days. Maybe three. She’d spent the last two nights finishing a paper on foreign policy and all day today trying to keep her eyes open through class. She was practically daydreaming about sleeping at this point.

“Stop,” she heard Raven say after a nudge to her ribs.

“Stop, what?”

“Making lists in your head while you’re supposed to be having fun.”

“Technically, I’m not sure the fun has started yet.”

Raven tapped on the cooler that was placed behind their seats, “but it’s slated to begin soon, my friend.”

“Okay, seriously,” Octavia finally gave up with her call and manually rolled up the window. “Why the hell are we out here again?”

“It’s Monty,” Bellamy said. “C’mon.”

It had really seemed like the perfect place when Lincoln had suggested it a couple of weeks ago. Monty would never, ever, guess that they’d throw his 21st birthday party on the backlot of a Christmas tree farm in TinyAssVille, Maryland at midnight. And Bellamy was right.  It’s  _ Monty _ . He’s literally everybody’s third favorite person in the world.   _ Monty _ .  He’s the guy that nobody would pick first at kickball, but everybody would have in their list of three people to be stranded on a deserted island with.

“Wait,” Clarke suddenly had a thought, “somebody did think to invite Monty, didn’t they?”

“Uh...” Raven tapped her chin. “I did not, soo...”

“I barely know the guy,” Murphy said as he rested his forehead against the window.

“You’ve known the guy since high school, John,” Clarke thumped him on the head. “You’re such an asshole.”

“There’s Lincoln!” Octavia shouted suddenly as headlights came into view up ahead.  “This is the spot.”

“Finally,” Raven seethed. “My ass hurts.”

“Monty, people,” Clarke reminded them. “Somebody invited him to his birthday party, right?”

“Yes,” Bellamy answered as he pressed on the brake a little too hard and they all finally rolled to a stop.  “Jasper’s bringing him out.”

“Good.” Clarke was relieved. She was also feeling slightly guilty about the fact that if nobody  _ had _ invited him that she could just hitch a ride back into DC and take a nap.

“With Harper,” Octavia added.  “And I think Maya.”

“Oh...” Bellamy turned and looked between Raven and Clarke. “And Finn.”

“Super!” Raven said sarcastically as she aggressively popped open the door of the jeep and jumped out. “Can’t fucking wait for that dick to show up.”

The door slamming caused everyone left in the jeep to jump in their seats. “Well, this is going to be a great night!” Clarke clapped. “Happy effing birthday, Monty.”

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s not like I even care,” Clarke slurred as she crossed and uncrossed her legs in the lawn chair that was precariously balanced on Lincoln’s truck bed.  Clarke had decided at some point that she should man the cooler.  And to do it right, she needed to be sitting beside it in her pink lawn chair.  She finished another can of beer and tossed the can behind her, listening to it rattle harmlessly with the others. That was a satisfying sound.  So much so, that she immediately opened the cooler for a replacement.  “He just made it so awkward for me and Raven, you know?”

“Yeah,” Monty nodded sympathetically as he waited to see if the next beer she got of out of the cooler would finally be his or she’d open and down that one, too.

“Who does that?”

“I don’t know,” Monty shrugged. “Finn, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Clarke agreed.  She opened the beer and just nearly got it to her lips when she stopped abruptly, “That’s exactly who. God! Right?”

“Right!” Monty pumped his fist in solidarity.

“He better stay over there,” Clarke hooked her thumb in the opposite direction of where Finn actually was. “Or I’ll shank his ass.”

“He’s a douche,” Raven shouted.  

Clarke’s eyes went wide.  She had totally forgotten that Raven was lying just under her chair on the truck liner.  “Rae? Is that you?” she called toward the sky.

“I’m down here,” Raven said as she tapped Clarke’s foot. “And we’re fine! Aren’t we?”

“We are, yes.”  Clarke smiled a giant sloppy smile and handed Monty the beer. “Happy birthday, little buddy.”

She waited until Monty had gotten a few yards away before cupping her hands around her mouth and yelling, “Birthday Boy, right there! Great guy!”

“Well, look who’s finally having a little fun,” Octavia pointed out as she casually lifted herself onto the truck and settled between Clarke’s legs.  “It’s about time.”

“It was,” Clarke agreed, dropping her chin onto Octavia’s head. “I’ve been so stressed lately.”

“We’ve all been pretty stressed. This was good for us.”

Raven pushed her way all the way under Clarke’s chair so that she could make her arms circle around Clarke’s legs and Octavia’s waist. “I love you.”

“Which one of us?” Clarke asked.

“O,” Raven answered.

“Of course,” Clarke said, laughing.

“Always, me,” Octavia cheered.

“Platonically,” Raven went on.  “You, too, Clarke.”

“Thanks.”

“And your mom.”

“Rae, don’t start,” Clarke warned.

“Not so platonically.”

“Nope,” Clarke clamped her hands over her ears. “Not hearing it.”

“Clarrrrke,” Raven moaned. “Hook me up!”

Something colorful caught Clarke’s eye before she could get into that very old argument yet again. “Ohh, what’s that?”

“I think Harper brought sparklers or something,” Octavia told her.

“I want!” Clarke squealed before suddenly standing up and leaping off the truck.  She miraculously landed on her feet even after four or five stumbling steps forward. She celebrated the feat by throwing her arms over her head in victory. 

"Three for the dismount," Octavia said.

"But ten for the landing," Raven shouted. "Very impressive stick, Miss Griffin."

"Whoo!" Clarke shrieked as she took off toward the other group.

Octavia and Raven both watched as she jogged over to Harper and seemed to be enthusiastically watching them light the sparklers.  They watched as Harper handed over a bundle of said sparklers and Bellamy tossed her a lighter.  The continued to watch as Clarke very determinedly lit all the sparklers in her hand and began to spin in a delirious beer-induced circle.  And finally, they witnessed the exact moment when Clarke, in all her drunken glory, tossed the handful of sparklers into the air and they landed on a very beautiful, but very flammable Blue Spruce.

“Oh, shit,” Raven chuckled.

“Not good,” Octavia followed. “Not good at all.”

 

* * *

 

Lexa opened one eye when she heard the shrill ring of her phone.  She still wasn’t sure why she picked the most obnoxious ringtone ever.  Well, okay, probably because every time she changed it, it would just get changed back anyway.  That’s what little brothers were for.

She took a second to take stock of her surroundings.  She was still on the couch, of course.  She was still wearing the jeans that she had worked in all day.  There was still one red Converse adorning her left foot, but the other one had migrated to the space between the couch cushions just under her butt.  She raised up just enough to pull it out from under her and drop it on the floor.  She kicked off the blanket that had tangled around her knees and looked around for the cell.

The flickering light of the television was illuminating the room just enough for her to see around.  Lexa squinted at the blurry images and realized that the movie playing was Saw.  Aha, she thought.  That explains the dream that she was locked in a dirty bathroom with two dudes chained to the walls.  Although, why the kicking a knife to each other, she would never know.  

She finally found her phone after pushing aside an empty container of what used to be fruit cocktail. She brought the screen close to her face and studied it.

Lincoln calling.

“Fu-uck,” she said to herself before tapping the button. “Yeah, Linc.”

“Lexa, hey,” Lincoln said over the line.  “Sorry to call...you know, so late and all...”

She could already tell something was wrong.  Hell, just the call itself signaled that.  And honestly, she really wasn’t in the mood for any bullshit.  “Lincoln, just tell me what’s going on.”

“Well, uh, there’s a problem.”

“What kind of problem?”

“Like, m-maybe a slight f-fire problem,” Lincoln stuttered out.  

There was a second, possibly two seconds, of silence before Lincoln heard her take a deep, annoyed breath.  “A  _ fire _ problem?”

“Slight.”

“Fire and slight don’t often occupy the same space, Lincoln.  I’m inclined to believe that you’re not being completely truthful right now.”

“Okay,” Lincoln acknowledged. “I’m not sure how much we lost yet.”

“Where?”

“The farm,” he said slowly. He then rushed to, “but nobody’s hurt and the fire’s been contained, and the Fire Department is already here, and it’s the back lot, so mainly some saplings and just a few that would have ready next season and-”

“I’m on my way,” she said as she flicked what looked like a dried pineapple off her knee.  “Just. don’t. move.”

Lexa often surprised herself at how calm she was in the face of most catastrophes. A slight,  _ maybe _ bigger, fire problem wasn’t going to get her all riled up.  At least not yet anyway.  She took a look at herself.  Not terrible.  She slipped her shoe back on and found her glasses lying on the end table.  Not her usual look, but it would work for a 2am fire.

She looked at her phone briefly wondering if a text was in order.  Nah, it might do more harm than good right now.  Instead, she briefly scribbled a note and anchored it to the fridge with a baseball magnet.  She studied the wording.  Nothing too alarming, right? Don’t want him to worry.  She took a deep breath and slipped her phone in pocket. It would have to do for now.


	2. Go Long, My Wayward Wideout

Lexa had been out at first light already surveying the damage. The daylight definitely made it look much worse than it had last night.  Everything was just an dying orange glow until the sun came up.  Now it truly looked like a Blue Spruce graveyard.  The fire itself had taken out a good chunk of the backlot, which was infuriating. After factoring in all the traffic, the heavy fire trucks and the massive amount of water sprayed; she was looking at a giant problem. 

"Why the spruces?” she asked herself as she tapped a charred twig against her leg. “Why not the goddamn Scotch pines I couldn’t give away last season.  Or even the fucking firs...”

She stopped when she heard the unmistakable heavy footsteps of her uncle.

“Hey, kiddo.”

Lexa acknowledged the gruff voice, but didn’t bother to turn around.  “Why did they call you?”

“You know the answer to that question.”

“It’s my farm,” Lexa said, irritation evident. “My responsibility, Gustus.”

“I know that,” Gustus said, holding his hands up in surrender. “Don’t yell at me.  I told them that. They know the situation, though, Lexa.  They wanted to make sure you had an adult, er, uh, someone older around.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m not trying to step on your toes, I just wanted you to know that I’m around if you need me.”

“Thanks,” she said, barely audible.

“Not as bad as it could have been,” Gustus said as he kicked the remains of a burnt tree trunk.  

“Not quite a quarter of an acre.”  Lexa clenched her jaw as she stared over the area. “So, no, not as bad as it could have been. Can’t say I’m thrilled, though.”

“What are you going to do about those kids?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes, “They were hardly kids, Gustus.”

“Exactly, Lexa,” Gustus nodded. “You need to make an example out of them.  At the very least, you should fire Lincoln.”

“Then I’ve got one less guy around to fix this,” Lexa pointed to the burn site. “He gets to be the one to deal with the cleanup.”

“Hey, I know he’s your friend-”

“He’s not my friend!” Lexa shot back. “He’s my employee and I’ll deal with him as I see fit. Got it?”

“Alright,” Gustus said, backing down.

He stared at her, waiting for the calm to wash back over her.  And it would eventually.  The fact that he knew that really annoyed her.  The fact that he stared at her with almost the same exact eyes that her father used to stare at her with, annoyed her even more.

“I’ll take care of it,” she finally said as she began to walk away.

“Do you need me to run back to your place and get the boy?”

“No,” she said, already making a plan for the day. “I’ll take care of that, too.”

 

* * *

  
Clarke still had not slept.  There was a good chance she hadn’t moved in the three hours she’d been home, either.  She just sat there, stock still, watching the second hand tick by on the the oversized clock in the living room of the apartment she shared with Raven and Octavia.

Raven had taken residence on the arm of the couch, arm draped over the back.  And just because it drove Clarke crazy and might get a reaction, she planted her feet on the cushions.  It hadn’t.  She had been watching her for the last twenty minutes or so and still not a word.  Raven had even attempted to start several conversations encompassing several possible topics, but Clarke was having none of it.

“I think I’m an arsonist,” Clarke eventually blurted.

“You’re not,” Raven tried to reassure her. “I’ve burned  _ so _ many things, Clarke. If anybody in this room is an arsonist, it’s me.”

“It’s your job to destroy things,” Clarke responded.  “And you’re great at it.”

Raven paused, “I think it’s a compliment, so I’m going to take it as one.”

“It was.”

“Thanks.”  Raven slipped down on the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest. “So, hey, here’s an idea. It’s novel. It’s daring, but I think it just might make you feel better.”

“What?” Clarke asked blankly, still not looking at her friend.

“How ‘bout you go take a shower and get all the soot and ash and shit off,” Raven suggested. “Maybe stop making the house smell like a forest fire.”

Clarke looked down at her hands, which were still stained with the evidence of the death of hundreds of Christmas trees. “I can’t,” she said. “I deserve this.”

“No, you don’t, Clarke.” Raven gently patted her shoulder. “It was an accident.”

“All I keep seeing in my head is me fifteen years from now and I’ve just gotten my campaign for governor rolling,” Clarke imagined. “It’s  _ just _ starting to gain some traction.  And yeah, of course, people are making the joke that I want to be Governor of Vagina instead of Governor of Virginia because they’ve  _ all _ seen the candid pic of me and that really hot environmental lobbyist that I just  _ had _ to sleep with.  But, you know what, that’s all fine, because, really, what young up-and-coming politician isn’t, at the very least,  _ claiming  _ to have a bit of sexual fluidity.  Most of them are lying, but whatever wins an election, right?”

Clarke stopped and peered over at Raven.

Raven gave her a thumbs up, “I’m fluid as a water bottle, sister.”

“Good for you, self-identification is sometimes hard to pin down.”

“Basically, I’m just really attracted to bombs and your mom.”

“Anyway,” Clarke ignored that masterfully, “everything is just about to blow up-”

“Pun intended?”

“-when out of nowhere Jasper Jordan’s highly edited iPhone version of my drunk ass, spinning around with a cluster of sparklers, singing God Bless America shows up in everybody’s Twitter feed.”

“What are the chances that Twitter would be the source for that kind of breaking news?” Raven asked. “I mean, we’re talking fifteen years from now.”

“They’ll call me the Grinch,” Clarke said.  “They’ll say I burned Christmas and that I hate Jesus or something.”

“Yikes,” Raven frowned. “Good thing you’re an Independent.”

“I’ve heard that prison is nothing like Orange is the New Black.”

“Who said that to you?” Raven joked. “I’ll fuck ‘em up.”

“I’m so screwed, Rae.”

“Yeah, you are,” Raven confirmed. “But, even people in prison take showers, Clarke.”

 

 

* * *

  
  
  


Paperwork sucked. That’s not a tidbit of information kept particularly secret, but it’s true nonetheless. Lexa was sure that the paperwork that had to be done while you desperately needed to be doing something else was probably the very worst kind of paperwork.  But, there’s a business, and there’s insurance, and there’s clauses and contractual obligations and whatever and bullshit, so here she was stuck in the office. Stuck behind behind her desk, ass glued to her dad’s old ridiculous throne chair that he always said made him feel like the king of the tree people.

The tapping of Indra’s shoes against the concrete floor of her office captured her attention and she looked up before seeing her most trusted business manager.

“She’s here,” Indra announced, leaning through the open doorway. “Do you want me to send her back or...?”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded. “Send her to me.”

It took less than a minute for the offending party to rap lightly on the open door.  Indra showed a moment later and pointed to one of the open chairs.

“This is Clarke Griffin,” Indra introduced the girl.  “Clarke, here, has a thing for pyromania.”

“Thanks, Indra,” Lexa said to her. “You can leave us.”

Indra balked at the prospect, but ultimately did as she was told.  She closed the door with a solid bang on the way out.

Lexa rolled her eyes, but turned her attention to Clarke.

_ Clarke _ .

Well, Clarke was not at all what Lexa was expecting.  Instead of some Superman looking nerd guy, she was suddenly faced with some blonde chick that looked like she just walked off the set of a Payless Shoe Source commercial.  Or something less cheap, and more gorgeous.  Maybe more like a phone service carrier commercial.  Probably so, considering the look on her face.  She definitely didn’t look like was happy with her data plan.

“You’re the one that burned down 300 of my finest Blue Spruces?” Lexa asked as she rolled an ink pen between her fingers.  That was actually a nervous habit, but nobody needed to know that.  Lexa was hoping for intimidation.

It might have actually been working, because Clarke responded with, “And you’re the one that Lincoln said was probably going to kill me.”

“I assure you, Clarke, I’m not going to kill you,” Lexa said. “There are laws against that.  Even when the criminal in question has murdered poor, defenseless Christmas trees.”

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke apologized. “I just want you to know that this incident is not in line with my character, and I’m absolutely mortified at the damage I’ve caused from being so incoherently reckless. I, of course, would like to speak with you about some sort of restitution for my negligence.”

“Did you prepare that?” Lexa asked, already intrigued by this person.

“Maybe,” Clarke answered. “I made some notes.”

“Impressive, Clarke.” Lexa dropped the pen on her desk and stood to walk around it.  Just as she got in front of Clarke, she lifted herself onto the edge and prided herself on such a masterful power play. “Because I have an idea that would allow you to pay me back without any other authorities getting involved.”

“I would love to hear about that,” Clarke said eagerly.

“You,” Lexa pointed at her, “would work here. You’d help cleanup the debris left from the fire and prepare the land for replanting all the trees we’ve lost.  Plus, as an added bonus for me, you’d also help replenish the rest of the acreage from last year’s sales.”

“That’s your idea?”

Lexa’s eyebrows raised slightly with the hint of Clarke’s attitude, “Yes, that’s about it.”

“I don’t know anything about...farming.”

“We’ll teach you,” Lexa said plainly. “Lincoln will be your personal mentor, in fact.”

“Lincoln?”

“Yep,” Lexa nodded firmly. “His continuance with my business here may or may not be riding on your availability.”

Clarke sighed loudly, “C’mon, that’s not fair.”

“Life rarely is, Clarke.”

“Okay, hey, I totally appreciate your willingness not to send me to prison, but I can’t do that,” Clarke told her. “I’m a senior at Georgetown.  I have finals and a thesis due in a few weeks.  I don’t have time for anything but school. Much less, like, planting trees or whatever.”

“Hm.” Lexa reached back for her pen to roll between her fingers some more. “You found the time, during your busy homeworking schedule, to gather up your buddies and take a fun drive out to my Christmas tree farm and get high-”

“Drunk!” Clarke vehemently argued.

“on acid,” Lexa continued.

“Natty Light,” Clarked corrected that, too.

“And just lit up a box of sparklers and threw them into into my livelihood without a thought for me or my people.”

“Your  _ people _ ?”

“I have people,” Lexa countered.

Clarke paused to really take Lexa in for a moment.  There was no way that Lexa was much older.  In fact, Clarke couldn’t be sure that the woman she was looking at wasn’t actually younger than her.  Her hair was kind of a curly mess and there was probably three rips in her jeans that definitely weren’t by design.  Her black t-shirt just had  _ TREE CREW _ printed in green block letters with a Christmas tree dotting the end of of the statement like punctuation.  Lexa looked a little absurd with the serious look that was etched on her face.  She was mega hot, intensely cute, crazy smoking girl-who-you-here-with interesting, though.  That’s how Clarke would describe her if pressed for a first hand account.  Which, she wouldn’t be, because Clarke was the culprit here.

“I don’t have all day to wait around for an answer,” Lexa said as they stared at each other.

“Maybe I could come around a few hours a week-”

“This isn’t a negotiation, Clarke.” Lexa stated bluntly. “Either you commit to volunteering and replanting the crop you ruined or I call the police and press charges.”

“No, no, no need for that,” Clarke shook her head. “No, I’ll do it. I’ll figure it out.”

“I trust that you and Indra can work out the scheduling then,” Lexa said without much room for argument.

“I trust that we can.”


	3. Groundstalker

It was Tuesday morning before Clarke returned to the scene of the crime.   _ Early _ Tuesday morning. There had also been a thunderstorm the night before that had given the mess of burnt debris an even better mudslide quality.  She was just mourning the loss of her of favorite sneakers that were currently encased in mud and soot when she heard Lincoln’s muffled voice.

“You know, it’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be,” Lincoln told her as they shifted through the mounds of limbs and threw them upon a nearby stack.

“Huh?” she asked him, already pulling an ear bud out of her left ear. “Sorry I’m listening to a recording of an article about the influences of pop culture on political motivations.”

“Oh,” he smiled at her and adjusted his cap to set higher on his forehead. “You don’t feel like this is punishment enough?”

“Actually,” Clarke twirled the ear bud, “ _ this _ is what’s getting me through it.”

“I said, it’s not as bad as you think.”

“I don’t know, Lincoln,” Clarke sighed she pointed to all the ground they had left to cover. “It kinda sucks really bad right about now.”

“Well, yeah,” he agreed. “This sucks.  But I meant, working for Lexa.  She’s not that bad.”

“She’s intense.”

“She is.”

“Really, really intense.”

“You can be, too,” Lincoln pointed out.

“Thanks,” Clarke replied, motioning to put the bud back in.

“You know what I mean,” he said quickly. “I know, I’m not part of the original Rat Pack or whatever, but I’ve been around long enough to know you’re operating with your fair share of intensity. You’re always trying for bigger and better. Nothing’s ever quite good enough.  You and Lexa aren’t that different, really.”

He turned back to his work after that, leaving Clarke with the statement.  It was true enough about her.  She figured it was probably even more so about Lexa.

A few long moments went by before Clarke responded. “It’s not the Rat Pack. We never called ourselves that. It was the Space Cases.” she explained. “Arkadia High Cosmonauts. So, obviously, Space Cases.”

“I knew that, too,” Lincoln laughed.

The conversation was subsequently ended when both noticed that their boss what coming up the trail.

“Hey, guys,” Lexa said upon making it within range.

“Lexa,” Lincoln greeted. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Linc,” she cracked a thin smile. She looked around the area, “Progress, I like it.”

“We’re working on it,” Lincoln said.

“Slowly, but surely,” Clarke piped up.  She pulled her remaining ear bud out and rolled them up to place in her pocket.  She wasn’t sure if studying on the job was permissible.

Lexa watched her intently.  “You can listen to your music if you want, Clarke.”

“Nah,” Clarke waved her hand. “I wasn’t. I mean, it wasn’t music.  I was basically studying by audio-article, or something.”

“Okay...”

“I paid my best friend thirty bucks to read a publication on culture and politics out loud on my voice memos.”

“That’s a real good friend, you’ve got there,” Lexa said somewhat sarcastically.

“Yeah, the best,” she answered honestly.  

“Well, you can listen to whatever you want,” Lexa told her. “I’m no tyrant.”

“Okay.”  Clarke promptly dug her headphones back out of her pocket and went ahead with her studies.

By the time Raven’s voice had announced that she was, “done you, nerdy motherfucker!” it seemed like hours had passed.  And maybe it had, because Lincoln had worked up quite a pile of debris and Lexa had even taken it upon herself to clear a sizable section of land.  Good, Clarke thought, a boss who’s not afraid to jump in and get her hands dirty.

The thought had barely fleeted before it materialized into real life consequence.

“Shit!” Lexa huffed, gripping her fist tightly before shaking it out.  She kicked at a stack of ashy limbs and leaned down to inspect it.

“Something getcha?”

“Something sharp in the rubble,” Lexa said.  Only a second later, she pulled out what looked to be a broken beer bottle. “From the party, I presume.”

Clarke shrunk back, feeling bad even though this particular injury wasn’t directly her fault.

Lexa carefully extracted the glass from the limbs and placed them in an spot out of the way of their work before examining her injury.

Clarke cautiously took a few steps over, “Want me to take a look?”

“Are you a medical professional?”

“No,” Clarke said, taking Lexa’s hand anyway. “But, my mom is.”

“Hardly counts.”

“Eh,” Clarke shrugged. She pulled an alcohol pad, a packet of Neosporin, and a band-aid out of her back pocket. “First aid is kind of my thing, though.”

“You keep bandages in your pocket?”

“I’ve saved several people from sure death,” Clarke boasted with a sly grin. “As hard as that is for you to believe, I’m sure.”

Lexa never took her eyes off Clarke’s hands quickly and assuredly wiping down the cut and applying the medication.  “I believe it.”

Clarke finished covering the wound with the band-aid and released Lexa with a satisfied clap, “There ya go, all better.”

Lexa checked it out, “Well, I hope you’re around in case I ever take a bullet to the gut or something.”

“It would be my pleasure to save you,” Clarke told her. “Besides, with my future career path, the bullet would probably be meant for me anyway.”

“Politician, huh?”

“One can only hope.”

“Hm,” Lexa seemed to store the information away. “So, all my employees usually get a guided tour from Indra, but she’s busy this week...”

“Alright, I’ll try to catch up with her some other time.”

“No,” Lexa smirked, “I meant, I’ll give you the tour instead. So, you’ll know your way around the grounds and the offices.  The farm can be hard to navigate if you aren’t familiar with the landmarks.”

“Oh.”  Something about a guided tour with the boss gave her a very faint fluttering in her stomach. “Well, I’d hate to leave Linc out here all by himself.”

Lexa looked over to where Lincoln was working several yards away, “I think he’ll be okay.”

“It’s just that,” Clarke frowned. “It’s my mess.”

“You do know that Lincoln is actually getting paid for this despite his involvement in the incident, right?”

“Ye-ah?”

“So, he’ll be okay, Clarke.”

“Can we do it Thursday?” Clarke asked. “I’m here, all day Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Will be, every week, until the crop’s back in.  You’re here Thursday, right?”

“I’m here everyday this time of year,” Lexa answered. “So, yeah.”

“Thursday.”

“We’ll do it Thursday.”

“First thing on Thursday,” Clarke said.

“Let’s make it nine on Thursday morning,” Lexa suggested.

“Sounds great,” Clarke agreed. “Nine o’clock, Thursday. I’ve got nothing else going on then.”

“Me, either,” Lexa said. “Nothing.”

 

* * *

  
When Clarke finally arrived home that evening, she was a mess.  Her shoes were ruined completely, her favorite jeans had been ripped at the knee, and she was pretty sure she’d never smelled worse in her life.

She was greeted by the two biggest shit-eating grins that ever existed.

“Well, well, well,” Octavia waved her to the kitchen table where she was eating a giant slice of pizza. “How’s the new career?”

“Please tell me there’s more of that,” Clarke pointed at her food.

“Pizza? Yes,” Octavia said. “But first, tell us how it went.”

“Our tree-farming princess is home and she’s hungry.” Raven plopped a pizza box in front of her and slid into the seat next to O. “Tell us everything.”

“It sucks,” Clarke said, sliding into the seat. “I’m doing manual labor.”

“And this, kids,” Raven said in her best talk show host voice, “is why we don’t drink and light fireworks.”

“Exactly, kids,” Clarke said to the fake audience before she bit into a slice of cheesy goodness.

“I know this will probably be of no comfort,” Octavia shared, “but Lincoln said you really held your own today.”

“Yeah?”

“I think he was surprised,” Octavia laughed. “He didn’t think you’d make past lunch.”

“Exceeding expectations!” Clarke congratulated herself.  She rewarded that with a another bite. “So what happened around here today?”

“Guess who’s moving to Houston?”

Clarke eyed Raven. “Who?” she asked suspiciously.

“Finn,” Octavia answered, killing Raven’s buildup. “He’s leaving. Finally.  The bastard.”

“Oh,” Clarke said.  She looked back at Raven, “And how do you feel about that?”

“We dated, it’s over,” Raven shrugged.

“Rae, you dated for six years,” Clarke said. “You had all that high school sweetheart, puppy love stuff.”

“And the smug asshole hit on you before the six years was up, Clarke. Told you he had loved you the whole time. I hope his balls get stuck in a garbage disposal.” Raven swiped her hands together as if to signal she was done with it. “Besides, that was months ago.  I’ve got a new love.”

“If you say anything about my mom...”

“Oh, yeah,” Raven smiled. “Two new loves, then.”

Octavia pointed to their living room where some monstracity had been placed in Clarke’s favorite recliner. “Exhibit A.”

“Rosie!” Raven said excitedly. “That’s my senior project.”

“How do I know that robot?” Clarke asked, trying to remember where she’d seen it before.

“Because Raven has built a real-life version of Rosie from The Jetsons,” Octavia supplied.  “And then placed it in our home, like it wouldn’t terrify an unsuspecting person just coming home from a long day at work.”

“Don’t hate on Rosie.”

“I’m not,” Octavia argued. “I’m just not sure that this is the right place for her.”

“Seriously, O,” Raven warned. “I will drop you like a chicken nugget.”

The argument was bound to go on for days.  Clarke already knew that, so she quietly excused herself and bounded up the stairs to her room.  She quickly showered and readied herself for bed, where she promptly collapsed in relief.

It had been the single longest fucking day of her life. Well, that was impossible, but still.

She was so ready for that long elusive night of slumber when just as she was about to shut her eyes, a quick flash of curly hair and green eyes appeared.  Clarke bit her lip in the darkness.  Lexa.  Lexa...she didn’t even know her last name yet...Lexa.  What was it about that girl that was so damn mysterious?

 

* * *

 

 

She knew she shouldn’t have done this.  It was supposed to be a relaxing night with quality couch time.  Just some TV and a snack.  She was just curious, she told herself.  There was nothing wrong with creeping on an employee’s Instagram. Wait, was Clarke really an employee, though?  She didn’t pay her, so there were definitely gray areas involved.

Plus, Clarke apparently was really into her own privacy. That’s fine, who isn’t?  Then there was the whole too-nervous-to-actually-follower-request thing, because how would Clarke take her awkward pseudo-boss suddenly trying to friend her on social media.  So, no, she wasn’t creeping, she was just enjoying the one picture of Clarke smiling like she had was riding her cotton candy stuffed unicorn to pick up her winning lottery ticket.

“Who is that?”

“Nobody,” Lexa quickly exited the screen and shut her laptop. “Just somebody helping out at the tree farm.”

“She’s hot.”

“No, she’s not.”

Aden’s widened his eyes like she was nuts. “Lex, this is why you don’t have a girlfriend!”

“How does this have anything to do with my having a girlfriend...or, in this case, not.”

“You don’t recognize hot girls when you see them,” he said as he tossed her a container of fruit cocktail.

She caught it and then accepted the fork he had brought her. “First,” she held up a finger, “don’t objectify women.  Second,” the held up two fingers, “did you hear me when I said she  _ works _ for us?”

“So what?” He was unmoved by the argument, obviously.  “Interoffice dating,” he said as she slid backwards over the couch and landed in his back beside her.  “Happens all the time.”

“Who do you know who’s interoffice dating?”

“I don’t have to justify myself to you.”  He swung his legs over to kick her shoulder. “Besides, who do you know who’s not?”

“What?”

“Boom,” he said like he had just made the most solid argument the world had ever seen.

“ _ I’m _ not,” she answered. “So, boom to you, too.”

“I’m just saying, she’s cute.”  Aden made a complete roll off the couch and onto his feet. “You should talk her up.”

“You ever heard of a sexual harassment suit, kid?” Lexa asked as he walked away. “You want me to be broke? If I have no money, who’s going to keep you in shoes and hot pockets? Huh?”

“I have an inheritance,” he yelled before his door shut.

“True,” she said to herself as she dug into her fruit cup.


	4. Forget You

“What the hell is going on with you?” Raven asked as she stumbled into the kitchen, heading for her coffeemaker with a vengeance.

Clarke stood at the kitchen sink, furiously rubbing copious amounts of heavy-duty Orange Magic hand cleaner onto her hands under the spray of the faucet. “I feel like I’ll never be clean again.”

After preparing her Keurig for a morning brew, Raven made her way over and picked up the gallon jug of soap.  “Seriously, Clarke. Was all this necessary?”

“Isn’t the fact that it’s here and you’re holding it answer that question?”

“You’ve only done a day of actual work, Clarke,” Raven pointed out. “That’s it. One day.”

“I’m dirt-stained!” Clarke held up her hands as evidence. She slammed her palms back down on the counter at the very same precise time that a loud, booming knock rattled the whole place.

“This is why everyone calls you princess, by the way,” Raven told her as she pivoted around Clarke to move toward the front door of their apartment.

“Sometimes, I kinda wanna punch you,” Clarke said under her breath.

Raven’s ultrasonic hearing must have been on high because she yelled back, “Yeah, well, sometimes the feeling’s mutual.”  

Clarke got another second of two of scrubbing in before she was back and promptly announcing the arrival of Bellamy.

“Hey, firestarter,” he said after seeing Clarke.  “Washing off the sap of a million Redwoods?”

“They were Spruces, dumbass,” Clarke replied, pumping another gob of cleaner out. “Shows what you know.”

Raven, by now, was tapping on the counter waiting for her coffee to appear in her Tony Stark mug.  “So, why are you here?” she asked Bellamy.

“Can’t I just come by to say hi?”

“Nope,” Raven shot him down. “Not when you come in smelling like cheese and carrying around,” she halted for just long enough to peer down at his hands, “wedding invitations.”

Clarke leaned his way and sniffed, “Why do you smell like cheese at eight in the morning?”

“I don’t,” he argued, subtlely sniffing himself. “Do I?”

“Like you’re hiding an omelet in your pants,” Raven said. “But whatever.  Picking out the invitations, huh?”

“Yeah,” he smiled, holding them up.

“Gina’s trusting you to do that?” Clarke asked him, finally drying off her hands. “I mean, that’s kind of important.”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Bellamy played the part of deeply offended before admitting, “She said I could do it if I can get O to help.”

“Ah,” both Raven and Clarke said simultaneously, exchanging a look between them.

“Where is she anyway?” Bellamy looked up the stairs toward her room. “Is she still asleep?”

“Not asleep,” Raven said. “But I wouldn’t go up there.”

“No,” Clarke seconded as she inspected her hands for leftover residue. “Definitely do not go up there.”

“Is she sick?”

“Not sick,” Raven answered.

“She’s probably feeling pretty great, actually,” Clarke said.

“Opposite of sick,” Raven murmured as she took a sip of coffee.

“Lincoln slept over,” Clarke informed him. “And I didn’t hear much sleeping.”

“When I walked by her room this room it sounded like they were still playing the left-footed hanky panky.”

Bellamy’s lip curled in disgust, “Didn’t need to know all that.”

“You asked,” Clarke reminded him. “Don’t ask if you don’t want to know.”

“If you come in with question, question, question,” Raven shrugged. “Eventually you might just get an answer.”

“Think about it,” Clarke finished. “Think about it hard.”

“I’m leaving.”  Bellamy turned and headed for the exit. “Have her call me.”

“No, don’t go,” Raven said sarcastically as she followed him to the door.  She skipped ahead to open it. “Please stay,” she said her fakest, sweetest voice and then pointed dramatically toward the building’s corridor. “You have a good one. Okay. Bye.”

When he was gone, Raven marched right back to her coffee. “God, why is it so satisfying to fuck with that guy.”

Clarke smiled wholeheartedly, “I don’t know, but it makes me feel alive.”

A few minutes later, Octavia came down the stairs very much alone and very much disconnecting a call from Lincoln. “Morning,” she mumbled, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

“Good morning, dear,” Raven greeted her.

“Lincoln said Lexa is already waiting for you to show up for your thing this morning,” Octavia said to Clarke.

Clarke checked her watch, “I have an hour.”

“Is she really that much of a hard ass?” Raven asked curiously.

“Seems like it,” Clarke answered as she whirled around the kitchen gathering her stuff.  She picked up a long sleeve tee off the back of one of the kitchen chairs and slipped it over the one she was already wearing.  

“Clarke of the Tree Crew,” Raven declared after she read the shirt.  “You’ve been branded.”

“Ha ha,” Clarke said as she passed by Raven and gave her a nice little punch in the arm.  She kissed Octavia on the cheek and told her, “Call your douchey ass brother in a hour or so.”

  
  


* * *

 

“What are you doing out there?” Indra called as she watched Lexa pass by her open office door for the twelfth time.  “You need to go sit down, child.”

Lexa paused, but only for a moment. “Too much coffee,” she said before continuing.

“Looks like more than coffee.”

“Just waiting on Clarke,” Lexa said, brushing it off.

“Have you become her personal greeter?” Indra asked, raising her voice enough to carry to the lobby area.  “Do you need me to get you a Walmart vest and a roll of smiley stickers?”

“Indra,” Lexa warned, passing by again. “I just want to get this out of the way. I have other stuff I need to do.”

“I still can’t figure out why you’re doing it all.”

“ _ You’re _ busy,” Lexa pointed at Indra’s desk.

“Exactly! That girl caused this mountain of paperwork.” Indra tapped on a stack of folders in front of her. “Plus, I’ve got a ton of orders to put in and invoices to sort out.”

“I know-”

“And you’re taking the time to do an orientation tour.”

“It’s a training exercise,” Lexa defended.

“Training?” Indra smirked. “Sure. I see you pacing around out there like the Queen is visiting.”

“Am not.”

“You are.”

Lexa noticed a flash of blonde at the front office door. “Shh!”

“Shh?”

“Yeah, shh!”

Lexa gave Indra one last glare before turning around in just enough time to catch Clarke walk in. “Hi,” Lexa said just a bit louder than normal. “Morning, Clarke.”

Clarke furrowed her brow. “I’m twenty minutes early,” she started. “I thought we said 9:00.  Are you one of those people who say 9:00, but really mean 8:30?”

“I’m not,” Lexa said, sounding more defensive than she had to be.  She was the boss.  She could say 9:00 and mean whatever she wanted.

“Good morning, Miss Griffin,” Indra caught Clarke’s attention as she strolled out of her office, heading toward a box of pastries located in the kitchenette. “I’m sorry that I can’t conduct the usual new hire orientation tour, but I’m sure Lexa will be just as thorough in my absence.”

Clarke tried to make it appear as if she wasn’t terrified of Indra and hadn’t been thanking all the powers that be that Lexa was the one she was being sent alone on a five mile hike around the grounds with instead of the stone-faced business manager.  “I’m sure the experience will be just as informative.”

“If not more,” Indra mumbled around a bear claw as she passed back by.

“Okay, let’s get started.” Lexa awkwardly pressed a water bottle into Clarke’s hand. “You may need this. It’s a long walk.”

“Oh, okay,” Clarke said taking a glance at the bottle. “Mt Weather Rain Water?”

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded, heading for the glass doors that led to the beginning of the dirt path they’d be following all morning. “It’s taken from a local natural spring just a little north of here.  I try to help them out by selling it in all the shops.”

Clarke followed, unscrewing the top and made a ‘cheers’ motion to Lexa before taking a healthy gulp. Her eyes brightened afterwards. “Wow, that shit’s so good, it could melt your face off.”

They had just cleared the building when Lexa launched into her speech. “So, that was the main office building. You’re probably already familiar with the layout. Kitchen, Indra’s office, you’ve been back to my office already, of course.  Also, there’s the employee lounge, which Lincoln probably showed you the other day.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, taking longer steps than normal just to keep up.

“I like to call it Tree Crew Headquarters.  That’s what my dad called it, I guess it stuck...”

Clarke knew she should be listening, but her mind was already wandering. Lexa was all business this morning. Of course, she was.  Why wouldn’t she be? Business in the way of attitude, exclusively.  She looked downright casual in her jeans and a hoodie that had what looked like several different colors of paint on it.  She also had rubber boots pulled on over her jeans, which reminded Clarke that she definitely needed to get some of those.

“...sits on about ten acres all together, but I’m not utilizing it all with trees just yet...”

Clarke made a noncommittal sound that she hoped would suffice as paying attention.

It’s just that trees weren’t really Clarke’s thing.  Or farming. Or cultivation.  But it definitely seemed to be Lexa’s thing if her serious tone was anything to go by.  Why so serious, Lexa?  Lincoln had said that she wasn’t too bad, though.  So she had to have at least somewhat of a lighter personality that Clarke had been privy to so far. Clarke just hadn’t quite seen it just yet.  Which was surprising because Clarke Griffin had a gift for reading people, and up until now Lexa was like reading Tolstoy.

Clarke must have missed quite a bit of the Intro to Tree Farming informational oration, because when she suddenly asked, “Does your dad own this place?” Lexa stopped short and turned quickly to face her.

“No,” she said shortly. “I do. I thought that was clear.”

“You seem a little young to be heading up your own business.”

“Do I?”

“How old are you?” Clarke asked. “Can’t be any older than me.”

Lexa gave her a quick once over that Clarke seemed to feel in every nerve of her body.  It trickled down her spine until her toes throbbed with the temptation to run far away.

“I’m not.”

Clarke returned the once over very purposely, “So not older than me?”

“No,” Lexa answered.

“Oh,” Clarke said, not really getting anywhere. “I was just wondering if you ran it for him or whatever.”

“No,” Lexa stated. “It’s mine.”  She walked ahead a few feet before stopping again and faced Clarke, who had yet to move. “It  _ was _ his. He died. Along with my mother. Now, it’s mine.”

Clarke really didn’t know what to say to that so she choked out, “God, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Lexa said. “It’s been years.”

“How many?”

Lexa stared hard at the girl. “You ask a lot of questions, Clarke.”

“If you’re uncomfortable talking about it, then I apologize.”

“Five.”

“Five years?”

“Yes,” Lexa said, walking ahead again. “I was sixteen.  I’m twenty-one now.  So, no, I’m not older than you and, yes, I do own the place.”

Clarke rushed to catch up, hoping to get more information.  She didn’t.

“So these are the Fraser Firs,” Lexa gestured around her, not slowing down.  There’s four running acres.  We divide each acre into three blocks, which makes it easier when planting.  Helps me with inventory.  Keeps all my tree lines looking perfect.”

“That’s important?”

“It’s very important to me,” Lexa said without an ounce of mirth.

It was a while before either of them spoke about anything other than trees again. Lexa seemed determined to keep all conversation to conifer-related topics.  Clarke, to her credit, was taking in as much as possible.  It was difficult not to be bored out of her mind, but watching Lexa speak definitely helped spark up the journey.

“That’s the barn,” Lexa announced as the reached the end of the continuous row of trees.  “That’s where we keep all the heavy equipment.”

“Okay.” Clarke studied it for a bit. “Are you going to let me drive a tractor?”

“You can’t control a sparkler,” Lexa reminded her. “Why the hell would I let you drive a tractor?”

“Fair enough.”

“Scotch Pines,” Lexa announced as they made a hard right and headed for a different species. “Normally, I would be telling you how to sell the different types.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you won’t be here for the selling season,” Lexa explained. “But, just in case you’re ever out shopping for Christmas trees, Scotch Pines have excellent retention.  You sell a Scotch to those neat, fussy parents who are arguing with their kids about pine needles making a mess.”

“Good to know,” Clarke said.

“Fraser firs are stronger, though,” Lexa informed her. “Typically the more traditional choice.  Nicely shaped and smell really good.”

“Sounds like my last girlfriend,” Clarke joked.

Lexa’s eyes cut over to her and then away just as quickly. She glanced back over and then straight ahead, seemingly picking up the pace.

The silence that overtook them started to make Clarke a little nervous.  She was starting to really regret that joke.  She had become so accustomed to people their age not making a big deal of sexuality, that she had forgotten there was still plenty of prejudice.  Clarke was just formulating a non-apology apology for making it awkward when Lexa spoke up.

“Mine, too,” she said simply.

Now it was Clarke’s turn to double-take. “Your ex?”

“Yeah,” Lexa confirmed. “Costia.”

Clarke did her best to stop the smile, but there was no use.  “What is Costia like?”

“Nicely shaped,” Lexa said. “Smelled good.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh, “Then why is she an ex?”

Lexa took a long time to answer.  It was almost as if she needed time to collect it all. “We got together when we were young.  It was just before my parents died, actually.  And she was great during that time.  She’s probably the reason I got through it, to be honest.  But after I turned eighteen, it was time to take over the businesses.  Be an adult. I guess she just fell lower and lower on my list of priorities.”

“Oh.” The explanation was sobering.

“I messed up,” Lexa admitted. “But then she started playing head games that I didn’t have time for and we went our separate ways.”

“I see.”

“We’re still friends,” Lexa said to lighten the mood. “She goes to school in New Orleans.  According to Facebook, she’s very happy with some girl named Lulu, but the humidity is hell on her hair.  So...there’s that.”

“You win some, you lose some.”

“Yeah,” Lexa agreed. “So these,” Lexa presented the newest group of trees, “are my favorite.”

“Nice,” Clarke said. She looked intently, but it was mostly to humor the other girl.

“The Blue Spruce,” Lexa walked over to one and gently handled a branch. “Notice the bluish tint. It’s beautiful, huh?”

“It’s fantastic, Lexa.”

“Great alternative to the traditional fir.”

“If you’re into bucking tradition,” Clarke mused.

“And this,” Lexa stopped in a particular area that Clarke had grown very familiar with, “is what we refer to as the Spruce backlot. It usually doesn’t look like somebody went all Independence Day on it.”

“I remember what it looked like before.”

“Yeah.”

Clarke sighed heavily, “You know, I  _ am _ really sorry about this.”

“I know, Clarke.”

Lexa peered out over the devastation for so long that Clarke was beginning to feel uncomfortable.  She looked back over her shoulder toward the plains that gave way to hills.  One hill in particular stood out because it was close and there was a fairly big house big atop.

“Hey, is that where you live?” Clarke asked, curiosity piqued. “Nice place.”

Lexa answered without looking, “No.”

“Is it on your property?”

“Yeah,” Lexa said. “It is.”

Clarke nearly gasped, “It’s yours, but you don’t live there.”

“That’s correct, Clarke.”

“Hm,” Clarke was puzzled. “Looks pretty nice.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Lexa finally gazed in the same direction as Clarke. “I’ve never been in there.”

“Never?”

“Nope,” Lexa started to walk away, back up the path, towards the offices.  “My dad was building it as a gift to my mom. I don’t think it’s completely finished.”

“That’s pretty romantic.”

“What?”

“Building a house for someone,” Clarke said. “Your dad seems like he was a cool guy.”

“He was,” Lexa smiled sadly.  “What about yours?”

“My dad?” Clarke smiled at the mention of him. “He’s a cool guy, too.  Don’t see him very often anymore, though.”

“That sucks,” Lexa comisserated.

“Yeah, well,” Clarke put together the best explanation, “he’s an interesting character.  He’s a physics professor and somehow got obsessed with floating himself over Niagara Falls.”

Lexa’s brow scrunched in confusion. “What? Why?”

“I told you he was an interesting character.”

“So did he do it?”

“Yeah, multiple times,” Clarke answered. “So now, he lives in Canada to avoid prosecution.”

“That’s crazy.”

“That’s why he and my mom got divorced,” Clarke said. “She’s not exactly into adventure, or fun, or laughter.”

“My mom was an instructor at the Naval Academy,” Lexa said. “I know exactly what you mean.  Commander Beckett was not one for endorsing any type of joy.”

“So fun wasn’t allowed?”

“Only in controlled, measured doses,” Lexa said. “Your mother in the service as well?”

“No, no,” Clarke replied. “My mom is a surgeon.”

“How does the daughter of a surgeon and physics professor decide to become a politician?”

“An undeniable compulsion to make a world a better place?”  It turned out sounding much more like a question. Clarke frowned at her own delivery.

Lexa laughed at that, a full on, full body type of laugh. It was short-lived, but a genuine laugh nonetheless.  “Or you’re incredibly naive.”

“Maybe.”

They continued the idle chit chat until they arrived back the a large building that set off to the west of the main offices.

“The warehouse,” Lexa motioned with her head toward a large steel building. “That’s where we keep the trees that people just want to pick up.  I like to sell the experience of actually sawing one down, but some people just aren’t into it.”

“Gotcha.”

“There’s also the gift shop, the Tree Farm version of the candle shop, and we do a little cookie and cocoa stand at Christmas time,” Lexa said. “It’s all pretty festive.”

“When does that start?”

“Mid-November,” Lexa said.  She noticed out of the corner of her eye that a group of employees was heading their way.  “And that’s it,” she said with abrupt finality.

“Cool,” Clarke said. “I really appreciate you tak-”

“Yeah,” Lexa cut her off as the group came closer. “Here comes Lincoln. He’s got your worklist for the day.  He can probably answer any other questions you might have.

“Uh,” Clarke was a bit stunned by the immediate turnaround. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’ll see you around,” Lexa said, already on her way back toward the office.

Clarke watched her go. “You bet.”


	5. Death By Chunky Munky

Abby was making a show of slowing rubbing her temples.  She did that when she was completely exasperated by something that Clarke had done, or said, or attempted to do, or when Clarke would try to explain her love of politics.  This particular temple-rubbing was centered on Clarke’s drunken pyrotechnics.  That, and the fact that said drinking and sparkler-twirling had decimated a portion of someone’s hard earned tree crop.

“So not only where you completely irresponsible that night,” Abby droned. “You’re continuing to be irresponsible by volunteering at this...what was it again?”

Abby looked over at Raven, who was perched on the couch beside her.  Raven looked at Clarke. Clarke looked like she could be sick at any moment.

“Well, Raven?” Abby asked again.

“Uh, it’s a Christmas Tree Farm,” Raven answered shakily.

Clarke would normally feel bad that her friend had gotten tied up in a bitchdown from her mother, but this one was Raven’s fault.  It could have been a nice, quiet breakfast.  It could have been over in an hour, possibly even less time.  But, no. No. No. Raven had to mention her new “job.” She didn’t mean to, Clarke knew that.  Still, it was hard to forgive even with lack of intent.

“I’m not sure how  _ that _ is being irresponsible, Mom.”

“You’re spending three days a week on a farm, Clarke,” Abby stated. “Three days a week during the last semester of your undergrad.  Three days you should be working on your thesis.  Three days you should be studying for finals.  Three days you should be securing your internship.”

“You think that internship is a joke. You’ve said as much many times.”

“I think if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it 100%.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “What was I supposed to do, Mom? Lexa gave me an opportunity to pay her back without any repercussions.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Abby glared at her. “Maybe actually  _ paying _ her back. It couldn’t have been that much.  It was a bunch of Christmas trees.”

“More than I have.”

“You should have called me.”

Clarke was fuming, “Oh, sure, Mom. Because I was looking so forward to having  _ this _ conversation.”

“Well, it’s done now,” Abby said. “Ask her to give me a figure. I’ll take care of it.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“No, Mom,” Clarke said. “It’s my problem. I’m fixing it.”

Clarke was stubborn.  It infuriated her mother.  It infuriated Abby even more that Clarke’s stubbornness was a trait directly out of her own book.

“Fine,” Abby said, dangerously calm. She stood, grabbed her purse, and marched toward the door of Clarke’s apartment. “Don’t come to me later when you realize this is a mistake.”

“Oh, I’ll try not to.” Clarke rolled her eyes so hard that Raven thought she might have actually heard it.

When Abby was gone, Clarke turned to Raven. “Can you believe her?”

“I can’t,” Raven said, obviously in awe. “She’s so fucking hot, Clarke.”

 

* * *

 

  
  


“I have Blood Knight practice today,” Aden reminded Lexa as they travelled the streets of Annapolis toward Aden’s middle school. 

“I know,” she said distractedly, checking the time on the dash.  “It’s on the board at home, it’s in my phone, and it’s on my calendar in the office.”

“Coach has been talking about moving me up to forward,” he continued. “Have I told you that?”

“Six times, buddy.”  Lexa silently cursed the traffic.  She really should’ve taken a different route.

“You okay?” he asked. “You’re weirder than normal.”

“We’re running late.”

Aden wasn’t concerned. “Just a few minutes.”

“Yeah, now,” Lexa said. “But I’ll be really late to the farm.”

“It’s not like you’ll get in trouble, Lex.”

She peeked over to him and noticed the smile on his face.  “I guess you’re right.”

“Always.”

“So forward, huh?” she questioned. “That’s very cool, A.  Do you think you’ll like that better than the midfield?”

“I think so,” he said. “But it’s just a tryout. No promises or anything.”

“You’ll be great,” she said as she reached over and ruffled Aden’s hair.

“Don’t!” he screamed, trying in vain to fix it. He flipped down the visor to check the part and pushed it back into place meticulously. “Do you know how long it took me to do this?”

“Yes,” Lexa answered. “Thirty minutes, that’s why we’re late. You spend more time on your hair than I do.”

“It’s for the ladies,” he said with a smirk.

“Yeah, well, mine, too,” Lexa said, tossing her hair back over her shoulder dramatically.

“As if you have any,” Aden teased.  

“And you do?”

“Maybe.”

“Who?” Lexa asked. “Do I know her?”

“No.”

“How do you know?”

Aden flipped the visor up and sat back. “Because I know.”

“Alright, alright,” Lexa said, stopping at a red light. “You can keep your secret.”

“What about you?” Aden asked as he dug through Lexa’s bag and pulled out a pop-tart packet. “Can I have this?”

“Didn’t you eat?”

“Yeah, but I’m still hungry,” he said.  He peeled open the treat and looked at her expectantly. “Sooo...have you talked to the girl you keep staring at on Insta or what?”

“That never happened.”

“You should,” Aden said. “You’re cool, you should get a cool girlfriend.”

“I’m too busy for that, A.”

“Is it because of me?” Aden asked. “Because if so, that’s stupid.”

Lexa was shocked, “Why would you think that?”

“You haven’t been a date in three years.”

“Neither have you,” Lexa argued.

“That’s only because you won’t let me go out after six.”

“Nothing worthwhile happens after six, Aden,” Lexa said seriously. “It’s all crime and mischief.”

“Whatever. Are you picking me up this afternoon?” Aden asked as he shoved a the poptart into his mouth. “‘Cuz I con et a rie ho if yur woken lay.”

Lexa groaned at his manners. “Eat first, talk second.”

After he swallowed, he repeated, “I can get a ride home if you’re working late.”

“Gustus will pick you up and take you home.”

“Home home or his home?” Aden asked.

“What do you think?”

“Lex, c’mon,” Aden complained. “I’m twelve! I can stay at home by myself.”

“No.”  It was simple. It was direct.

“Why not?”

“Are you an adult?”

“Not legally,” Aden answered, familiar with this line of questioning.

“Can you operate a vehicle or pay for a ride if you needed to evacuate quickly?”

Aden thought about this. “I can call an ambulance.”

“An ambulance will only take you to a hospital,” Lexa reasoned.  “Are you injured?”

“Why else would I need to leave the house?” Aden questioned. “Everything is already there. We have fruit cups and an XBox.  Besides, Uncle Gustus lives three doors down  _ and  _ I could totally fight somebody with my sword.”

“I’ll give you points for Uncle Gus being close, but going to a week long fencing camp does not make you skilled in the timeless art of weaponry.”

“I can beat you,” he said smugly.

Lexa pulled up to the curb half a block away from the school, “You’ve made good points. We’ll talk about this again in six months.”

Aden reached in the back and grabbed his backpack. “Swear?” he asked before he climbed out.

“Swear.”

 

 

* * *

 

  
It was no secret that Clarke really felt out of place amongst the group.  She was never sure whether it was because they had all known each other a while and Clarke was new to the farm.  Or, and she had money riding on this option, they all knew she was responsible for the extra workload.  The only people that had really spoken to her at length were Lincoln, who she had already known for years anyway, and Anya.  Anya was a bitch of the highest order and only had things to say about how bad of a job Clarke was doing.  But, words are words and at least Anya spoke to her.   _ And _ she would offer helpful tips on how to “not fuck it up this time.”

Someone who was decidedly not speaking to her was Lexa.  

It had been a week since the tour and Lexa had not even looked her way since.  Yeah, she was busy.  She was the boss.  The head honcho.  The Big Lezowski.  (Clarke had overheard several employees refer to her as such, she did not necessarily condone the nickname.)  Sure, Lexa was the top cheese, but Clarke thought maybe, possibly they had come to an understanding.  Maybe there was an inkling of affability in their time together that could blossom into a relationship that hovered between comfortable acquaintance and distant friendship.

If anything, these developments should cause her to revel in the thunderstorm that was raging outside.  Everyone had gathered in the lobby, unable to work in the current conditions.  The whispers were loaded with promises of an early day.  It seemed Lexa was the deciding factor.  Clarke figured she was either A) a weekend meteorologist and off doing windspeed calculations or B) got her news from the weather channel like all other mere mortals.

Everyone’s hopes and dreams were realized when Lexa entered the lobby and announced that everybody was free to go and to be back in the morning.  Clarke caught Lexa’s eyes land on her for less than millisecond before she was dashing back to the cover of her office.

Clarke waited for two whole minutes until the building cleared.  She deliberated, she stewed, and then she hedged her bets and went for broke.

The knocking was insistent.  One thing Lexa certainly wasn’t expecting after she sent everyone on their way was a knock at her door.

“Yeah?” she called, assuming it was Indra.

Clarke’s disembodied head appearing from behind the opening door made Lexa roll back in her ridiculous throne chair.

“Lexa?”

“Clarke?”

“Hey.”

“You can go,” Lexa said.

“Yeah, I know.”

Lexa’s eyebrow arched in question, “Is there something you need, Clarke?”

“You said if I had any questions...”

“That you could direct them to Lincoln,” Lexa finished.

Clarke suddenly realized that was what Lexa had actually said.  That’s okay, new tactic. “Well, it’s more of a question for you.”

“Okay.”

Fuck.  Clarke had exactly no tree-related questions.  Nothing. Nada.  Then the wind howled and she clumsily forced out, “So the rain, huh? Quite the storm.  When do you think it’s going to let up?”

Lexa shrugged her shoulders in response. “Maybe an hour.  There’s some lighter stuff behind it that could turn into more, but the wind and lightning will probably pass before.”

Clarke eyed her suspiciously, “Are you a weekend meteorologist?”

“No, I just watch the Weather Channel,” Lexa answered.

By this time, Clarke had worked herself into the room.  “Do you think it’ll be dry enough to plant tomorrow?”

“We’ll see.” Lexa was legitimately contemplating the question. “Depends on the rain totals, but I think so.”

“Well, that’s great,” Clarke said as she slipped into the chair in front of Lexa.

Lexa tapped her pen on her desk. “Is the small talk building to a climactic reveal, Clarke, or are you afraid of thunder?”

Clarke deflated, her plan being snuffed out cold. “Okay, I was just wondering why you haven’t talked to me recently.”

“I don’t make it a habit to chat with employees.”

“But,” Clarke held up her hand to point at herself. “I’m not really an employee. I’m a non-employee volunteer-er.”

“I don’t think you need the ‘er.’”

“I  _ know _ that,” Clarke said.

Lexa took a deep breath, “Look, I’m sorry if I somehow offended you.”

“I thought we had a nice time the other day.”

“It was a training exercise,” Lexa said, trying her best to keep it professional.  “Not a date.”

“Well, no shit, Lexa.” Clarke had the audacity to looked perturbed. “I meant, I thought we could be friends, or at the very least, be on friendly terms.”

“You work here,” Lexa reminded her.

“I volunteer here,” Clarke reminded Lexa.

“Fine,” Lexa finally conceded. “Okay, we can be on friendly terms. What exactly do you want from me?”

“My two best friends and I have an apartment in Georgetown.  It’s on Whitehurst, you know the area?”

“Vaguely.”

“Good,” Clarke smiled. “On Fridays, we always gather up and watch our favorite show.  It’s casual, just a reason to hang out.”

“I don’t really hang out, Clarke.”

“I figured as much,” Clarke said. “That’s why I’m inviting you.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Clarke shook her head, “Don’t say no. Think about it.  If you don’t come, okay, but, I’m texting you the address.”  Clarke dug her phone out of her pocket and her finger hovered just about the screen. “Number.”

Instead of giving it, Lexa pulled out her own phone.  She typed out a message and sent it to Clarke’s phone.

Clarke laughed upon receiving it.  “No, you’re not required to bring anything.”

“You’re very brave, Clarke Griffin,” Lexa told her honestly. “And very pushy.”

“I’m no coward, Lexa. One day, I aspire to be the leader of the free world,” Clarke stated with gusto.  “Much like you are the leader of the tree world.”


	6. Potomac

“So is this a friend? Or more than a friend?” Gustus asked while he stirred a pot of noodles for the mac and cheese Aden had requested.

“Friend,” Lexa answered as she passed through the kitchen in search of a pair of jeans to wear that didn’t look like she worked on a tree farm. “Group of people, really.”

“And what’s the friend’s name?”

“None of your business,” she said on her way back through.

“It’s Clarke,” Aden supplied, seated at the kitchen counter. “She talks about her all the time.”

“Do not!” the guys heard from somewhere near Lexa’s bedroom.

“Clarke?” Gustus asked. “This is a girl, isn’t it?”

“Yep,” Aden nodded enthusiastically. “Definitely.”

“Don’t worry, Gus, it’s a woman,” Lexa said as she passed through again, this time looking for the appropriate shirt.  “And she’s a friend.  Maybe, I don’t know that she’s even a friend. She’s just...Clarke.”

“It’s the girl that burned the spruces,” Aden told Gustus in a hushed tone.

“What?” Gustus nearly screamed, his loud booming voice reaching all the corners of the house. “Lex, is that true?”

Lexa walked by carrying two ironic t-shirts, a sweater, a button-down that she hadn’t worn since she was in high school, and something that might have been Aden’s. “Yes, it’s true. It’s Clarke. She started the fire.  She burned the trees. She’s replanting them. All is forgiven.”

“‘Cause she’s hot,” Aden said.

“Is  _ that _ true?” Gustus asked.

Lexa’s head popped around the corner. “I could lie and say, no.  But, let’s just cut to the chase and say, she’s cute, okay? Okay.”

 

* * *

 

  
  


“So you want to order pizza?” Clarke asked aloud. “Everybody likes pizza, right?”

“I’m sure Lexa likes pizza, Clarke,” Raven assured her.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“But that’s what you meant,” Raven clarified.

“Yeah,” Octavia said. “So, uh, Lincoln just texted,” she held up her cell, “and he wants to hit up the new bar downtown.”

“What new bar?” Clarke asked. “He knows it’s Friday.”

“Don’t know the name,” Octavia said, eyes casting a glance at Raven.

“Yeah, yeah,” Raven nodded exaggeratedly. “I know which one you’re talking about.”

“Has he not mentioned it to you?” Octavia asked Clarke.

“Nooo.”

“That’s weird,” she said and looked over to Raven. “Weird, huh?”

“Yeah,” Raven said.  She let out a nervous laugh, “What’s he thinking? It’s Friday.”

“He must have just forgot,” Octavia said. “But he’s invited Bell and Gina, so...”

Clarke looked between them. “What’s happening?”

“Nothing!” They both squealed much too quickly to be believable.

“You’re bailing on me,” Clarke accused Octavia. “Why are you bailing?”

“I’m not!”

“You are.”

“She’s not,” Raven said. “Except, we both are.”

“No!” Clarke yelled. “No.”

“Clarke, hey,” Raven grabbed her the shoulders. “Hey, girl, listen, okay?”

“What?”

“You invited a lady over,” Raven said.  “And that’s okay.”

“I’m trying to make a friend,” Clarke said pitifully.

“You’ve got friends,” Octavia countered. “A ton of them.”

“I’ve never heard you describe any of those friends as ‘Hot Boss,’” Raven said.

“That was a joke!” Clarke told them. “I promise that isn’t what this is about.”

“I’m not really the third wheel type, Clarke,” Raven informed her. “So we’re going to create a diversion.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Make it look like you didn’t invite her over so you can make out all night,” Octavia said.  “We’ve got your back.”

“We’re taking care of you,” Raven winked.

“So that you can get taken care of,” Octavia winked some more.

“No, no, no,” Clarke nearly begged. “Please don’t leave. I swear it’s not like that.  I just wanted to be nice and hang out and introduce her to my friends. You know, so we could all be friends.”

All the arguing became null and void very quickly, though.  Monty and Jasper were through the door just seconds later.

“Are you ready?” Jasper was already asking impatiently.

“Yes,” Raven said. “Let me grab a jacket.”

“I heard you had a date,” Monty said to Clarke.

“I do not have a date,” Clarke refuted. “I swear.”

“Man date or girl date?” Jasper asked.

“It’s none of your fucking business,” Octavia said as she hockey-checked him on her way through the room. “Leave her alone.”

“I can’t be curious?” Jasper continued.

“You’re not, so stop,” Monty said with conviction.

“So a girl?” Jasper asked again.

“Shut up, Jasper!” came from all different directions.

“Raven!” Clarke heard Miller call through the left open door.

“She’s getting a jacket,” Clarke said, waving him in.  “Hey Miller.”

“Hi,” he said. His boyfriend trailed behind attached to his arm.

“Hey!” Clarke greeted the boyfriend, but never could remember his name.

“Gre-at,” Monty muttered. “Bryan.”

“Bryan!” Clarke pointed at him. “Yep, that’s it.”

Behind Miller’s boyfriend, Harper snuck in as well.

“Jasper, you said two minutes!” she called. “Where’s Rae?”

“She’s coming,” Octavia answered.  “Where’s Monroe?”

“Waiting in the car. She said she feels like death, we may have to drop her back off,” Harper answered. She hooked her thumb over her shoulder, “Lincoln’s behind me, too.”

“He is?”

“I am,” he said as he walked in.

“I’m ready!” Raven announced as she returned from finding a jacket. “Who’s driving?”

“I can drive,” Lincoln said. “And Bell said he was driving.”

“Have you seen Bell yet?” Octavia asked, looking around herself.

“He’s probably hanging upside down in a cave or some shit,” Raven said. “Fucking jackass.”

Clarke laughed at that. Raven’s disdain always cracked her up. As she was turning to tell Raven just that, she noticed that in the midst of her friends, Lexa had snuck just inside the door.  

“Hey!” she said brightly to the newest arrival. “I’m glad you came.”

Lexa seemed nervous. “Yeah, I didn’t know it would be this many people.”

“It’s not,” Clarke said.

“Lexa,” Raven stuck her hand out to shake, effectively cutting Clarke off. “Hi. I’m Raven Reyes. One half of Clarke’s pair of best friends.”

“Hi, Raven,” Lexa shook her hand awkwardly. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you!” Raven said with a huge smile. “I wish Clarke would have told us her plans sooner, she’s so silly sometimes.”

“Oh?” Lexa looked at Clarke, who just stood there frozen.

“Yeah, we spontaneously planned another outing...uh, yesterday...spontaneously yesterday,” Raven laughed way too loudly. “To celebrate.”

“Yep, celebrate,” Clarke said, trying to keep up.

“Harper,” Raven blurted the name of the first person she saw.

“Yeah?” Harper asked.

“It’s a celebration,” Raven continued, nodding purposely at Harper, “a congratulations because...”

“Uh...because...my cats got married.”

“Exactly,” Raven said as she gave Harper a good hard shove. “Go back to the car, now.”

“Congratulations,” Lexa said half-heartedly as Harper left confused.

“This is O.” Raven elbowed the brunette to her right, trying for the save. “Octavia Blake.”

“Hi,” Octavia waved.

“Lexa Beckett,” Lexa introduced herself and studied the girl for a second more. “I think we’ve met briefly before at the farm.  You’re Lincoln’s girlfriend, right?”

“Yes,” Octavia smiled. “We have met once, like, two years ago.”

“Yeah.” Lexa knew that she had seen her before.  She had never seen the latest pair to show up at the door, though.

“Finally!” Octavia said, sidestepping Lexa.

“Is this everybody?” Raven asked the group. “Can we go now?”

Everybody seemed to answer at once, but nobody seemed to move.  Lexa was totally confused, too, because she didn’t know they were going anywhere.

“I’m so sorry about your Christmas trees,” a young man to Lexa’s left said quietly. “It was my birthday. I feel somewhat responsible for what happened.”

“Oh...”

“We’re not talking about that tonight, Monty,” Clarke said, getting in between them.

“Hey, Lexa,” Lincoln patted her on the back. “Nice to see you away from work.”

“Nice to be...away from work,” Lexa said unsure of his sincerity.

“Have you met Bellamy?” Lincoln asked. Before she could answer, Lincoln was pulling Bellamy over. “This is Bellamy Blake, O’s brother.”

“Hi Bellamy,” Lexa said to him.

“Lexa?” Bellamy thought for a second. “Clarke’s Lexa?”

“Not my Lexa,” Clarke said quickly. “She’s her own Lexa.”

Lexa noticed the odd grin on his face.

“Oh, okay,” he said. He nudged Clarke before putting his arm around another young lady standing beside him.  “Lexa, this is my fiancee, Gina.”

“Hi,” Lexa said to her as well.

“Okay,” Clarke tried to disengage them from the crowd forming as she gently pushed Lexa out of the middle of her friends. “I’m sure Lexa is tired of pretending to care who you are.”

“Troops out!” Raven yelled and within seconds the room was quiet.

“Wow,” Lexa said. “Those are  _ your _ people, huh?”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“So what’s this called again?” Lexa asked as she leaned further into the couch, eating a slice of the cheese pizza that Clarke had ordered.  The box set between them on the couch, creating a nice friendly barrier.

“Teenage Apocalypse,” Clarke answered between bites.

“Creative titling,” Lexa joked.  “So this is your favorite show?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, wholly focused on the characters on screen, even though it was just the title sequence.  Well, okay. It wasn’t that she was focused on the show as much as she was nervous about focusing on anything else.  She checked on Lexa. “Hey, I’m sorry if this is weird.”

“It’s fine,” Lexa said. “I’m just starting in the middle.”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“Oh no.” Clarke placed her pizza on the table and found the remote to pause the television. “I meant this. It only being the two of us.  I didn’t realize that O and Rae had made plans tonight.”

“It’s cool,” Lexa said. “Unless you feel weird.”

“No.”

“‘Cause I can go,” Lexa offered. “If you wanted to go hang out with them...it’s not everyday cats get married, or whatever.”

“I don’t!” Clarke said before Lexa could make a move to leave. “I’m perfectly happy here with you.”

“Good. So,” Lexa pointed at the screen. “Fill me in.”

“Alright,” Clarke sat up straighter on the couch. “A group of teenagers survive the apocalypse-”

“What kind?” Lexa asked.

“Of apocalypse?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh,” Clarke thinks for a second. “I’m not sure it’s specified.”

“No nuclear war?  Zombies? Space aliens?” Lexa continues to stare at her. “I feel like I need to be in the mindset for the specific apocalypse. I need to know what they’re fighting against, to mentally prepare.  Is it biblical? ‘Cause that one just might get me.”

“I think you could hold your own in any sort apocalypse,” Clarke mused.

Lexa smiled, “Thanks.”

“Definitely non-specified to this point,” Clarke explained. “They’re just fighting different factions of each other for land and food.”

“Hm,” Lexa did not seem impressed. Either that or she was just finishing off her pizza.  Clarke was pretty sure it was unimpressed.

“It’s a character study, though,” Clarke tried to regain her interest. “Like how far will they go to protect their own?”

“I can relate.”

“Okay,” Clarke brightened. “It gets better.”

“Sell it to me,” Lexa invited her to do so as she leaned against the arm of the couch and angled herself toward the other girl. “Sell it to me hard.”

“Okay,” Clarke said. “There’s this girl, Graham.”

“Graham,” Lexa repeatedly dutifully. “And what’s Graham up to?”

“Graham becomes the leader of this particular faction.”

“Of teenagers?”

“Yes,” Clarke said.  “So most of the first season is Graham trying to unify her group and get them to fight against the others.”

“The others are bad?” Lexa asked.

“Some are, some aren’t.” Clarke picked up the remote and flipped around in her palm. “Mostly they’re just hungry.”

“Understandable,” Lexa said, biting her lip.

“So, I’m not saying it’s all about relationships or anything-”

“But,” Lexa caught her drift, “There’s some shipping, right?”

“At the end of the first season, Graham’s best friend kinda lays it out there that she’s into her.”

“Graham’s best friend is a girl?”

“Yeah, Roxy.”

“Roxy and Graham,” Lexa said, memorizing. “We’re rooting for them?”

“Graham Cracker,” Clarke said.

“What’s that?”

“Ship name.”

“Why Graham Cracker?” Lexa asked, trying to work out how that fit.

“Graham is Graham,” Clarke said. “And Roxy is the only white girl on the show.  Plus, she’s like super salty.”

“I’m getting more interested, Clarke.”

“Oh, just wait,” Clarke moved the pizza box, so she could sit cross legged facing Lexa. “So, second season, they’ve taken the hills faction and claimed the old water tower, right.”

“Yeah...”

“And the teenagers tell them, ‘hey, if you want to live just become one of us,’” Clarke goes on. “And the leader of that group is May.  She’s a badass mofo.”

“I love badass mofos.”

“Turns out Graham has a thing for May.” Clarke clapped with joy at all the queer representation.  “It’s Gay.”

“That is gay.”

“Yeah, but Graham and May,” Clarke spelled it out in the air. “They’re Gay. Together they’re Gay.”

Lexa nodded slowly. “That tends to be what happens when there’s two people of the same gender in a relationship, Clarke.”

“No, I know,” Clarke laughed. “Their portmanteau is Gay.”

“Ahh,” Lexa smiled, finally getting it. “So, it’s a full on lesbian love triangle? Damn, I thought there could only be one lesbian on television at a time.”

“Technically, it’s a lesbian, bisexual, seriously questioning love triangle,” Clarke said. “But all ladies who have their eye on other ladies.”

“Alright, then.” Lexa settled in for viewing, “Let’s do this.”

Forty-three minutes later, Clarke turned to find that Lexa had a very pleased smile on her face.

“So?”

“Can I just say I love Graham Cracker,” Lexa told her. “Seriously, I want s’more.”

“Ha!” Clarke playfully flipped her off and lightly kicked her thigh. “Alright, you’re hilarious.”

“It’s cool,” Lexa said. “I like the show. It was fun watching with you.”

“It  _ was _ fun.”

“Yep.”

Clarke dug the remote out of the couch cushions again and turned the volume down.  She carefully pushed it onto the side table and readjusted herself in the seat, legs sprawled across the couch.  “So...”

“Yeah?” Lexa asked.

“Did you have any other plans tonight?”

“No,” Lexa answered honestly. “I usually don’t.”

“You don’t get out much?”

“Uh,” Lexa weighed whether to tell Clarke the reason.  She decided to just do it. “No, I don’t. I can’t, really.  I have a twelve year old at home.”

Clarke’s nose scrunched and she leaned in. “What? How do you have a twelve year old?”

“My brother.”

“Oh!” Clarke said. Then it hit her. Lexa was raising her brother. “OH! Shit!”

“Yeah.”

“That’s a lot to have on your plate,” Clarke said needlessly. “Wow.”

“It gets easier as he gets older,” Lexa laughed.

“Where is he now?”

“With my uncle,” Lexa answered. “Aden actually told me to get out more, so...I’m out.”

“Aden.”

“Yep, that’s my brother.”

“Do you have a picture?” Clarke asked, suddenly she was very interested in everything about Lexa’s life.

“Yeah,” Lexa said, picking her phone up from the table. She thumbed several apps and pics before she presented the screen to Clarke. “This is us last summer at an Orioles game.”

Clarke seemed to study the picture.  Aden was cute as hell.  He had dirty, blonde hair that stuck out under a baseball cap.  He looked happily attached to the back of his big sister.  His arms crossed around her neck and their faces pressed together.  Lexa, looked much the same as always.  Her hair was pulled back and there was a slight smirk on her lips.  Clarke noticed that her eyes looked just as bright green in the picture as they did in the morning sunlight.  It was a little strange that she felt butterflies with that realization.

“Cute kid,” Clarke said, handing the device back.

“Thanks.” Lexa looked at the picture for a second before putting her phone down. “Do you have any siblings?”

“No,” Clarke said. She stretched just a little more so that her toes barely skimmed Lexa’s knee. “It’s just me.”

“Oh.” Lexa leaned into the touch ever so slightly. “Did you ever wish for any?”

“Everyday,” Clarke laughed. “Just to have someone to take the pressure off, though. My mom...”

“Yeah,” Lexa said, already knowing.

“Lexa,” Clarke said out loud, almost wistfully. “Is that short for something?”

“Alexandria.”

“Why aren’t you Alex?”

“Because my dad was,” Lexa answered the question and then nervously scratched at her neck.  She didn’t really want to get into ‘parents’ stuff.  That made her sad and this wasn’t a moment she wanted to be sad.

Clarke must have realized it because she veered away from it.  “What’s your middle name?”

“What’s yours?”

Clarke grinned, teeth showing. “I asked you first. Is it that embarrassing?”

“It’s Woods,” Lexa said. “It’s my mother’s maiden name.”

“Is there anything about you that isn’t tree-like?”

“No,” Lexa chuckled. “What’s yours, Clarke?”

“Allison.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,” Clarke said. “There’s nothing wrong with anything right now.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


It was well after two in the morning when Octavia and Raven tiptoed back into the apartment the next morning.  As soon as Raven opened the door, she saw the glow of the television and noticed two lumps on the couch.

“Shit,” she whispered to Octavia. “She’s still here.”

“Are they dressed?” Octavia asked.

Raven made her way over as quietly as possible and looked over the back of the couch.  They were both asleep.  Clarke was rolled up in a ball, lightly snoring, and her head was lying in Lexa’s lap.  Lexa looked to have her anchored there with an arm draped across Clarke’s shoulder.

“This is cute,” Octavia said as she fished out her cell phone.  “I’m taking a picture.”

“Turn the sound off,” Raven reminded her. “Don’t want to wake them up.”

“Do you think they’d get mad?” Octavia asked right before she clicked it.

“It’s a first date picture,” Raven said. “Who cares? One day, they’ll be glad they have it.”


	7. Bury Your Gays

“We look comfortable,” Clarke commented as she gawked at the picture on Octavia’s phone. “Really comfortable.”

“You were snoring,” Raven let her know. “So, yeah, you were pretty comfortable.”

“Send it to me?” Clarke asked nicely.

“Yeah,” Octavia said as she typed away on her phone. Just after a little swooshing sound, she proclaimed it done.  “You both took off Saturday morning, so I missed the scoop.”

“There’s no scoop,” Clarke said. “We went to work.”

“What happened Friday night?” Raven asked.

“Nothing, we talked and watched Teenage Apocalypse. That was it.”

“Nothing else?” Octavia looked suspicious.

“Nope.”

“And nothing’s happened since then?”

“When?” Clarke was getting snappy. “When was something supposed to ‘happen?’” She made air quotes around ‘happen’ just in case they didn’t catch her sarcasm.  “I’ve been studying my ass off for the last two days except for the short amount of time on the phone with Roan yesterday.”

“Did you tell her about the job?” Raven needled Clarke a bit.

“There’s no reason to tell her,” Clarke said flatly as she crunched into a granola bar. “I mean, I’ll tell her because I need the day off from the farm.  But, it’s not a big deal or anything.”

“It’s in Vermont,” Raven reminded her.

“And it’s six months,” Octavia said. “That’s a long time to be gone when you’re in a new relationship.”

“Whoa!” Clarke nearly choked on her oats and honey. “Nobody’s in a relationship. We haven’t even been on a date.”

Raven tapped Clarke’s message icon and blew up the picture of her and Lexa. “Date.”

“No,” Clarke argued. “We didn’t leave the apartment. It wasn’t even Netflix and Chill, it was cable and mediocre pizza.”

“Date!” Raven said again, louder, for the people in the back.

But, it wasn’t. Was it?

Clarke thought about it the whole drive from her apartment to the tree farm.  What was usually a peaceful 40 minute zip down the highway, was anything but.  Why would Raven and Octavia think that her and Lexa were dating?  They barely knew each other.  Sure, Clarke thought she was attractive.  Yes, she did call Lexa ‘Hot Boss’ more than once.  It was a joke.  All in jest, of course.  Okay, it was really cute when she did that annoyed little smirk thing.  And the way her work jeans hugged her ass was A++.  But, c’mon, Lexa wouldn’t even speak to her for the longest time. Although, even though Lexa wasn’t speaking to her didn’t mean Clarke wasn’t talking about Lexa.  All the times she had dropped a mention came flooding back to her.  Clarke liked her. Fu-uuck.

  
  


* * *

 

 

 

Lexa’s eyes strayed for the hundredth time to the big clock hanging on the wall of the employees’ lounge.  Her feet kicked aimlessly as she sat on one of the break tables.  Indra and Anya had cornered her for an impromptu state-of-affairs meeting and she’d been stuck since.  She really wasn’t paying a bit of attention considering her mind wouldn’t stop reminding her that Clarke probably should have been here by now.  Lexa had been in and out of the lounge for the last half hour just to see if she could catch a glimpse of her, before they’d found her.  She thought she would maybe “accidentally” run into the blonde and share some words this morning.  A daily dose of Clarke, if one was so inclined.  It’s perfectly acceptable behavior.  But not so acceptable if she was flanked by these two.

“...I think by April 15th, we’ll be completely replanted. Lexa...”

With the mention of her name, Lexa faced Indra. “Yeah?”

“That’s right on the timeline, right?”

“That’s about the time we lose the college kids anyway,” Anya said. “Damn, I can’t wait for most of those little shits to be gone.”

“They weren’t so bad this year,” Lexa said quickly. “There’s a few that I’d like to get back in November, so don’t piss them off.”

“I’m all for ‘em when I need ‘em,” Anya replied. “But I’ll be glad when it’s back to just Lincoln, Nyko, and I doing light maintenance.”

“And you don’t have to drive out here everyday,” Indra said to Lexa. “You can stay in town and take care of the candle shop, the dry cleaners, and A Thousand Cuts.”

“Nah,” Lexa dismissed the idea. “The smell of the deli makes me nauseous.  It has since I was a kid.”

“That many kinds of meat on display would make anyone nauseous,” Anya said.

“Yeah,” Lexa agreed. “Besides Gustus loves it there.  The guy lives and dies by A Thousand Cuts.”

“True,” Indra said. “He’s really the heart of that place.”

“And Nia’s got everything squared away at the dry cleaners,” Lexa went on. “She has no confidence in anybody coming in behind her.”

“Even you?” Anya asked.

“Especially me,” Lexa said. “And the woman really is a marketing genius.  Who would have thought changing the slogan to ‘we can get blood out of anything’ would cause such an uptick in sales.”

“What about the candle shop?” Indra asked. “I thought you were quite fond of it.”

Lexa smiled gleefully, “It’s magical.”

She probably could have waxed poetic for hours about the correlation between candle scents and their direct effect on moods and happiness, but she saw Clarke rush into the lounge and was momentarily distracted.

“Oh, look, Clarke of the Hoya clan is honoring us with her presence,” Lexa said as Clarke approached.

“Hoya saxa,” Clarke said proudly.

“I never did understand that,” Lexa told her.

“Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll explain it to you,” Clarke said, probably flirtier than was appropriate.

Lexa couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. “I look forward to the explanation.”

“Good morning, Miss Griffin,” Indra said loudly, albeit rudely as well.

“Indra,” Clarke greeted her with a smile that anything but genuine. “Good morning.”

“Cutting it a bit close today,” Anya remarked as she tapped her watch.

Clarke completely ignored her and spoke to Lexa. “Can we talk in private?”

Lexa slid off the table she was perched on slowly. “Uh, yeah.”

They silently walked toward Lexa’s office and when Clarke passed through into the room behind her, Lexa shut the door.  

“How can I help you, Clarke?” Lexa asked, doing her best to sound calm.

Clarke walked all the way to Lexa’s desk, leaning her butt against it. “I just wanted you to know that I had fun the other night.”

“Me, too,” Lexa said, still obviously uneasy.

“We didn’t really talk about it,” Clarke said. “I didn’t know if that meant you didn’t want to or...”

“We can talk about it.”

“I think I slept on you.”

“I know you did,” Lexa said. “Is that a problem?”

“Maybe we could do it again?” Clarke rushed out. “Not me sleeping on you...Unless that’s how it turns out. I’m not planning to, though.”

“It would be fine if you did,” Lexa said, taking a step closer to Clarke.

“Maybe we could do it again this weekend?”

“I’m free,” Lexa said way too eagerly.

“K,” Clarke smiled.

“Sounds great.” Lexa took another small, tentative step forward.  She was just nearly in Clarke’s space.

“And...” Clarke stood straight. “On a completely unrelated note, not to be linked in any way, I kinda need a favor.”

Lexa stepped backwards, her mind already racing with possibilities. “What’s the favor?”

“I have to fly to Vermont for an interview next week,” Clarke said. “I’ll be out of town next Tuesday, and I know I’m  _ supposed _ to be here. I know that’s the agreement, but-”

“Alright,” Lexa said, trying not to get too invasive. “Take all the time you need. Take the weekend off.  So you can get everything in order.”

“Really? That would be great,” Clarke said. “I’ll be back on Thursday.”

“Okay.”

“For work,” Clarke clarified. “So professionally, I’m back Thursday.  On a personal note, I’ll be back in town Tuesday night.”

“Okay,” Lexa said again.

“Just so you know.”

Lexa walked around to her chair and sat down, “Thanks for telling me. Professionally and personally.”  
  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

The thing about Lexa is she let things drive her crazy.  She was a thinker.  She thought all day long about things that were mostly out of her control.  Lexa was also a googler.  She googled everything.  Today, when she probably should have been working, she googled “Why Vermont?” and she was thirty seven minutes into the ‘See and Do’ section of Vermont.org and had already ordered a twelve dollar relocation packet when she heard someone clearing their throat quite obnoxiously at her door.

The woman standing there was a stranger.  She was older, but very familiar somehow.

“Can I help you?” Lexa asked.

“I was told that this was the office of Lexa Beckett?” the woman said. “The owner?”

“I’m Lexa Beckett.” Lexa stood and waved her inside.

“Really?” The woman took a few steps.  “I didn’t know you were so young.”

“I’m old enough,” Lexa said, already slightly offended. “Anything in particular you need?”

“Yes,” the woman walked toward Lexa’s desk, hand extended. “I’m Abby Griffin, I think you know my daughter.”

Lexa shook her hand before slowly nodding. “Yes.”

“She’s been working here for the last month.”

“Actually, she’s volunteering,” Lexa said, just in case this conversation was about to get dicey.

“Yes,” Abby rolled her eyes. “Volunteering, of course.”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa sat back down in her throne chair, motioning for Abby to also take a seat. “I’m not sure what that has to do with you.”

“Nothing,” Abby admitted. “But, you seem like a smart girl, Ms. Beckett.  You and I both know it’s ridiculous for Clarke to be out here wasting her time on a Christmas tree farm when she should be back at Georgetown working on her studies.”

“Did she ask you to come here?” Lexa asked, knowing the answer, but fearing the worst.

“No,” Abby said. “She thinks she’s being noble by serving out this sentence.”

“It’s hardly a sentence.”

“But, you are punishing her for a crime, correct?”

“She’s helping me out for losses incurred by a careless mistake she made,” Lexa said. “And I’m helping her by accepting her volunteer work as repayment.  I was informed by her friend, and my employee, Lincoln, of her future aspirations.  I didn’t want to involve any agency that might shed a negative light on her later.”

“That’s very decent of you.”

“I’m pretty damn decent,” Lexa said.

“Then help me out as well and give me a dollar amount.”

“A dollar amount for what, Abby?”

Abby pulled her checkbook out of her purse and clicked her pen. “A dollar amount for the damage Clarke caused.  I’ll pay it.  And I’ll pay you to replace her, as I’m sure her tasks will fall to someone who is less likely to do  _ volunteer _ work.”

“No.”

Abby re-clicked her pen. “No?”

“No,” Lexa said. “I’m not giving you a dollar amount. I’m not taking your money.  And, frankly, if Clarke wants out of the arrangement, that’s fine. She can go.”

“And?”

“And, nothing.” Lexa leaned back with her arms crossed. “Free and clear.”

Abby closed her checkbook and narrowed her eyes on Lexa. “What’s going on with the two of you?”

“Nothing.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Abby said. “Because, Lexa, I know Clarke. I know how she operates.  And I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if she’s set her sights on you.”

“What does that even mean?” Lexa wondered aloud.

“Clarke is the most important thing in the world to me,” Abby said. “But, like you said, she’s careless-”

“I did  _ not _ say that.”

“Yes, you did,” Abby pointed out. “She made a careless mistake. That’s what Clarke does.  She’s reckless.  She doesn’t mean to be, but she is.  She’s reckless with everything.  And she can never make up her mind about anything.  Her career, her life.” Abby met Lexa’s eyes with a cold, hard stare. “Her sexuality.”

“That’s none of my business,” Lexa said.

Abby let a sarcastic laugh, “I wasn’t born yesterday, dear.”

“That’s obvious, ma’am,” Lexa retorted. “And despite the fact that you think I was, you’d be mistaken. Clarke’s personal life is her own business.  If she chooses to make that my business, then okay. But, if I am or am not involved with her personally is certainly none of yours.”

“Fair enough.”

“ _ And _ ,” Lexa wasn’t done. “Clarke is not in any way, shape, or form careless.  She made a mistake.  It was unfortunate for both of us.  But, Clarke has taken responsibility for that mistake.  She’s been dedicated to righting her wrong from the beginning of this whole ordeal.  She’s been here everyday she’s been scheduled and worked right alongside everyone else.  At the same time, she’s kept up her studies, of which you’re so worried about, and she’s continuing with her efforts to find employment after graduation. So...” Lexa stood up, “you can pretty much suck it.”

Abby stood and made her leave without so much as another word.

“Yeah,” Lexa said when she was gone. After a self-congratulatory moment, she dropped back down into her seat with a thud. “Fuck me, I just told Clarke’s mom to suck it.”

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
  
  


This time Clarke had ordered Chinese food.  The food was different, but the show was the same. It was another Friday night, and while Clarke hadn’t intentionally set out to do a redux of their first “hang out,” when Lexa had excitedly mentioned that she’d binge-watched the entire first season of Teenage Apocalypse and was stoked for the episode, Clarke had agreed without complaint.

The seating arrangements were a bit different.  They hadn’t sat on opposite sides of the couch this time.  Lexa was angled toward Clarke, her elbow resting on the center cushion.  That just so happened to be where Clarke had decided to rest her head, so that her legs hung off the arms of the sofa.

Lexa had been innocently twirling Clarke’s hair around her finger when she suddenly looked her way.

“You don’t think they’d kill off Roxy do you?”

Lexa frowned, “There hasn’t been an episode yet that Roxy hasn’t telegraphed her impending violent death, Clarke.”

“I know, and I’m worried.”

“You like Gay better anyway,” Lexa said. “You just said so five minutes ago.  Without Graham Cracker, Gay is free to be as gay as Gay can be.”

“I know, but I don’t want Roxy to die,” Clarke said. “I don’t want to win by default. That sucks, who wants that?”

Lexa sighed, “Plenty of people.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Well, victory stands on the back of sacrifice, Clarke.”

“That makes no sense in this context, Lexa,” Clarke said. “You’re speaking in cliches.”

“Fine,” Lexa tapped Clarke’s forehead with her finger. “I don’t want Roxy to die either because she’s awesome and she should get the girl.  I mean, look at her, she’s been pining away for Graham forever. One hundred percent heart-eyes.”

“I’ll admit Graham has been a little dense.”

“And sure, May is cool,” Lexa was attempting to be fair. “I like her. She is a badass mofo, but she’s so...I don’t know...she just doesn’t love Graham like Graham deserves.”

“Aww,” Clarke beamed. “You’re a softy, Lexa Beckett!”

“No.”

Clarke tugged at her hair gently, “I think you are.”

“I’m not.”

The show was barely over when Lexa started to get noticeably antsy.  She sat up and positioned herself away from Clarke and definitely looked like she was trying to work up to something.

“Why did you move?” Clarke asked curiously. “There’s much more potential for fun with you over here.”

“I know,” Lexa said. “Which is why I moved.”

“Oh,” Clarke was disappointed.

“Because I have to tell you something that I should have told you days ago, but I was afraid you’d be mad at me,” Lexa said.

“What?” Dread was filling her at a rate that couldn’t be divided evenly.

“I met your mother.”

“So soon?” Clarke tried to make a nervous joke, it didn’t land well.

“She came to see me at the office,” Lexa explained. “She wanted to write me a check so that you didn’t have to work at the farm.”

Clarke listened and took that in solemnly. “What did you tell her?”

“That I wasn’t taking her money and that you could leave if you want,” Lexa said. “And you can.  I’m not holding you to it-”

“But, you should,” Clarke argued. “You would make anyone else adhere to what we decided.”

“So...”

“So?”

“I would,” Lexa agreed. “But, nobody else is you, so...you can do what you want.”

“I  _ want _ to do the right thing by you,” Clarke said. “You did me a favor, don’t think that I don’t know that.”

“And I’m acknowledging that and also saying that if you so choose, your service can be over.”

“I’m calling her!” Clarke popped up and had picked up her phone before Lexa knew what was happening.

“No, don’t do that,” Lexa said. “It’s not about that. I just felt like I should tell you.”

“You’re right,” Clarke said, dialing furiously. “You were right to tell me.”

“Clarke, sometimes you have to concede a battle to win a war.”

“Stop,” Clarke said. “I’m not letting this go.”

“Clarke...”

“Hello mother,” Clarke said into her cell.

Lexa wasn’t sure that she should be listening in on the conversation, so she wandered away to the kitchen.  Which wasn’t far enough.  So, she walked up the stairs, towards the bathroom.  She could hear Clarke yelling over the sound of the water running while she was washing her hands.  That’s probably not a good sign.  She sat on the edge of the bathtub to wait it out and suddenly had the urge to check out Clarke’s shampoo.  She had forgotten that three ladies lived here.  Probably wouldn’t be so easy to figure it out without sniffing them all.  And, honestly, the last thing she wanted was to be caught in the bathroom with her nose all up in Raven’s shampoo if Clarke decided to come find her.  That would be awkward.  She imagined the scenario.  She imagined what she could possibly say to make that okay.  She imagined what Clarke looked like in the shower.  Whoa! Stop. Back it up. She should get out of here.

She found Clarke sitting on the bottom step, staring at the phone in her hand.

“You okay?” Lexa called as she made her way down.

“Yeah,” Clarke answered, not looking up.

Lexa quickly dropped to the last step and settled in beside her. “Did that make you feel better?”

When Clarke looked at her, Lexa’s heart dropped.  Clarke’s eyes were red and puffy and she wiped a stray tear off her face. “No.”

Lexa pulled Clarke into her without thinking. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You were right.”

“Not if it made you cry.”

“You didn’t,” Clarke said. “She did.”

“What did she say?”

“That I’m a fuck up,” Clarke answered.  “Well, not like that, but basically.”

“You’re not.”

“She thinks I make horrible decisions,” Clarke recalled the conversation. “Which is nothing new.  But, she’s worried that I’m not taking my last month of school seriously enough. And...she thinks we’re sleeping together and that’s factoring into my decision to work at the farm.”

Lexa pushed Clarke’s hair out of her face, “We both know the truth.”

Clarke met Lexa’s eyes. “We may not be, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to.”

“Okay...” Lexa said, leaning into her.

“Which makes me question myself.” Clarke stated. She pulled away slowly.

The action made Lexa snap back like a rubberband. She hefted herself off the step and away from Clarke. “I should probably go.”

“Don’t go,” Clarke followed her. “I didn’t mean it like it sounded.”

“I have to,” Lexa said, gathering her things. “Gus has Aden and I should get some sleep.  It’s been a long day.”

“Lex...”

It was no use, Lexa was already turning the doorknob.  She only looked back briefly, “Good luck with your interview, Clarke.”


	8. Kevin Costner and a Barrel of Untruths

“So what’s wrong with you?” Aden asked as he maneuvered his player downfield. The movement over his control pad was fast and easy, like he could do it for a living. 

Lexa, on the other hand, did actual work for a living.  So, her FIFA skills were sorely lacking.  Aden liked to remind her how much she sucked all day, every day.  Or, at least on lazy Sunday mornings when he could finally wear her down enough to play video games with him.

“Damn,” she whispered as she missed yet another shot on goal. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re playing even worse than usual,” Aden informed her. “Uncle Gustus is getting better than you.”

“Remind me to congratulate him on such a monumental achievement,” Lexa said, pushing buttons like a wild woman.

Aden waited a moment before saying, “I know you’re lying.”

“Sarcasm is not necessarily lying.”

“Not about that,” Aden said, scoring without so much a blink in celebration. “Something’s wrong.  You came home really early Friday night and then you stayed home from work on Saturday.  And you never stay home from work unless I’ve got the flu or the time you had chicken pox.”

“I took a day off, A,” Lexa stated. “No big deal. Did we not have fun yesterday?”

“You made me watch all The Hunger Games movies in a row and kept telling me if I was Prim and you were Katniss that you would have already prepared me to slaughter everyone and not give two damns.”

“Yeah,” Lexa was a little ashamed of that. “That was probably a bit extreme.”

“What happened with Clarke?”

“Nothing,” Lexa answered, but he could see the clench of her jaw.  She always did that when there was something bothering her.

“So you were just hanging out Friday?” Aden asked. “Like just watching television?”

“Yep.”

“That’s lame.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your sister isn’t that exciting,” Lexa said, angling up to take a shot.  She gave away her move when she jerked her whole body into it.

“I already knew that.”

“Watch it,” she warned playfully. She kicked his shin in reality and then tackled his player in simulation.

“When do I get to meet her?” Aden asked. “Clarke, I mean.”

“It’s a bit too early to be meeting the family,” Lexa told him.

That didn’t sit well with Aden at all. “Well, I overheard you telling Gus that you met her mom, so what’s that about? Do you not want me to?”

“I didn’t meet her on purpose and she wasn’t very nice.”

“‘Cause you’re gay?”

“No,” Lexa turned to him. “Because she’s a bitch.”

“Well,” Aden scored again without much effort. “If Clarke is going to be your girlfriend, I need to meet her first.  I have to decide if she’s good enough for you.”

Lexa watched the clock hit 90 minutes and knocked her controller against the table. “As much as I’m flattered by your recent interest in my social life...I hate to say it, but she’s not going to be my girlfriend, A.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Lexa took a gulp, not wanting to give away how much her feelings were hurt. “I’m not really sure she likes me like that.  I think so, but I don’t know if it’s enough for us to be...girlfriends or whatever.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

Lexa shrugged. “Well, she’s about to graduate and maybe move away. She has a job interview and she’s got some other stuff going on. Bad timing.”

“So, that’s what’s wrong with you,” Aden figured it out. “Did she say no? Did you even ask her?”

“Ask her what?”

“To go out with you?”

“No,” Lexa chuckled. “I didn’t ask.”

“You should have asked,” Aden said wisely. “If you like her, you should ask.”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  
It really was stupid to take the day off and Lexa was reminded of that when she drove out to the tree farm on Sunday afternoon.  She had settled Aden in with Gustus with strict orders to finish all of his homework by the time she got back home.  She figured it would be three hours, tops.

When she pulled into the lot at the tree farm, she noticed that Lincoln’s truck was there.  That wasn’t exactly a huge surprise.  He was doing some painting in the warehouse and Anya had let him borrow her key on occasion.  

It was a surprise, however, when she walked by the employees’ lounge on her way to her office and she noticed one Clarke Griffin asleep in an old, ratty recliner that Indra had donated to the employees two summers ago.  She stopped, fully intending to wake Clarke up and question her thoroughly, but she sort of got caught up in watching her sleep.

She may have been able to get with it if Clarke hadn’t shifted in her slumber and that hadn’t startled Lexa so much that she dropped her phone.  The clanking woke Clarke up and she nearly screamed at seeing Lexa awkwardly hovering close.

“Shit!” Clarke said. “You scared me.”

“You scared me, first,” Lexa claimed, scooping down to pick up her phone and dust it off.  “What are you doing here?”

“Here?” Clarke slapped her palms against the recliner.  “Or here,” she gestured around her to signify the tree farm in general.

“Uh, how ‘bout both?”

“I was taking a nap, because I was bored,” Clarke started. “But, I came up here with Lincoln because I thought you might show up and you don’t seem to be answering any of my texts.”

“That’s mighty stalkerish of you, Clarke.”

“Ignoring me is mighty childish of you, Lexa.”

Lexa turned and headed out of the lounge. “I wasn’t ignoring you. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Me?” Clarke said, hot on her heels. “You’re the most dramatic person I know.  Leaving like that the other night was really shitty.”

Lexa unlocked her door and continued into her office. “Why aren’t you in Vermont?”

“Because I don’t leave until tomorrow,” Clarke said. “I told you that, you know that.”

“Shouldn’t you be packing?”

“Are you mad at me or something?” Clarke asked. “Because this is a really good opportunity for me.  And I have a pretty solid connection there with my friend, Roan, so I have a really legitimate shot at getting this job.”

“That’s great,” Lexa said and she really meant it. “That’s amazing for you. I’m wishing you all the good luck.”

“I could be a staffer for a gubernatorial campaign,” Clarke continued to explain. “Roan called  _ me _ and I’d be an idiot to pass it up.  And if Emerson actually wins, then it could be long-term.  I could get my foot in the door. This kind of thing doesn’t just land on your doorstep every day, Lexa.”

“I understand, Clarke,” she said calmly.  “It sounds like it’s going to be great experience for you.”

“It’s not like I won’t be here to finish replanting,” Clarke said. “Even if I get the job, they won’t expect me until May after graduation.  That’s almost two more months completely at your disposal.”

“Clarke, you know I don’t care about that,” Lexa said, looking her in the eye.

“Then what, Lexa?” Clarke asked. “Me? If you care about me, you’d be excited about this.”

“I do,” Lexa acknowledged. “I do care about you.  I didn’t mean to, or want to, but I do.  And now I can’t stop. So no, I’m not mad at you. I’m just disappointed that...we just met and now you’re going to leave...and that...blows, because I do care.  I like you, Clarke.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Clarke said with a smile, positioning herself closer.

Lexa melted when she smiled like that.  Dammit, she was so fucking cute that it was annoying.

“It’s not?” Lexa asked, letting herself get drawn in.

“I like you, too,” Clarke admitted.

“Yeah?”

“Of course, I d-”

She was cut off when Lexa pulled Clarke into her.

Lexa was seldom as forward as she was in that moment. And, she wasn’t entirely sure why she picked that time to go after it.  Maybe it was the pep talk she had received earlier, then again maybe it was the fear of Clarke leaving and never getting another chance like the one presented.  She didn’t ask if it was okay, didn’t give any indication she was about to dive into Clarke’s face either.  She just reached up and slid her hand behind Clarke’s neck and suddenly she was kissing her.

She was kissing Clarke Griffin.

She was kissing Clarke Griffin and Clarke Griffin was kissing her back.

Clarke was obviously surprised, not entirely sure what was happening for half a second.  But then, Lexa’s lips touched hers and everything else became slow motion in fast forward.  It was a crackle of energy in a vacuum. It was just Clarke and Lexa and Lexa’s soft lips and Lexa’s pineapple coconut chapstick and Lexa’s fingers slowly trailing from behind her neck down under her chin.  Lexa’s fingernails scratched lightly where her fingers went and then she felt the warmth of Lexa’s other hand on her hip moving, searching for skin.

Lexa kissed her like she was fragile.  It was gentle and nearly passive, Lexa barely sucking at her bottom lip.  Clarke heard her moan like she could have stayed there for days, like she had been waiting for this moment all her life and she was happy there.  Lexa was happy kissing her, and she didn’t mind being kissed at all.

In fact, Clarke’s hand seemed to have a mind of it’s own as it fell onto Lexa’s back and sank lower, lower.  She did have one bodacious ass, and Clarke wasn’t above getting her hands on it, if only for a moment.

“Hey,” Clarke breathed when Lexa’s lips disconnected from her own.

“Hey,” Lexa responded as she ducked back in.

Clarke pulled back just enough to stay out of reach. “This is fun,” Clarke said right before eliminating the distance and kissing Lexa quickly, soundly. “But I don’t want to start something we can’t finish.”

“We can finish it,” Lexa said going in for another brush of Clarke’s lips. “We can finish it a couple of times if you want.”

“While that’s very tempting,” Clarke said, accepting yet another light kiss on the corner of her mouth. “I have to be on a plane very early in the morning.”

Lexa pulled back finally, actually taking a step back while still pinching the bottom hem of Clarke’s shirt between her fingers. “I can see you off,” Lexa offered. “Aden can stay with Gus tonight.”

Clarke reached down and threaded their fingers together. “I really want to see how this goes before seeing how,” she made a motion between the two of them, “ _ this _ goes.”

Lexa pulled her hand away slowly. “You don’t want to give us a shot until you know about the job?”

“It’s only fair,” Clarke said reasonably. “Don’t you think?”

“I-” Lexa was at a loss.

“I’ll be gone for a while,” Clarke reminded her. “At least until November, and who knows how long after that if things go well.  It’s really not fair to start something with you and then leave.”

“I’m an adult,” Lexa said. “I think I can handle it.”

“Well, maybe I can’t.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Lexa didn’t hear from her for two days.  Two whole, long, godforsaken days went by.  And, she didn’t even hear from Clarke after the two days.  That, at least, would have made her feel like it meant something.  That would have validated her in some small way.  But, she didn’t.  She knew that Clarke had gotten the job when she announced it by taking a selfie of herself and her new boss, Roan Azgeda, and posted it on Instagram.  Lexa instantly disliked him without having a solid reason for doing so.  If she had a kingdom, he would definitely get banished, though.

And that was it.  She really didn’t even understand why she was heartbroken about it.  It wasn’t like she had known Clarke very long.  It wasn’t as if they had had some torrid love affair.  She was just another girl.  Just another person dropped in and out of Lexa’s life.  She had more important things to worry about.

Aden, for example.  

He dropped a school text book on table before plopping down with all the grace of a typical twelve year old boy.

“Geography sucks,” he said. “Can you help me memorize all the countries in Asia?”

“Absolutely,” she said, shutting her laptop on Clarke.


	9. I Must Have Fruit Cups

“You haven’t told her?” Octavia asked as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.  She hopped up on the counter with her glass. “Why haven’t you called her?”

“I don’t know what to say,” Clarke said, drinking her own juice. She poked at the eggs on her plate, moving them around. “I mean, how do I go back on what I already said? I basically shut down any possibly of us when I go to Vermont.”

“You could always stay,” Octavia said, smiling widely.  She had already expressed her sadness at Clarke being gone for so long and she wasn’t above using Clarke’s newfound feelings to manipulate the situation in her own favor. “You’re breaking up the Three Space-kateers.”

“I’m not breaking anything up,” Clarke said. “Plus, we can’t live together forever.”

“Says who?” Raven asked, crunching on a charred piece of bacon. “I say we all live together with our spouses and kids and just make one giant family glob. It’ll be awesome.”

“Not so sure about that,” Clarke said. “I don’t want to be your sister wife.”

“I’m going to marry your mom anyway,” Raven said. “We’ll be well on our way.”

“Ugh, don’t even talk to me about Abby right now,” Clarke complained. “I’m still really pissed at her.”

“I’m still in favor of that plan no matter what,” Raven stuck to her guns.

“I’m not sure Lincoln would go for that, either,” Octavia said. “He’s already hinting at us getting our own place together.”

“And Lexa lives in Annapolis,” Clarke mentioned. “That’s where Aden goes to school, so I think they’re pretty much settled.”

“You did  _ not _ just say that,” Raven’s eyes were wide. “That’s not the statement of a girl who just wants to  _ try _ .”

“She’s right,” Octavia agreed. “That’s the statement of a girl who is dead set on buying before she tries it on.”

Clarke could feel her face heating up with the blush spreading over her cheeks. “I can’t help it.”

“You’re going to end up with pants that are too tight,” Raven warned. “Or a shirt that shows too much cleavage.”

“There’s no such thing!” Clarke scoffed.

“You have to talk to her first,” Octavia advised. “You didn’t exactly leave things in a good place.”

“I know, but I have to have something ready,” Clarke said. “I can’t go in there without a good, solid argument as to why it’s going to work.  Selling her a long-distance relationship probably is going to take a lot of convincing.”

“Tell her that you know it’ll be hard, but you want to make an effort,” Raven suggested. “I think she’ll be okay with that. If she still won’t go for it, then make out with her again in her office.”

“I really don’t want to sound like a horny bastard,” Clarke said. “But, I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t part of my plan.”

“My saddle’s waiting,” Raven burst into song. “Come and jump on it...”

“Thank you, Raven.”

“I can sing more if you want,” Raven offered.

“Nah,” Clarke shook her head. “Think I’ve heard enough.”

“It sounds to me like she’s really into you,” Octavia said. “And considering every third word out of your mouth is ‘Lexa’ right now, I know you’re into her. So, I think it’s going to be okay.”

“It’s just that it’s so stupid to jump into a relationship knowing it’s going to be really difficult,” Clarke sighed. “We’ll have two months and then I’ll be gone for eight.”

“But, you said summer isn’t as busy for her, right?”

“At work,” Clarke said. “But she’ll still have Aden.”

“She can take him to Vermont, too,” Raven said. “If you’re going to be with her, you’re going to be with him, too.”

“You’ve thought about that, right?” Octavia prodded. “She is raising a human, Clarke.  Like, literally feeding and clothing and shaping a young, impressionable boy.  Are you ready to be a parent to somebody?”

“I think I can learn,” Clarke said. “I can figure it out.  She’s worth it.”

“You need to  _ know _ ,” Octavia told her. “He’s already lost two parents. I know what that’s like.  I also know what it’s like to only have a sibling to depend on.  That’s a pretty tight bond.  So...be careful...with both of them.”

“I don’t plan to hurt either one,” Clarke promised.  “All I know is that I have to give it a try.  I spent three days away from her and it was miserable.  How did that even happen?  How is she all I can think about?”

“You’re in lo-ove!” Raven shouted.

“Shut up!”

Clarke didn’t really think to deny it.  Holy shit balls, maybe she was.

  
  


* * *

  
  


 

“You want me to do what?” Indra asked as she pulled Lexa further into her office. “I’m not even sure I can do that.”

“Why not?” Lexa said.  “She doesn’t even really work here.”

“Exactly,” Indra said. “She’s a volunteer. I can’t fire a volunteer just because you’re in a bad mood.”

“You’ve wanted to fire her since she started!”

“Because she burned down half the farm!” Indra’s voice matched Lexa’s in volume before she regained her wits. “But, then she grew on me.  Much like she grew on you,” Indra gave it beat before clarifying, “well, nothing like she grew on you, but you know what I mean.”

“Don’t get all judgmental.”

“I’ve never been judgmental of you,” Indra told her. “I accept your decisions without questioning, I do what you ask without exception.  But this time, you’re doing something because you’re hurt, not because it’s a smart business decision.”

“What do you even know about it?”

“I know that her mother was in here planting seeds of doubt in your mind about her character,” Indra said. “I know that you didn’t want to believe her, but it worked well enough.”

“That has nothing to do with it.”

“I know that you’re upset that she’s taking that job,” Indra said with a condescending glare.

“Who told you that?”

“You think you’re the only person who talks around here?”

Lexa pouted. It was a real, adult sized pout.

“What do you think you’re going to accomplish by doing this?”

“I can’t see her,” Lexa said, eyes starting to well up. “Please, Indra. Tell her whatever you want.  Tell her we don’t need her anymore. Tell her anything.  I just can’t run into her here for another two months.”

Lexa didn’t feel good about it.  She really didn’t.  She was in self-preservation mode.  Besides, Clarke was busy moving on anyway.  She hadn’t even called Lexa to tell her the news.  Clarke had told her in the most straightforward way possible that if she got the job, then they weren’t happening.  She didn’t even have to guts to confirm it.  So yeah, Lexa was doing a shitty thing, but Clarke wasn’t innocent either.

“So you’re leaving me to do your dirty work?” Indra asked in a way that meant she was conceding to Lexa’s wishes. “I can’t talk you out of it?”

“I just want it to be over.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“What the hell is going on?” Clarke bounded into Lexa’s office an hour later, not bothering with knocking or pleasantries. “Indra just said that I didn’t work here anymore.”

Lexa didn’t even bother looking up at her.  She knew better. “You don’t.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t need you anymore, Clarke,” Lexa said. “I hired someone to take your spot.”

“But I don’t leave for two more months,” Clarke argued. “I told you that. I can still help out around here.”

“I don’t think so, Clarke,” Lexa said, stacking and re-stacking the paperwork on her desk. “Your job here is done. I appreciate how hard you worked. I’d be glad to write any recommendation you may need in the future.”

“You  _ appreciate _ how hard I  _ worked _ ?” Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Why the fuck are you talking to me like some seasonal employee, Lexa?”

“Because, Clarke,” Lexa stopped stacking. “You were.”

“So let me get this straight,” Clarke said, venom evident in her voice, “you’re firing me?  I left for three days and you’re done with me?  No explanation except you hired someone to do a job I was doing for free.”

“You’re leaving,” Lexa said. “There’s no reason to stretch it out and make it hurt more.  You’re leaving and I’m staying and that’s it.”

“At least look at me,” Clarke said. It was so soft that Lexa didn’t really know that she heard it.  “Lexa. C’mon. Can we talk about this?”

“Thanks, Clarke,” Lexa said coldly. “Good luck in your new career.”

“Fuck you, Lexa.”

Lexa finally looked in just enough time to see the tears.  Clarke was gone shortly after that.  She was surprised that the weight that was resting on her shoulders hadn’t lifted with Clarke’s departure.  She thought for sure that when this dreaded exchange was over, she would feel free.  But it didn’t.  She didn’t.  It just felt heavier.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


It was late when Lexa finally dragged herself through the door that night.  It was very late.  She knew Aden would have been in bed long ago, but she didn’t figure on Gustus sitting on her couch flipping through channels.

“Hey kiddo,” he said when she got into the living room.

“Thanks for staying, Gus.”

“Anytime,” he said. “Did you turn your phone off?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I...was avoiding any unwanted messages.”

“She called here,” Gustus told her.  “Begged me to have you call her.  Sounded pretty desperate to talk to you.”

“Hm,” was all she could muster in response.  She headed toward the kitchen to find a snack.  One snack in particular, actually. Lexa hunted through her cabinet until she found the economy size of fruit cocktail and set it out on the counter.  

“Lex, what’s going on?” Gustus got off the couch to join her. “In the last couple of weeks, you’ve seemed happier.  It was because of this girl, right?  You really like her.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “What’s done is done.”

“So that’s it?”

“She’s moving,” Lexa said. “End of story.”

“You’re shutting down again, kid,” Gustus told her. “Been happening for days now.  The signs are always the same with you. You did it after your parents, which made perfect sense. You did it after Costia, which I completely understood. But this time...I didn’t know you and Clarke had gotten so close.”

“I didn’t know it either,” Lexa said truthfully. She shuffled through her drawer until she found the automatic can opener, started it, and watched as the lid was slowly cut off.  “There was just something about her. I don’t even really know what it was...is...was.”

“You love her.”

“No, I don’t, Gus,” Lexa denied it. She threw both the opener and the lid in the sink, bit open a silverware packet with her teeth and pulled out the fork. “Nope.”

“You do, Lex,” he said. “You love her.  That’s why you’re about to eat enough fruit cocktail for fourteen people.  You don’t know what else to do with yourself.”

“Gus, I love fruit cocktail. I would be doing this anyway.”

“You’re so stubborn.”

“Yeah, and you’re the closest thing to a parent that I have and I appreciate what you’re trying to do right now, but I can unequivocally say that that is bullshit,” Lexa declared.

Gustus gave her his patented exasperated look and just kissed her forehead. “You’ll figure it out, Lex.”

She watched him go before spearing a pineapple onto her fork.  She didn’t love Clarke Griffin.  There was no way.  She hadn’t even had time to fall in love with her.  She burned down Lexa’s spruces, for fuck’s sake.  Of course, that was an accident.  By now, Lexa had heard the story a dozen times.  It was kinda funny.  If you liked stories about burning trees, that is.  And yeah, Clarke was beautiful.  She was beautiful in that prettiest-girl-you’ve-ever-seen-in-real-life kinda way. So yeah, Lexa was attracted to her.  More than attracted.  And yeah, she had kissed her and it was like sensory overload.  Did Lexa have flashes of proposing on rooftop in a sea full of candles? Who doesn’t when they kiss the girl of their dreams. Of course, she did.  Did Lexa feel like somebody had punched her in the heart?  Yes. Yes. Yes.  Did she already miss her? Yes. Did she make a huge mistake? Probably. But, did she love her?

_Damn_.


	10. Wonder Tits and Seven Plus Months Later

“Shh, here she comes,” Raven whispered over her cup of coffee.

Octavia looked up just in time to see Clarke escorting her “friend” down the stairs.  They were both laughing wildly, probably still a little drunk.  When Clarke tripped over the last stair, it became absolutely evident that she was still drunk.  More than a little.

“Whoops!” Clarke practically screamed and then dissolved into a fit of giggles.

Her friend did the same alongside her.  “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke assured her. “I’m just great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great, great.”

“Trainwreck, film at eleven,” Raven said under her breath.

“You are pretty great,” the yet to be identified woman slurred.

“You, too.” It was meant to be charming, but somehow completely missed the mark.

“Ugh,” Raven commented from across the room. “I’m mentally puking.”

“Well, thanks for keeping me company last night,” Clarke said to her when they got to the door.

“It was my pleasure,” the woman flirted openly, fingering strands of Clarke’s now reddish hair. “I had fun, Claire.”

“Me, too,” Clarke said before leaning into her and landing a kiss that would make reverends dunk themselves in holy water.

“Dang!” Raven said as she watched the show, tilting her head to see it from different angles. “That’s internet subscription type quality.”

“Look away,” Octavia said, already facing the other direction. “Stop watching that.”

Raven began to laugh out loud after this went on for another minute. “Okay, okay,” she shouted. “Time to say goodbye, Claire.”

Clarke pulled herself away, stumbled a bit, then caught herself on the door frame. “My friends are bitches. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” the girl said. “Maybe we can meet up again.”

“Yeah,” Clarke agreed. “I have your number.”

“Good.”

“Bye.” Clarke kissed the woman one more time before closing the door with her on the other side.  She took a moment to let her head fall against the door with a thump. 

“You okay over there?” Octavia asked with a smirk.

“Didn’t you hear that she’s great?” Raven laughed. “Great. Great. Great, great.”

“I did. I heard,” Octavia said. She found Clarke again. “Looks like you had fun last night.”

“I had the  _ best  _ time.”

“So...who was that?” Octavia asked, eyebrow raising slightly.

“Niylah,” Clarke said without even a shred of emotion.

“Niylah,” Octavia repeated. “Didn’t want to introduce us?”

Clarke failed to even acknowledge the question.

“Probably won’t see her again,” Raven answered for her. “One and done, Clarkey?”

“Don’t,” Clarke warned.

“Or should I say Claire?” Raven asked.

Clarke shrugged. “It’s easier than Clarke.”

“You’ve been back three nights,” Raven stated. “And you haven’t been sober for one.”

“And?”

Octavia tried to head off the argument she knew was coming, “So where did you meet Niylah? She seemed...enthusiastic.”

“She’s a bartender,” Clarke answered.

“You’re banging some random bartender, good for you,” Raven mumbled.

“Rae!” Octavia’s eyes widened and she tugged on her friend’s arm.

“Don’t Rae, me,” Raven said, pulling away.

“You should listen to her,” Clarke said to Raven. “I’m not really in the mood for one of your lectures right now.”

“Okay, you listen,” Raven positioned herself in front of Clarke. “You’ve dyed your hair, got some weird cougar tattoo, and you’re having one-nighters with bartenders.”

“It’s a panther!” Clarke corrected her. “Which is my goddamned spirit animal.”

“Your spirit animal is the Emperor Penguin,” Raven argued. “It has been since we saw Happy Feet in the sixth grade.”

“Not anymore.

“Are you having some sort of existential crisis?”

“No.”

“Good, so this is just about  _ her _ . Because really Clarke,” Raven caught her eye. “It’s a forty minute drive.  If it’s making you so damn crazy, just go see her.”

“You know that I can’t do that,” Clarke said slowly. “Now shut the fuck up about it.”

That’s all it took to make Clarke venture back up the stairs.  That’s really all it ever took these days.  And, like Raven had said, it had only been three.  She flew home right after the election was over.  As soon as the numbers came in, she was gone.  Truthfully, Clarke had done well for herself.  She’d made contacts that would come in handy.  She met people that were going to help her to get a step up.  Going to Vermont was the best decision of her life.

Going to Vermont was the worst decision of her life.  She was miserable.  She tried to drown herself in funding and polls and networking and it worked for a bit.  It would work for small intervals at a time.  But, it would always come back to  _ her _ . Clarke really didn’t even know anymore if it was because she honestly loved Lexa or because she had failed some karmic challenge.  Like, maybe, the universe had aligned everything so that all she had to do was make one right decision and she won at life.  The wrong decision meant she was doomed.  Maybe she was doomed.

When she got to her room, she pulled all the sheets off her bed.  She didn’t need the smell of someone else permeating the air.  Niylah had been nice.  She was fun. She was attractive, but Clarke didn’t care.  She didn’t really have her number and she didn’t plan on ever stepping foot in that bar again.  She had told Niylah her name was Claire to safeguard against her ever being tracked down.  Maybe that’s what made her horrible.  Maybe her manipulating ways had caught up with her in the most disastrous way possible.

She gathered up all the sheets and balled them up for easy transport.  On her way to the laundry, she heard her roommates in hushed conversation.

“Did you have to go there?” Octavia asked, milling about the kitchen.

“She has to deal with it eventually,” Raven replied. “She’s still in love with Lexa.”

“I know that and you know that.”

“She knows that,” Raven said. “It’s the reason she didn’t stay in Vermont.  She had a job on Emerson’s staff, she turned it down to come home.”

“She never said that.”

“Roan told me,” Raven said. “Asked me to talk to her, make her reconsider.”

“Why didn’t I know that?”

“You’re planning a wedding,” Raven said. “That’s takes priority over Clarke’s shenanigans.”

“She’s going to fucking flip when she finds out where the wedding is,” Octavia said, taking a deep breath.

“Hey,” Raven laughed. “She might decide she doesn’t want to go.”

“She’s has to, she’s a bridesma-”

“Where is it?” Clarke asked, sneaking up behind them. “Where’s the wedding?”

“Did you learn to pick up your feet while you were gone?” Raven asked, springing away from Octavia like it would negate the conversation just overheard. “You were always easier to hear coming before.”

“O, where is it?” Clarke asked again.

“I was hoping there would be some kind of a truce reached before we had to discuss it,” Octavia said. “But, it’s at the tree farm.”

“Will she be there?”

“Of course, she’ll be there,” Raven told her. “It’s her place. And Lincoln has worked there for years.”

“You’re not flaking out of my wedding like you did Bell’s,” Octavia said forcefully. “So you better figure it out.”

“I was working!”

“You promised me you’d be here,” Octavia said.  “It was important. Bell got married without you, Clarke.”

“He’ll probably do it again in five to ten years,” Raven said. “It’s not that major.”

“She knew I was coming,” Clarke told them. “She texted me and asked when I’d be in.  She knew and she wanted to talk to me. I couldn’t, not after...”

“Clarke,” Raven started toward her, “there’s something you should-”

“Raven!”

“I’m telling her!”

“Raven went on a date with your mom,” Octavia shouted over whatever Raven was trying to say.

Raven stopped cold and she slowly peered over her shoulder. Her brows furrowed at Octavia, silently asking ‘what the fuck was that?’

“It was just a coffee thing,” Octavia said, trying to cover the best she could. “But, she feels terrible about it.”

“Yeah,” Raven said, playing the part. “So guilty, am I.”

“That’s really fucked up, Rae,” Clarke finally said.  “You know how I feel about Abby.”

“Well, you know me,” she responded, still wondering how the hell they got here. “It was more of a run-in.  She just wanted to know how you were doing.”  

That was actually close to the truth.  There had been coffee and Abby had asked how Clarke was.  Unfortunately, the run-in had been planned for Raven to put Abby on blast for giving Lexa money to buy Clarke out of her volunteer position at the tree farm.  Which, Raven believed because that’s what Clarke had eventually told her.  Turns out, that’s just what Lexa told Clarke to finally get her to stop calling.

“Oh, okay,” Clarke said. She turned to Octavia, “I just couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to see Lek-, I wasn’t ready.  Because I was mad.  I’m still so mad at her, but I know when I see her...Just her texts send me spiraling, you know?”

“Did you try just not replying?” Raven asked, like it was probably the most obvious solution ever invented.

“I didn’t,” Clarke said. “I never replied.”

“You didn’t?” Raven was rightly suspicious.

“Once,” Clarke confessed. “Right after graduation.  She texted to congratulate me and I told her to leave me alone.”

“And that’s the only time you’ve exchanged messages since you broke up?”

“We didn’t  _ break up _ ,” Clarke said. “There was nothing to break. We flirted. I liked her. She wasn’t who I thought she was. There was no break up.”

“Not what I asked,” Raven said.

“I’m just saying...”

“Answer the question,” Octavia was just as interested now.

“Okay, twice,” Clarke huffed. “Last month sometime she texted me with some gibberish about capturing wanheda to save her coalition.  I figured she had fallen down some D&D rabbit hole or she was high on whatever she has growing in that garden of hers on the farm.”

“Clarke, I’m almost 1000 percent sure, that’s cucumbers,” Raven said. “Eat a fucking vegetable already.”

“Whatever,” Clarke said. “I told her to stop texting me...again...and then I sent a pic of my boobs.”

“Not an appropriate response,” Octavia clued her in.

“Eh, I was wearing a bra,” Clarke said. “And she needs to know what she missed out on. Made me feel better.”

“Well, that is important,” Octavia said, as supportive as the aforementioned bra.

Clarke seemed satisfied and was going to continue her journey to the laundry when she stopped. “Wait a second.”

“Yeah?” they both answered.

“How do you know it’s cucumbers?”

That’s the  _ other _ thing Raven wanted to confess.  After her conversation with Abby, she went to put Lexa on blast for being so fucking stupid to lie about taking money from Clarke’s mom.  And Lexa explained why she fudged that bit of information.  And Raven explained that Clarke wanted to try at a relationship before Lexa fired her like a moron.  And Lexa was devastated that Clarke was devastated and immediately tried to open the lines of communication again.  But, it was much too late and Clarke was having none of that.  Lexa was, in turn, devastated again. (Raven also wondered why the fuck nobody would ever "lady up" and talk to anybody, but then she remembered how much shit she'd be in with Clarke if she knew that Raven was meddling, so she let it go.)  So...Raven may have befriended her a little.  Good ol’ Rae was keeping Lexa completely up-to-date and Lexa was subsequently waiting out the storm to reappear in Clarke’s life.  Raven was a motherfucking double agent without the actual mother fucking.   _ That _ she definitely  _ did _ feel terrible about.

And that’s what you missed on #The 300.

“Raven went with me when I was checking out the farm...for the wedding,” Octavia said, as quick on her feet as the day is long.

“Yep,” Raven agreed, hoping that Clarke bought it. “Holy matrimony and shit.”

“Everybody’s always fucking getting married around here,” Clarke complained. “Happiness is gross.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

“It’s my three ladder system,” Aden told Lexa as he draped more garland.  “But it doesn’t work unless you’re moving the ladders.”

The big opening was a week away and it was all hands on deck.  Lexa had recruited Aden for his usual job: the traditional hanging of the garland around the warehouse and the shops.  Which he was taking very seriously.

“Seems dangerous,” Lexa said, moving the ladder anyway so that Aden could step across to the next one. “I’m going to need you to not break any limbs.”

“Relax,” Aden said, wrapping the greenery like an expert. “I got this.”

“I have no doubts about your abilities, A.”

“Are you going to let me work on the farm this season?” he asked, watching Lexa move another ladder to not hamper his continued movement.  

“I think you’re still a bit too young.”

“I’m thirteen, now,” Aden proclaimed referring the birthday that just passed. “There’s plenty of things I can help out with.”

“Pretty sure it’s illegal,” Lexa said.

“I own half of this place,” he reminded her.  “Or, I will when I turn eighteen.  So, you might as well teach me how to do it right.”

“You don’t have to,” Lexa said, climbing up the ladder in front of her to get at the same level. “I want you to know that.  If you don’t want to work here, then you don’t have to.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” the boy asked, almost irritated, as he hung another couple of feet of garland.  “You do.”

“I had to,” Lexa said. “I didn’t have a choice. It was my responsibility to take over for Dad.  Gustus bridged the gap for us, but it was my responsibility.”

“It will be mine, too.”

“If you want it,” Lexa told him. “But, if you don’t, then that’s okay, too.”

Aden nodded, understanding even in his youth what she was trying to say. “Okay.”

Lexa climbed back down and moved the third later.  “I just don’t want you to regret anything.  I want you to know you have choices and when other opportunities come along, and they will, I want you to feel free to pursue them.”

Aden smiled, “I get it. So...”

“You can work out here on your break from school,” Lexa said. “I’ll boost your allowance.”

“By how much?” Aden asked, always up for a debate.

“Minimum wage, all cash, non-taxable,” Lexa said. “That’s the best you’re getting from me.”

“Those terms are fair,” Aden agreed. “Does today count?”

“Nope,” Lexa shook her head. “You agreed to free labor today.”

“Fine,” Aden said, switching to the next ladder.   He caught someone else entering the warehouse as he steadied himself. “Linc, guess who gets to be your assistant during selling season!”

“Really?” Lincoln looked between the two.  Aden had been around a lot recently and he and Lincoln had struck up quite a friendship.  “Finally talked to her into it?”

“And getting paid!” Aden shouted. “Bonus.”

“He wasn’t even planning to ask about money,” Lincoln said to Lexa. “Must have been confident during negotiations.”

“Nah,” Lexa said. “I was being nice.”

“Very cool, dude,” Lincoln said, offering his hand up for Aden to slap it. “Looking forward to it.”

“Me, too,” Aden said, going back to the decorating.

“Hey, I’m heading out a little early today,” Lincoln said.  “Is that cool with you?”

“Sure,” Lexa said. “No problem.  Wedding stuff?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Lincoln scratched at his chin, hesitant to say anything. “I’m not sure. O says it’s the official first dinner with the wedding party, so it’s important.  I think Raven and O are making up a tradition, honestly.”

“Dinner with the whole wedding party?” Lexa was suddenly and completely interested. “She’s back?”

Lincoln’s eyes ticked up at Aden, who had also heard and connected the dots.  

“She got back a few days ago.”

“How is she?”

“I haven’t seen her,” Lincoln said honestly. “From what Octavia has mentioned, she doesn’t quite seem like herself, though.”

“Hm,” Lexa said thoughtfully.  “Yeah, go. Sorry to keep you.”

“You’re sure?”

“I think we can do without you for an hour, Linc,” Lexa assured him. “Plus, I’ve got your assistant over here.  Have fun with your friends.”

“Thanks, Lexa.”

Aden watched him leave before he took a few steps down and then jumped from halfway up the ladder.

“Be careful!”

“Are you going to see her?” he asked.  

“I don’t know,” Lexa answered. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”

“Go see her,” he said. “Tell her you’re stupid and you’re sorry and invite her to movie.”

“A movie?”

“Or buy her something,” Aden suggested. “Girls are into that.”

Lexa punched him in the shoulder, “Why are you always giving me advice about girls?”

“Because you need it, Lex,” Aden said, face full of pity. “You need it.”


	11. Leave Immediately (Go, Run)

Lexa briefly wondered how one kid could amass so many mismatched socks.  Why was there so many fucking socks?  Where were the other ones?  How could this happen?  How does one have a perfectly great pair of socks, so well matched and with such great chemistry, and then just destroy one sock?  Dead. Gone. And it’s not like the other can just be paired up with another sock lying around.  Doesn’t work like that.

Aden was going to have to do his own laundry.  

Besides, time was really at a premium right now.  The Christmas tree season was just about to kick off in earnest as Thanksgiving was just a few days away.  In fact, the holiday was the reason she was at home in the middle of the day waiting on Aden to get off the bus from school.  She kicked herself for not saving the time and just going to pick him up.  But, the kid insisted on escorting his new girlfriend home (even if it was by public transport.)  He was quite gentlemanly.  She must be doing something right.

She had just thrown the twenty two unmatched socks in a clothes basket to be sorted later when she heard someone rapping on the front door.  She rolled her eyes at Aden, who must have forgotten his key again.

“Just a sec, A,” she yelled as she dropped the basket and made her way toward the sound.

It’s wasn’t Aden.

She was surprised as how jarring it was to be faced with Clarke without any kind of warning.  She was also a bit surprised by the fact that Clarke seemed to have used some red spray-in dye in her hair recently.  That’s probably why she took a defensive step back from the threshold.  Well, that and Clarke did not look like she was there to distribute Girl Scout Cookies.

“What didn’t you understand about ‘don’t fucking call me?’” Clarke asked as soon as their eyes met. She was waving her phone around, but really it was all Lexa could do to breathe. “Was eight voicemails of you saying ‘hey’ really necessary?”

“I...uh...”

“It’s a bit obsessive.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa apologized. “I just...well, I heard you were back. I wanted to say...well, hey.”

“That’s it?”

“Y-yeah,” Lexa brushed her hair behind her ears. “No. That’s not all I wanted.  I wanted to talk to you.  About some stuff. If that’s okay.”

“Like what?”

“I...” Lexa went blank. “We can talk about anything.”

“Nothing specific you had in mind?”

Lexa let a deep breath, “I just wanted to see you.”

“Yeah? You just wanted to see me?” Clarke was boiling just below seething. “You wanted Clarke Griffin, you fucking got her. So, say whatever it is you want to say, so I can move on from this...” Clarke waved between them, “...whatever it is.”

Lexa had a way with epic standoffs.  She was a master at the stare down.  She was a genius with her glares.  She had once made a grown man cry just by shooting him eye daggers for cutting in front of her at the Kilwins ice cream shop.  (She had her eye on two scoops of Mackinac Island Fudge and that fucker thought he would slide in between her and her waffle cone.)  But, Clarke was kryptonite to her Superstare.  So, she meekly stepped aside, hoping Clarke would take the invitation.

“Come in,” Lexa offered before positioning herself out of the way.  All the while, she kept a very keen eye on the non-blonde. “I see that you’re still angry.”

“Understatement.”

Clarke did, by the way.  She stormed in like it was her place.  Went so far as to hang her coat on the back of a kitchen chair and slip her shoes off.  Lexa was glued to the scene like she was watching a not-quite ex in their natural habitat.

“Would you like something?”

“Plenty,” Clarke said with disdain. “But nothing you can really offer.”

“Or, something simple, like water?” Lexa said, fighting against rolling her eyes at Clarke.

“No,” Clarke said, looking around Lexa’s home. She seemed to be searching, for what Lexa didn’t know.  “Talk.”

“How was Vermont?”

Clarke laughed bitterly. “It was great.”

“Did you accomplish what you set out to accomplish?” Lexa asked, following Clarke, but staying ten paces behind.

“We won,” Clarke said, hoping that was enough of an answer.  Mainly because she wasn’t sure how to answer honestly.  

“I heard.”

Lexa continued to watch her, but Clarke didn’t stop moving.  She wandered.  She studied.  She let her hand trail over the table, the pictures on wall, the granite countertops in the kitchen.  

“Do you want to sit?” Lexa finally asked.  Clarke was starting to make her a bit nervous.

“Nope,” Clarke answered. She walked purposely into the living room and picked the remote up off the couch, turning on the television.

“You want to watch TV?”

“No,” Clarke said, pushing the button to turn it back off.  She tossed it back on the couch. “Instead of all the small talk bullshit, why don’t you tell me why.”

“First, I need to tell you the truth,” Lexa started.

“Lexa, I know the truth,” Clarke countered. “I know you didn’t take any money from my mother. You think I wouldn’t have asked?  Of course, I did.  I know you’re not an opportunistic asshole.  What I don’t know is why you would tell me that, knowing that it would be deal-breaker?  That would have been the thing we couldn’t come back from, and you lied about it.  Were you that desperate to get away from me?”

“Honestly,” Lexa said. “Yes.  At the moment, yes.  I just wanted it to be done.”

“Us?”

“From my perspective, it looked like you were leaving and not looking back, Clarke.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to explain,” Clarke argued. “You just made up your mind.”

“You should have called.”

“I was trying to sort through everything,” Clarke said. “I was trying to figure out how to make it work.”

“By not consulting me?” Lexa asked. “All you had to do was come to me, Clarke.”

“I’m used to fixing problems,” Clarke told her. “That’s what I do.”

“And I’m used to figuring it out on my own,” Lexa stated plainly. “I don’t have any other choice.”

“I went to the farm that day to ask if you thought we could do it,” Clarke said. “If we could try being in a relationship while I was gone.  It was always my plan to come back.”

“I know that now,” Lexa replied. “I wish I had known that’s what you wanted, but you didn’t  _ talk  _ to me.”

The silence laid out before them.  The buzzer from the last load of Lexa’s laundry sounded and she could hear the neighbor’s pomeranian having an absolute barking fit, but Clarke stayed still.  Lexa watched as the she bit her lip in contemplation and had never wanted mind-reading capabilities as badly as she wanted them in that moment.

“I keep thinking about you,” Clarke said, out the blue, steering the conversation with a hard left. “You won’t get out of my head.”

“I know the feeling.”

“Then why haven’t you...” Clarke wanted to accuse her of so many things, but remembered that she hadn’t exactly given her a ton of chances to explain.

Lexa gathered her courage and took a few steps toward her. “I am sorry, Clarke. I know it doesn’t mean a lot now, but I tried to call you. I tried to text you.  I didn’t know how to make it better and I didn’t know how to undo what I did.  You didn’t want to hear me, either.  Which, made it difficult to share my side.”

“It was way too late, anyway,” Clarke said sadly. “It’s done.”

“Then why are you here now?” Lexa asked.

“Raven said I was being a mega bitch because I need closure,” Clarke said. “And I needed to see your face when I told you I don’t want to have anything to do with you.  Plus, we have O and Linc’s wedding and I didn’t want to cause some scene there. They don’t deserve that.”

“So that’s it?” Lexa asked. “This is about Raven and Lincoln and Octavia’s wedding? I don’t think that’s true because you’re standing  _ in my house _ looking at me like you always have.”

Clarke didn’t respond, she just walked away.  She walked toward the steps and after a pause, she continued upward.

“Clarke?” Lexa called. “Clarke, what are you doing?”

“I’m trying to maintain my righteous rage and you’re wearing a fucking kitten sweater.”

Lexa looked down at her psychedelic kitty sweater. “I’m sorry?”

“What do you want, Lexa?”  Clarke continued to climb and Lexa continued to follow.

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Okay, so how? How are we supposed to move forward?” Clarke asked instead of answering. “Can we?  I’m not even sure I can trust you.”

“Just like I can’t be sure you won’t leave at any time, so you tell me.”

“You’re right. I can’t even be sure I won’t leave.”

“Clarke, can we stop?” Lexa pleaded. “I feel like I’m on the real estate tour from hell.”

When Clarke reached the landing, she was immediately faced with a room.  She stopped, staring ahead. The room’s french style doors not only closed it off, but signified that it was probably the master.  “Is this your room?”

“No,” Lexa answered. “It was my parents room. It kinda smells like cigars because Gus stayed in there for the two years that he lived here. Still does sometimes. So I never moved out of my old room.”

Clarke walked away, either having little interest or just out of respect, Lexa wasn’t sure.  When she came to the next door, she must have sensed something about it, because she didn’t ask or pause.  Clarke just walked on in.

Lexa’s room had always been a variant of purple.  She had painted it a slightly darker years ago, the summer before her parents died.  It still had all the remnants of a teenage girl’s room.  There was a bulletin board full of pictures.  Most of them of her and Aden.  A lot of pictures featured her and some girl.  Lexa looked younger, must be Costia.  A large framed picture on her dresser was of her and her parents.  It wasn’t posed or staged, it was slightly out of focus, in fact.  Clarke could tell by the placement that it was important, maybe the most important.

Clarke picked it up, “You look like your mom.”

“Yeah,” Lexa said.

“She was beautiful,” Clarke said, looking at Lexa pointedly.

“Thank you.”

Clarke circled the room, taking in as much as she could.  She noticed there were plenty of candles scattered about.  That must have been why it smelled so good. She picked up one, took a sniff, and committed the name to memory before depositing herself onto Lexa’s full-size bed.  She leaned back on her arms and crossed her legs as they dangled off the side. “So this is where you sleep...”

“You found it,” Lexa said, swallowing hard.

“I haven’t been sleeping very well lately,” Clarke said.

“Me, either.”

Clarke uncrossed her legs and then crossed them the other way. “I don’t  _ want _ to be mad at you anymore.”

“Then don’t be.”

“You lied to me.”

“You left me.”

“But, I didn’t,” Clarke said.  She threw up her hands as if presenting herself. “I didn’t.”

“I missed you,” Lexa told her. “That’s what I wanted to say every time I left a voicemail.”

Clarke avoided the stare that Lexa had leveled on her.  She tried to look anywhere else and in doing so, she noticed a lump under Lexa’s pillow. Clarke leaned toward it, “What’s that?”

“Clarke!” Lexa dove for it. “No!”

Lexa’s sudden move just made Clarke go faster.

“Well, well, well,” Clarke said, smiling broadly.  She pulled a stuffed gorilla out from under the blanket where it was badly hidden. “And who is this?”

“Put it back,” Lexa whined as she buried her face in her comforter.

“Not a chance,” Clarke said. She looked at it from every angle, “...just...why?”

“I’ve had that since I was a baby,” Lexa admitted, rolling onto her side. “It’s fragile.”

“You sleep with a monkey?”

“I don’t sleep with a monkey,” Lexa said. “It just sort of hangs out in my bed.”

“Sure.”

“I can sleep without it,” Lexa claimed. “I just never have to.”

“Oh, you can?”

“Yep.” Lexa made an unsuccessful attempt to grab it. “I slept with you, didn’t I?”

“You wish,” Clarke countered as she sat on the monkey and smiled. “It’s mine, now.”

“Slept,” Lexa corrected.  Her grabbing for the stuffed animal had brought her in closer. Her only defense seemed to be to try to lean on Clarke enough to push her off. No dice. “I meant actual sleeping.”  

Clarke just laughed, slapping at her. “Get off!”

“I’m not sure we’re at that place yet,” Lexa joked.

Clarke let her continue her fruitless task before whispering directly in Lexa’s ear. “What’s her name?”

It must have caused a brief short-circuit because Lexa just breathed rather heavily before asking, “Who?”

“The monkey, Lexa,” Clarke chuckled.  She pulled away, at the same time handing over the animal. “What’s her name?”

“Oh, how do you know it’s a girl?” Lexa asked as she accepted her gorilla back.

“You only sleep with girls,” Clarke answered nonchalantly. “Educated guess.”

“Pauna.”

“Pauna?”

“I was, like, barely one when I named her,” Lexa defended, “get off Baby Lexa’s back.”

Lexa tucked Pauna back under her pillows when they both heard a loud rustling downstairs.

“Who is that?” Clarke sprang off the bed like she was a teenager about to get caught by her parents.

“Probably Aden,” Lexa shrugged. “I was waiting for him to get home from school.”

“What should I do?”

“What do you mean, what should you do?” Lexa asked.

“Should I hide?”

“Do you want to hide?” Lexa asked her.

“Is this going to be weird? Clarke seemed genuinely worried.

“Yes,” Lexa said. “Very.”

“Pretend nothing happened.”

Lexa laughed, “Nothing did happen, Clarke.”

“Lex?” Aden pushed the door open to her bedroom. “Are you read-” He stopped short when he noticed the stranger in the room.  Only, it wasn’t exactly a stranger.  He knew exactly who she was.

“Clarke,” he said.  He looked at Lexa, then back at Clarke, then back at Lexa, then back at Clarke. “Should I go to Uncle Gus’s?”

“No!” Lexa popped off the bed, putting distance between them. “No, no. It’s nothing like that.”

“Looks like something like that, Lex.”

“It’s not,” Clarke said. “We were just talking.”

“I thought you  _ weren’t _ talking?” Aden asked Lexa.

“We weren’t,” Lexa said to him, then glanced at Clarke. “Maybe we are now?”

“We are,” Clarke confirmed. “We’re talking.”

“Talking about what?”

“Global warming and the effects on polar ice caps,” Lexa answered, then guided him toward the door. “What the hell does it matter to you?”

“It’s a fair question,” Aden insisted.

“It is,” Clarke spoke up, surprising both of them. “It’s a fair question.  Our relationship does affect him...will affect him.  You should introduce us.”

“What?” Lexa was taken aback by the request.

“We should do this right,” Clarke said. “Introduce us.”

“I’m not sure that...uh...” Lexa didn’t know why she was worried.  She couldn’t pinpoint why this felt like an official meeting-of-the-brother when they were so far from being at an official meeting-of-the-brother point.  “You two already know each other.”

“No, we don’t,” Clarke said.

Aden was agitated by her reluctance and spurred her on. “Just do it, Lex.”

“Yeah, Lex,” Clarke winked at him.  

Lexa saw it.  She knew in that precise moment that this would be a formidable pair.  Her world sharply and suddenly took a more rounded shape, smoother somehow.

“Fine,” Lexa acquiesced. “Aden, this Clarke Griffin,” Lexa pointed to her, “she’s a  _ friend _ of mine.  She just got back from the campaign trail where she was presumably shaking hands and kissing babies.”

“Hi, Aden,” Clarke extended her hand.

“Clarke Griffin,” Lexa continued. “This is Aden Thomas Beckett, my younger brother.  He plays soccer, knows how to build a baking soda volcano, and eats all the food in the house.”

“Vinegar,” Aden smiled, showing his pearly whites, and shook her hand.

“Gross,” Clarke said.

“With the volcano, I don’t eat it.”

“Oh,” she gave him a chin jut in acknowledgement. “I get it.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Aden shared.

Clarke shot a look to Lexa, who just shrugged her shoulders. “We have to go,” Lexa said. “It’s Aden’s first day on the job.”

“Really?” Clarke asked him. “How much is she paying you?”

“Eight bucks an hour.”

“More than she paid me,” Clarke commented.

Lexa tousled her brother’s hair. “Yeah, well, Aden hasn’t torched the place...yet.”

“Stop!” Aden yelled, immediately trying to get his locks back in order.

The three of them all travelled down the stairs, put on their respective coats and walked out the front door.  Lexa locked it, double-checked for security from the outside and hopped down the three steps that led down to the sidewalk.

She looked over to Clarke, who was matching her pace for pace. “Sorry we were interrupted.”

“It’s fine.”

“Can I call you?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said.

She pulled out her keys and unlocked her SUV, noticing Aden pulling open one of the back doors.  “What’s he doing?” she asked herself.  She settled herself into her seat when she noticed Clarke hopping in the passenger side.  Lexa looked down her driveway, finding Clarke’s car. “Uh, are you going with us?”

“Yep.”

“Cool,” Aden said, like he had anticipated it.

Lexa gave Aden a look in the rearview. “Seat belt.”  She looked at Clarke, “You’re not going to follow?”

“Nope,” she answered. “Let’s go. Aden doesn’t want to be late.”

“Making dat mun-nay!” he exclaimed.

So they drove.  Or, Lexa drove while Clarke and Aden played several games of rap battle and they both fawned over some musician that Lexa had never even heard of.  It was quite the experience.  She kinda loved it.  Well, she did until Aden started asking questions.

“So, are you two together now?”

“A, dude.” Lexa wanted to jump out of the moving car into oncoming traffic. “No, Clarke and I are friends.”

Clarke turned around her in seat and faced the boy. “Not yet, Aden,” she answered his question. “We have stuff to talk about it. Still a little mad, not gonna lie.”

“She’s sorry,” Aden said. “Did you she tell you that?”

“She did.”

“She really is,” he said.

“Alright, Aden-”

“She likes you a lot,” Aden continued. “She has since you tried to burn the tree farm down.”

“A!”

“I like her a lot, too,” Clarke said, still focusing solely on Aden. “Since she gave me the new hire tour.”

“Will I get the tour?” Aden asked Lexa.

“You know all the stops,” Lexa answered.

“Has she told you she brushes her teeth like ten times a day?” Aden inquired. “‘Cause she does.”

“I didn’t know that,” Clarke said. “But I have seen her monkey.”

“Seriously?” Aden was shocked. “She never shows anybody her monkey!”

“Nobody?” Clarke asked Lexa with a smirk. “Nobody else has ever seen your monkey?”

Lexa gave her a warning glare, mindful of Aden watching them. “Two people.”

“Only two?”

“Only two.”

“Besides me,” Aden reminded her. “And Mom and Dad and Uncle Gus.”

“Yeah,” Lexa smiled. “Except for those people.”

“Well, I’m honored to be in such great company,” Clarke said.

 

 

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


Clarke was wholly impressed by the tree farm when they arrived.  Lincoln and Anya had it decorated to the max.  The office building and the warehouse were all decked out in lights and it looked like Christmas on steroids.

“Wow, you really go all out,” she commented.

“We sell Christmas trees, Clarke,” Lexa said. “It’s our business to go all out.”

“You must really love the holiday.”

Lexa shook her head hard. “God, no,” she said adamantly. “It’s too damn stressful.  It’s our peak time and I’ve got to make enough money for the whole year in a month and a half.  This is the worst for me.  I hate it.”

When the trio entered the main office building, there were definitely some looks.  Clarke hadn’t been seen in these parts for months and most everyone had heard there had been a falling out.  No two stories were alike, but everyone knew.

Lincoln was the first to approach, eyes silently asking what was up. “Clarke, didn’t expect you here today.”

“Didn’t expect to be here today.”

“They’re talking,” Aden informed the man. “Lexa said she was sorry, Clarke is still a little mad, and they’re going to talk about it.”

“That’s enough,” Lexa told him. “Why did I think it was a good idea for you to work here?”

“We’re going to find something to do,” Lincoln said, putting Aden in a headlock and pulling him along.

“Yeah, you do that,” Lexa said.

“Miss Griffin,” Indra greeted Clarke. “I see that you’re back.”

“I am,” Clarke said and pointed to the bald guy who seemed to be pouring over documents in Indra’s office. “Who’s that?”

“Titus Flamenkemper,” Lexa answered. “My accountant.”

“Having a tat on your head is bold for an accountant,” Clarke observed.

“We’re living dangerously on the tree farm,” Lexa said as she headed toward the back exit.

As they made the quick trek across the land to the warehouse, Clarke cringed at meeting Anya along the way.

“Hey,” Lexa greeted her. “How’s it looking today?”

“So far, so good,” Anya said. “It’s picked up a bit this afternoon. So much that I’m going to talk to Indra about upping some orders.”

“She’s with Titus now, so leave it on my desk,” Lexa instructed her. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Okay,” Anya said to Lexa before turning her attention to Clarke. “You here to drag my Spruces into the warehouse?”

“She’s here as my guest,” Lexa said, cutting off whatever harassment Anya was sure to throw at Clarke.

“Too bad,” Anya called as she went in the opposite direction. “Would’ve been fun to watch.”

When they entered the warehouse, Clarke was in awe of how much it had been transformed from the large concrete void that had existed last Spring.  It was full of color and scented with the rich smell of pine.  There were trees stacked up all over and they had built in the areas where the shops were now on display.

“This is amazing,” she commented.

“Not bad this year,” Lexa said. “The crew did a great job.”

Clarke did a circle and took it all in, stopping on one thing in particular.  “Do you know there’s a busty blonde woman singing Feliz Navidad in the corner?” Clarke asked after checking everything out.

“I’m aware,” Lexa told her. “I hired her to do that.”

And so it went, Clarke always within arm’s reach of Lexa.  She followed her everywhere.  She watched as Lexa took stock of all the inventory in the warehouse.  She was with Lexa when she went through all her paperwork and made various phone calls from her office.  She even accompanied Lexa on her walk through the farm and was genuinely delighted by how much like a politician Lexa could sound when she would interact with her customers.

“You’re kind of amazing,” Clarke told her as the day was winding down and Lexa was busying clicking away on her laptop.

Lexa stopped typing, fingers hovering over the keyboard.  She looked at Clarke in a way that Clarke felt physically, like a warmth had blanketed her. “So are you, Clarke.”

  
  


 

* * *

  
  
  
  


Lexa watched Aden as she shuffled up the driveway, dragging just a bit from his work day.  She waited until he had disappeared to address Clarke. “It’s late.”

Clarke rubbed at her eyes, obviously tired as well. “Yeah, it is.”

Lexa watched her intently, worry starting to form deep in her gut. “Maybe you should stay.  It’s going to take you an hour to get home.  You can have my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Can I sleep with Pauna?” Clarke asked with a grin.

“No,” Lexa said.  And she was absolutely, 100% serious.

“Wow.”

“Pauna goes where I do.”

“Then I guess I’m sleeping with you,” Clarke said and she crawled out of Lexa’s car and followed the same path as Aden had taken a few moments before.

They didn’t talk about the implications of what was happening.  They both seemed completely fine with it.  Whatever peace the day had brought, they were happy to maintain.  Clarke followed Lexa to her room this time.  There was no awkwardness hanging over them, they just were.

“You think it’s alright with Aden if I stay?”

“Aden doesn’t make the rules around here,” Lexa told her. “But considering he fell in love with you today, I doubt that he’ll care.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

Lexa beamed at news. “Good.”

“Can I borrow some pjs?” Clarke asked her sweetly.

“Sure.”

Lexa rooted around in her drawers for a minute before pulling some clothes out for both of them.  “You can have my bathroom, I’ll use the other one.”

A few minutes and two quick showers later, Clarke leaned on the vanity watching Lexa brush her teeth.  “Watching you work was fun,” she said. “I never got to before.”

Lexa nodded, but never stopped brushing.

“They really respect you.”

“Auz gwud, eh gwis.”

Clarke really didn’t understand a damn word of that, so she asked, “Do you have an extra toothbrush?”

“I have six of them,” Lexa answered after spitting the toothpaste out. She promptly produced one from a drawer.

“Thanks,” Clarke said as she began her own nightly ritual.

Lexa wiped the toothpaste off with a towel and watched Clarke in the mirror.  She reached out to touch Clarke’s drying hair. “Red’s coming out.”

“Maybe not my best look,” Clarke said after dropping her newly acquired toothbrush next to Lexa’s.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were tucked into Lexa’s bed surrounded by black.

“I’m glad I came by today,” Clarke whispered after a while.  “I wanted to sooner, but I knew all I had to do was see you, and I would...I wanted to hang onto the anger.  I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

“I swear you can trust me,” Lexa said as she stared into the darkness.  She rolled over to her side, squishing Pauna, but reaching out to touch Clarke’s arm. “I know that I fucked up.  I’ve been paying for it for months. There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t wished that I had just talked to you. Told you how I felt.”

“I still would have gone.”

“And I would’ve learned to be okay with it.”

“Would you?”

“I want to be with you, Clarke,” Lexa said sincerely. “I’ve been waiting for months to be with you.  To have a chance with you.  I know that, without a doubt.  I won’t let you down again.  You said you were thinking about me this whole time? God, Clarke. I was thinking about you almost every second.  I want you. I want to make you happy.  I want to figure this out and enjoy this.  Because, I think you and I could be...I feel like whatever it is, and maybe it’s crazy, but I think we’re meant to be.”

“I know,” Clarke said. “I know what you’re trying to say.”

“I didn’t know if that was too much.”

“It’s a lot.”

“I just meant, I’m committed to this,” Lexa said. “I’m not saying we should get married or anything.

“Married?” Clarke asked.  The sheets ruffled as Clarke rolled to face her.

“I’m  _ not _ saying that.”

“You just said that.”

“I said I didn’t say that,” Lexa argued.

“But you said it,” Clarke pointed out. “You can’t just drop that word.”

“I didn’t,” Lexa continued. “I did the opposite of that.”

“You did the reverse opposite of that.”

“We’re not getting married.”

“Well, that’s kinda harsh,” Clarke said. It was mostly a joke, but she did feel a tinge of sadness at Lexa saying it.

“I meant now.”

“What you just said, though, it felt a little like a proposal.”

“It wasn’t,” Lexa promised. “You’ll know it when I propose.”

“So, that’s something you’re planning?”

“Go to sleep, Clarke!”


	12. Share the Clowns

Waking up in Lexa’s bed was pretty freaking awesome. Honestly. Clarke would recommend it to anyone (and then she would drop kick them out of a fifty floor tower, but that’s neither here nor there.)  The comfort level was top notch.  She hadn’t slept so peacefully in months, maybe years.  Clarke really needed to check out the brand of Lexa’s mattress, because sleeping on it was a damn joy.  They may have to talk about the pink zebra print sheet set that adorned the puffy, dreamy mattress, but ultimately she could live with it.  (One thing Clarke would splurge on is high thread counts. Their future sheets would be all about those warps and wefts.)  The one thing gnawing at her this morning was that Lexa was absent, nowhere to be found.  And that was less than ideal.

She rolled over to Lexa’s side and hugged her pillow, she smiled when she felt Pauna hidden underneath.  Clarke pulled out the monkey, putting her nose to the plastic one on the toy.  She looked it over, noticing a younger Lexa’s signature on its foot in barely there black marker.  Clarke imagined little Lexa writing carefully on her favorite toy before stuffing it back under the pillow where she got it.  She pulled the comforter up, it smelled like Lexa here.  It was almost blissful.  She reached up to the nightstand beside the bed and tapped her index finger on the book that rested there.  She leaned up just enough to read the spine of Vonnegut’s  _ Cat’s Cradle _ . Lexa probably read before bed. It seemed like a very Lexa thing to do.  

She heard the faint sounds of dishes clanking and Aden and Lexa carrying on a conversation below her.  She should probably get up and get going.  She had already been here much longer than anticipated.  She padded quickly along the hardwood and into Lexa’s bathroom, finding the toothbrush that she’d been gifted the night before.  She almost laughed at their toothbrushes sharing the same cup.  Clarke found Lexa’s glasses and slipped them on, squinting at her distorted vision.  “Damn, girl,” she said out loud. “You can’t see a thing, can you?”  She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.  It was surreal that she was standing in this spot after months of not speaking.  She suddenly felt a wave of emotion at the idea that they were really going to get a second chance.

Clarke quickly changed back into her clothing from the day before and made her way downstairs.  She knew that the Becketts were in the kitchen, and she really just wanted to stick her head in to say goodbye.  It was meant to be a quick exchange and she’d leave them to their regular routine.  It didn’t quite happen that way, because Aden saw her coming.

“She’s up, Lex!” he said. There was a heaping plate of pancakes before him on the table and he was pouring on maple syrup like it was going out of style.  Clarke heartily enjoyed the way his normally carefully coiffed hair was sticking up in twenty different directions.

“Nice hair,” she said, teasingly.

“Don’t hate,” he warned. He brushed a hand through his unruly mop.  “I’m letting it breathe right now.”

“He superglues it,” Lexa said with her back turned to Clarke. She turned just in time to see Lexa flip a pancake.

“It’s control paste, Alexandria,” Aden said. “How many times to I have to tell you that?”

“Whatever,” she dismissed him. She winked at Clarke, “How many you want?”

“You don’t have to make me breakfast,” Clarke answered.  “I was just on my way out.”

“Why?” Lexa sounded worried. “Is something wrong?”

“No.”

“She makes pretty good pancakes,” Aden said, finally digging into his own.

“I do,” Lexa said, pointing the spatula at Aden in confirmation.  “I mix batter with the best of them.”

“I’m sure you do,” Clarke said, smirking.  She watched Lexa, clad in a threadbare white t-shirt, expertly man the griddle.  Her curiosity was piqued when she noticed the faint outline of a tattoo down Lexa’s spine. “But...I, uh, don’t want to overstay...my welcome...you know, or anything.”

Lexa shook her head, stacked the pancakes on a plate and carried them over to the table.  She pulled out the chair across from Aden.  She walked back to where Clarke was standing barely in the room and held her hand out, waiting for Clarke to take it.  Once she did, Lexa laced their fingers together. “Stay. Eat. Enjoy.”

Lexa pulled her to the table and deposited her in the kitchen chair.  She couldn’t help notice to sly grin on Aden’s face and he pushed the syrup toward her.  “Blueberry pancakes. She’s trying to impress you.”

“Oh?”

“But, I wasn’t supposed to say that,” Aden laughed at the look his sister was giving him. “Or ask anything inappropriate about why you’re still here this morning”

“So, that’s what you guys were discussing earlier?” Clarke asked him.  “She was shutting down the question and answer session.”

Lexa sat in the seat next to Clarke with her own food. She also somehow managed to carry over two glasses of orange juice. “He’s really nosy. It’s incredibly annoying.”

“He’s a little brother,” Clarke said, accepting the drink. “He’s supposed to be incredibly annoying.”

“Thanks for understanding me,” Aden said, still chuckling.

“You’re welcome,” Clarke told him, taking a bite.  Her eyes lit up and she swallowed. “Wow, these are good.”

“Told ya,” Aden commented.

“Eat your breakfast,” Lexa demanded. “We have errands to run this morning before driving down to the farm.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re coming tonight, right?” Aden asked Clarke.

“What’s tonight?”

“A,” Lexa interrupted the conversation. “Clarke probably has her own plans with her family.”

“It’s Thanksgiving at the farm,” Aden continued, ignoring his sister. “We throw a pre-Thanksgiving dinner for everybody.  Lexa does it every year.”

“Our dad did it. It’s sort of a kick-off to the season gathering,” Lexa was quick to say. “Just continuing tradition.”

“I’d love to come,” Clarke snuck a peek at Lexa for a reaction. She directed her comments to Aden, “That is if your sister is okay with that.”

“Absolutely,” Lexa said, trying to fight a smile and failing miserably. “You should...if you’re free.”

“I am,” Clarke said. “I will.”

Breakfast was mostly a fun affair with teasing abound between Lexa and Aden.  And Aden and Clarke.  And some innocent flirty fun between Lexa and Clarke, with Aden teasing them about that.  It was over much too soon and Clarke was standing to clear her plate.

“I’ll get that.”

“I got it,” Clarke said, walking her dish over to the sink.

“Thanks.”

“I never get a ‘thanks,’” Aden complained.

“You live here, doofus,” Lexa said.

“Well, as much fun as it is listen in on the Beckett banter,” Clarke said. “I have to be going.”

“See ya later!” Aden said, stuffing another pancake down.

Lexa walked her out, hand resting on the small of her back. “Hey, I’m sorry I wasn't there when you woke up,” she said as they left the room.

“It’s fine,” Clarke said. “I wish you had been, but it’s fine.”

“Yeah,” Lexa swallowed. “I just didn’t know if it would be awkward.  And I didn’t want Aden to come in looking for me...and for you to be embarrassed or...whatever.  I’m sorry.”

“Lexa,” Clarke waited until the other woman looked her in the eye. “It’s fine. We’ll have other mornings.”

“You really have to go home?” Lexa asked, barely audible, as they hovered at the front door.  “You’re welcome to hang out with us again today.”

“Just follow you around?” Clarke tugged at the knotted drawstring in Lexa’s loose fitting sweats.

“If that’s what you want to do,” Lexa said. “That’s fine with me.”

“I can’t,” Clarke said, leaning in.  She rested her forehead on Lexa’s collarbone and wrapped the drawstring once around her hand, pulling Lexa even closer.

“Why not?”

“Hey!” Aden appeared around the corner, causing Clarke to take a step back.

“Yeah?” Lexa nearly growled.

“I’m going to shower,” he informed them.

“Half an hour, Aden,” Lexa called to him as he ran up the stairs.

“ _ Half an hour, Aden _ ,” Clarke mocked her bossy tone. “You’re such a hard ass.”

“Somebody has to be,” she said.

“Yeah,” Clarke stepped forward and quickly kissed her cheek. “Guess so.”

Lexa beamed. “See you later?”

“You definitely will.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“My professor seems worried that I keep incorporating safe rooms into my home design,” Octavia said as she Raven took a seat at their favorite cafe.

“Hm, well I guess it is a bit of a quirk, O,” Raven pointed out as she tore off a piece of their shared cinnamon roll.

“I feel like it’s a necessity,” Octavia told her. “I feel a compulsion to have a safe space hidden away.”

“You did play a lot of hide-n-seek as a kid,” Raven said.

“And I was born on the subway,” Octavia recalled. “That might have something to do with it.”

“Hey,” Clarke announced her presence, sliding into the booth next to Raven. “Morning BFFs.”

“And speaking of people who didn’t come home last night...” Raven said.

“Who else didn’t come home last night?”

“Just you,” Octavia grinned widely.

“Cinnamon roll?” Raven offered, pointing to the pastry in the middle of table. “No raisins.”

“No, thank you,” Clarke said, shrugging off her coat. “Actually, Lexa made me breakfast.”

“Whoo!” Octavia pumped her fist. “First comes love, then comes breakfast.”

“Wait, wait!” Raven half-turned in the booth. “When you were storming out yesterday, I thought you were going to end it once and for all.  You said it was time to move on with your life.”

Clarke rested her chin in hands, as she propped her elbows on the table. “Yeah, that was my initial plan. But, c’mon, did anybody buy that?”

“No,” Raven said.

Octavia wasn’t fooled either. “Not even for a second.”

“How was it?” Raven asked, just dying for details. “Tell us all about it.”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Clarke said. “We’re talking it out.”

“Talking?” Raven asked. “What’s to talk about?”

“Just stuff.”

“But you stayed for breakfast?” Octavia was confused. “So you were there all night?”

“Yeah,” Clarke answered. “I slept there.”

“Did you actually sleep?”

“Ye-es.”

“Where?”

“In her bed,” Clarke answered.

Octavia leaned closer, “And where did she sleep?”

“Also, in her bed.”

“Seriously, what’s with you guys sleeping together and not fucking?” Raven asked, disappointed by the lack of action.

“Real question: Why are you more disappointed about that than I am?”

“Probably because for you sex is imminent,” Raven said. “And I’m in a slump.”

“Why?” Clarke asked, appalled, hand to her chest and everything.

“Because I’m in a feelings place,” Raven answered.

“She wants a relationship, but she’s too much of a chicken shit to admit it,” Octavia clarified.

“Shut yo mouth!” Raven exclaimed. “You’ll jinx it.”

“Okay fine,” Octavia made the universal zipping motion to signal that she was done talking about it.  She addressed Clarke instead. “So, you’re taking another crack at it?”

“We’re going to get to know each other.”

“I heard the best way to do that was fingersmithing,” Raven said, after swallowing another bite of roll. “Just putting it out there.”

Octavia added, “I've only played once, but it was fun.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “O, I don't want to invalidate your life experiences, but I know the circumstances and you were not getting the full effect.”

“She’s right,” Raven said. “Making out with a chick in a closet and accidentally falling on a hockey stick does not a lesbian make.”

“Neither of you are lesbians, either,” Octavia said, mildly accusatory.

“Say what you will,” Raven shrugged.

“I just want Lexa,” Clarke answered. “I’m wherever that falls on the Kinsey scale.”

“Sure, sure. I need some more coffee,” Octavia said, sliding out. “Clarke, you want anything?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Clarke peered up at the menu quickly.  “I like my coffee like I like my Disney Princesses.”

O looked downright puzzled. “Huh?”

“On ice,” Clarke deadpanned.

“Oh-kay,” Octavia said and shuffled off.

When Raven didn’t stop staring at her for the amount of lameness she just spewed, Clarke went onto explain, “Lexa made that joke yesterday. I thought it was hilarious and I’m testing out whether she’s really funny or she’s only funny because I like her so much.”

“You like her a lot,” Raven said. “A whole, whole lot.”

“I do, I do.”

Octavia was back after two shakes, handing over a cup. “I hope this is what you were asking for. It was either iced coffee or dead coffee...I went with the easiest to order.”

“So, I’m going to pre-Thanksgiving at the farm,” Clarke said. “Do you guys know anything about that?”

“Yeah,” Octavia said. “Lincoln usually goes every year. He said it’s mostly a work thing, but I’m going to go with him. Are you?”

“Yeah,” Clarke answered. “Aden invited me, and I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“Sure,” Raven said. “Don’t want to disappoint Aden.”

“And there’s the added bonus of seeing Lexa,” Clarke admitted.  

“I’m down for it,” Raven said. “Let’s go buy forty-two cans of cranberry sauce.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

“Does anyone even like cranberry sauce?” Aden asked as he dropped an armload of cans into the cart. “Because I’ve never seen anybody actually eat it.”

Lexa thought about it.  She had never seen anybody actually eat it either. “It’s traditional, A. I don’t know.  We’re getting it. It’s on the list.”

“Who made the list?”

“Indra.”

“Fine,” Aden said, knowing not to argue with Indra’s suggestions. He slowed up to match his pace with Lexa, glancing over at her a couple of times before she stopped and looked back.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Spill it.”

“You’re happier today,” he finally said.  

“I’m happy everyday.”

“That’s fake happy, this is real happy.”

Lexa wanted to argue with that, but she really couldn’t. “Yeah, I am.”

“I like her, Lex,” Aden said. “She’s awesome.  And nice.  And she’s hot-”

“Watch it, little brother-” Lexa stopped him.

“She’s beautiful,” he amended with a grin. “That better?”

“More respectful,” she said. “She’s both.”

“You’re okay with me inviting her tonight, right?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Lexa said as she eyed the last turkey in the refrigerated section.  She steered her cart over to collect it. “I’m glad you did. I hadn’t worked up the courage to do it, yet.”

“I’ve achieved wingman status,” Aden proclaimed, hands raised.  He received a high five and a hearty congratulations from a passing greasy haired, stoner looking employee with  _ Nick _ stitched onto his shirt for his efforts.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


 

Clarke fidgeted in the backseat of Octavia’s car, still unable to get completely comfortable.  She was nervous.  She had breakfast with Lexa less than ten hours ago.  There was no reason to be nervous, she told herself.  Lexa had probably seen her at stage four drool this morning and she still seemed to like her.

“Do I look okay?” she quietly asked Raven again.

“You mean does that blazer accentuate your boobs?” Raven asked her. “If so the answer is a resounding yes.”

Clarke looked down, proud of the fact that she could keep her cell phone in her cleavage if she so desired.

It wasn’t any time before O was pulling off the road into the parking lot of the tree farm and they were all piling out.

“I’m going to find Lex,” Clarke said immediately breaking from the pack. “I’ll find you guys in a few, okay?”

Clarke walked in the opposite direction, heading for the office building instead of the warehouse.  Somehow she knew that’s where Lexa would be hiding out.  She was probably letting Gustus and Aden schmooze the guests.  

“What is all over your face?” Clarke asked as soon as Lexa turned around to see who had stepped into her office.

“Oh, uh,” Lexa took a swipe at her cheeks with her forearm.  She faced Clarke fully, “Did that help?”

“No,” Clarke said. “You look like a raccoon.”

“Noted,” Lexa said, now back to work on the printer in her office.  She had the thing in several different pieces, scattered about. “I’m having a toner issue.”

“Was the issue that you put your face in it?”

“It’s not helping, that’s for sure.”

Clarke peered over Lexa’s shoulder, watching intently.  “Shouldn’t that thingy go back into that slot?”

She saw Lexa’s jaw grind a bit. “Yeah, Clarke, but this thing,” Lexa held up a plastic cartridge,  “should be in there somewhere, too.”

“Probably there,” Clarke pointed.

Where exactly, Lexa had no idea.  It was all a big printery void. “Where?”

“There,” Clarke pointed at nothing again.

Lexa got on her knees to get eye level and studied it.  “You look great, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Clarke said, still hovering over Lexa as they both investigated.  “You look amazing, too.”

“I don’t look any different,” Lexa said, shoving the cartridge randomly into the space.

“You always look amazing,” Clarke stated casually as she pulled the paper tray out a little further like maybe that was the answer all along.

“You should take that off,” Lexa said.

“Huh?”  Clarke’s heart sped up.

“Your jacket,” Lexa clarified. “I don’t want to get ink on it.”

“Oh.”  Clarke obliged by removing the garment and hanging it on the back of Lexa’s ridiculous throne chair.

“I think I’m going to have to get a new one,” Lexa said, pursing her lips. “It’s fucked.”

“Let me see if I can fix it,” Clarke said, using her hip to push Lexa out of the way.

“I know you’re driven to fix everything for everyone, but you can’t fix this.”  Lexa must have been determined to see to it that Clarke couldn’t, seeing as she was ramming two plastic pieces into one another.

“Like hell, I can’t,” Clarke said adamantly, up for the challenge.  “Give it to me.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, but did as she was told.  “Fine, try. I’m going to wash my face...and hands...and elbows.”

When Lexa came back, the printer looked to be in one piece. “Wow, you fixed it?”

Clarke nodded, but said, “No, I just closed the compartment door thingy and shoved all those pieces in your desk drawer.  I did call the maintenance number and requested a service call, though. They should be getting back to you with a time on Friday.  So, in a way, yes, I fixed it.”

Lexa smiled and crossed the room to get to where Clarke had just settled her jacket back onto her shoulders.  Lexa reached out and buttoned it, like she had it before.  She shamelessly appreciated the delightful view for a second.  “I’m glad you came,” she said finally.

“Me, too.”

Clarke picked an imaginary piece of fuzz off of Lexa’s shirt and took that opportunity to let her fingers trail down Lexa’s arm. “So, I heard you had an interesting day.  Besides the printer.”

“What did you hear?”

“Did you fight a guy for the last Butterball turkey?”

“It wasn’t a fight,” Lexa immediately drew up in defense. “There was minor disagreement.  He thought he should have it.  Then his mother came by and was talking all kinds of smack about me and then  _ him _ .  It was a mess. So, I just took one of those big ass carving forks and speared it right out of the bin.”

“I heard you yelled a little.”

“I didn’t yell,” Lexa disagreed. “I opposed forcefully.”

“I got a snapchat that begs to differ.”

“How?”

“Aden.”

“Why are you and Aden snapchatting?” Lexa asked.  “When? And How?”

“We’re bonding,” Clarke said. “Just let it happen.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


 

Clarke was surprised by the amount of people milling about in the giant space that was the warehouse.  She knew that Lexa had multiple businesses and obligations, but seeing all her employees and associates, plus families, was overwhelming.

“This is a big deal,” she said to Lexa right after they stepped inside the building.

“It’s the one time a year everyone gets together,” Lexa said.  

Clarke took in the rows of tables and centerpieces.  It was downright classy. “Did you do all this?”

“I helped,” Lexa smiled. “The whole production has really become more Indra’s baby.  She makes the plan and then directs the traffic.”

Clarke looked into the crowd and sure enough, Indra was busy doing just that.

“Hey, how’s it going?” she was distracted by Raven, who had noticed them arrive. It took her a second to realize that Raven wasn’t talking to her.  In fact, Raven had given Lexa a quick one-armed hug.

“It’s going,” Lexa answered the question. “Hope tonight happens without a hitch.”

“Everybody seems to be having a good time,” Raven said.  “You look better than the last time we talked.”

Lexa shyly peered at Clarke and nodded. “I feel better.”

Clarke regarded them both. She had learned in the past few weeks that Lexa and Raven had become pals, but it was a little strange to her to actually see it in person.

“I hope you don’t mind me crashing your work event,” Raven said. “I’m Clarke’s date.”

“And here I thought Clarke was my date,” Lexa said.  

“Actually, I’m pretty sure I’m Aden’s date, technically.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that, he’ll tell everybody,” Lexa warned her.  “Hey, I’m going to go make sure Indra’s all set, okay?”

“Okay,” Clarke said. “Go ahead.”

Lexa paused a second, like she was stuck to the floor.  “Uh...” she grabbed Clarke’s hand and squeezed it. “I’ll be back. You’ll be okay?”

“Of course,” Clarke said, red coloring her cheeks. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

“What was that?” Raven asked as they watched her walk away.

“What?”

“I haven’t seen you so smitten since you gave that valentine to Ms. Cartwig in junior high.”

“Don’t even play,” Clarke said, with a dreamy look on her face. “The way that woman explained the branches of government, though. Damn.”

“Who is that?” Raven’s question broke Clarke from her trance.

“Who?”

“Red dress?”  

Clarke craned her neck to check it out, but didn’t see anybody. “Who, Rae?”

“Nevermind,” Raven was already on the prowl. “Catch ya later.”

Left alone, Clarke checked out the space.  It was sprawling and lit up with the warm, twinkly glow of Christmas lights.  She scanned for Lexa quickly, but didn’t see her.  Probably better, she thought.  She didn’t want to be too clingy, this was a work night for Lexa.  Clarke decided instead of just standing around, rocking her blazer, that it was time for a pre-dinner refreshment.

“Did you take another non-job here or something?” Anya asked as Clarke passed by.  She was sitting, legs crossed, enjoying a glass of wine.

“No,” Clarke said as she stopped in front of her. “Just Lexa and Aden’s guest.”

Anya was obviously annoyed by her answer. “Now you’ve got Aden spun in your web as well?”

“There are no webs, Anya.”

Anya stood so suddenly that Clarke was forced backward. “Last time you were hanging out around here, you brought nothing but destruction.  Literally and metaphorically. So, you’ll forgive me for being none too pleased about your reappearance.”

Clarke was trying to formulate an answer when she felt a heavy arm around her shoulders. “Anya, why don’t you have another glass while I steal Clarke?” she was comforted by Lincoln’s voice.  

“Take her as far away as you want,” Anya said, reclaiming her seat.

They were a few steps away before Lincoln released her. “You didn’t look like you were having fun.”

“I felt like I was seconds away from a beat down,” Clarke said.

“Nah,” Lincoln dismissed that idea. “She’s protective of Lexa.  She tries to look out for her like an older sister.  Anya just doesn’t realize that Lexa doesn’t need that anymore.  But, she does know that Lexa would snap her in half if she ever tried to hurt you.”

“I could take her,” Clarke said, balling her fists.

“Sure you could,” Lincoln agreed, but Clarke could tell he was humoring her.

“Where’s O?”

“With your lady,” Lincoln said, gesturing toward the two of huddled by the drink table.  “They’re talking about the logistics of seating capacity for the wedding.”

Clarke watched the two of them.  They seemed pretty familiar with each other.  “How long have Raven and O and Lexa been on such friendly terms?” she asked.

“Pretty soon after you left,” he said. “They all had a Clarke-shaped hole in their lives.”

While she was thinking that over, Lincoln led her right back to Lexa.

“Everything okay?” Lexa asked, sensing some discomfort coming from Clarke.  She ran her hand down Clarke’s back soothingly. “Hungry?”

“Yeah,” Clarke answered. She decided to save everything else for another day. “I’m starving and everything looks so great.”

“It does,” Lexa said. “Indra outdoes herself every year.”

Clarke imagined Indra fussing over all the details and laughed. “I bet she does.”

Aden suddenly appeared in the middle of the two, effectively pushing them apart.  “I’m  _ not _ sitting by you-know-who.”

“You don’t have to,” Lexa assured him.  “You can sit between me and Clarke.”

Aden shot a very serious look at Clarke, “Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Clarke said, without hesitation.

Clarke waited for Aden to venture back off before asking, “Who’s you-know-who?”

Lexa pivoted and pointed at a brunette across the room. “Ontari,” Lexa answered. “She creeps him out.”

“Why?” Clarke answered, squinting in the aforementioned woman’s direction. “She looks harmless.”

“Uh...” Lexa cocked her head a bit. “Well, a few years ago, Ontari used to work at the deli with Gustus and Aden hung out there quite a bit.  He swears that she took way too much pleasure in butchering the meat. Then he had a recurring dream where she was comparing his head to a head of lettuce and kept saying ‘I win,’” Lexa said. “He had to sleep in my room for two months.”

“So, he’s still afraid of her?”

“Nah, not afraid. Just doesn’t like her,” Lexa nodded. “She’s a real bitch.”

“Then why does she work for you?”

“I can’t fire all the bitches, Clarke,” Lexa said. “Besides, Ontari is pretty good at management. I have her over at the candle shop-”

“Camandle.”

“-and she’s doing a great job over there. Her and her brother, Sasketch are turning it into a mecca for Marylanders who love exotic candle scents.  You know they invented the three wick  bacon-mango-raisin cream canister reloading candle?”  Lexa smiled widely. “God, it’s a beautiful miracle.”

“It kinda smells like moldy leather, though, Lex.”

“Burning moldy leather,” Lexa corrected.  “And a tinge of sweetness from the mango.  It’s also infused with Colorado Blue Spruce tree root.  Little known fact.”

It was then, Octavia momentarily broke away from the conversation she was having with Lincoln. “Lexa, can we get together maybe next week and talk about more about accommodations?”

“Sure, we’ll have lunch,” Lexa said easily before Octavia floated off with her fiance.

“Is it wrong that I’m a little jealous that you’ve become friends with my friends without me?”

Lexa frowned. “Does that bother you?”

“No, not at all,” Clarke said. “I’m not upset it about the fact the you’re friends. That’s great. Really.  I just wish I had been here for it.”

“Do you want us to do a re-enactment?” Lexa asked.  “I can get all sad and mopey and we’ll have Raven try to comfort me by patting my back with a tree branch she found on the ground.  ‘Cause that’s how it all started.”

“Sorry, I said anything.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good,” Lexa said. “I want you to meet somebody really important.”

Clarke knew him immediately when she saw him.  She wasn’t sure how, but she definitely did.

“Augustus Beckett,” Lexa introduced him. “Otherwise known as Uncle Gus.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Clarke said, holding out her hand.

Gustus bypassed that completely and wrapped her up in a hug. “Nice to meet you, as well, Clarke,” he said. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re back...and here...with Lex.”

“Alright, Gus-”

“She’s told me a lot about you,” Gustus continued. “She’s pretty fond of you, Clarke.”

“Gus!” Lexa was starting to get embarrassed.

“She’s told me quite a bit about you, too, Mr. Beckett.”

“No, no, no,” Gus shut down the formality. “You can call me Gustus or Uncle Gus.”

Clarke was saved from making that decision when Indra announced that dinner was served.

What should have been a fine affair was somewhat dampened by sitting across from Nia at one of many dinner tables aligning the warehouse.  Apparently, Nia had chosen her seat methodically, as she had engaged Lexa with the current politics of the dry cleaning business from the onset of dinner.  Clarke, herself, was more fascinated by the pile of bones that appeared on Nia’s place considering there wasn’t many dishes that would have provided such carnage.

That was peppered with Aden’s sudden juking every few minutes to duck behind her.  Every time she asked, he would claim that Ontari had been looking at him.  Clarke really believed that the kid was paranoid until finally she saw it herself.  After Clarke giving her a menacing glare and thumping her fork tines, the looks must have stopped.  Aden regaled her as his hero and they went about eating the fruit cocktail that Lexa was shamefully holding at their side of the table.

In one of the few quiet moments, Clarke leaned behind Aden. “Hey, who’s that woman in the red dress sitting beside Raven?”

Lexa looked down the table, “That’s Alie,” she said. “She’s my pharmacist.”

“Who invites their pharmacist to a work party?”

“We’re pseudo friends,” Lexa said. “She just shows up out of nowhere at these things.  She likes to network and get new clients, I guess.  She’s nice enough, but I see right through her.”

“Well, Rae has taken a liking.”

“From what I hear, she’ll make Raven as happy as she’s ever been.  Even if it’s for just a short amount of time.”

“What’s that mean?” Aden asked.

“Nothing,” both Clarke and Lexa said and turned back to their meals.

Pre-Thanksgiving was a rousing success as always.  Most of the time, the event exhausted Lexa and she was relieved at the end.  This year was different, though.  This year she was bummed that everyone had already vacated the building.  Mainly because that meant Clarke was leaving as well.  Lincoln, Octavia, and Raven had already been in the car for ten minutes and were patiently waiting for Clarke to untangle from her.

“I can help you clean up,” Clarke said, index finger curling around Lexa’s belt loop.

“You’ll miss your ride,” Lexa said, barely above a whisper.

“That wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen,” Clarke giggled.

“No, it wouldn’t,” Lexa said. “You could come stay with me.  And I would let you.  But, we did decide to take some time to get to know each better.  To talk about some things.  And, if you go with me tonight, there’s not going to be any talking.”

“That’s fine,” Clarke flirted. “We don’t have to talk.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?

“Yeah, okay,” Lexa agreed. “Come home with me.”

Clarke stiffened, surprised by the turnaround. “You’re supposed to be the stoic one here.”

“Screw that,” Lexa said. “Nobody ever had any fun being stoic, Clarke.”

“I’m going home, Lex.”

Lexa’s eyes widened. “With me?”

“To  _ my _ home.”

“Figured you would,” Lexa said, pulling her into a hug.

“Good night, Lexa,” Clarke said, finally letting her go.

“Good night, Clarke Griffin.”

Their eyes never left each as Clarke walked backwards to the car where her friends waited.  Lexa continued to watch as the headlights of Octavia’s car disappeared into the night.

“You going to help or are you going to stand out here all night like a love sick puppy?” Indra yelled as she stuck her head out the door.

“I’m coming!” Lexa huffed, trudging back inside.

“That’s what I thought.”


	13. A List of Things That Don't Make Sense

“You answered,” Clarke said, somewhat surprised when she heard a “hello” on the other end of the line.  She was lying face down on her bed, expecting to get yet another voicemail greeting. Lexa’s voice made her nearly roll into the floor in excitement. 

“You call and I answer,” Lexa said. “That’s usually how phones work.”

“Ha,” Clarke said sarcastically. “I wasn’t sure you knew that. I didn’t hear from you all night.”

“I fell asleep waiting on your text.”

“I texted,” Clarke said. “It was just later than I thought it would be.”

“I was  _ asleep _ .”  Lexa drew out the last word for effect.

Clarke chuckled. “Yeah, I got that.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa apologized. “I tried to wait up. It’s just been really busy.  First couple weeks of December is a killer, you know.  So many trees, so little time.”

“I know,” Clarke said. Lexa had warned her continually that she might not be as accessible for the month of December.  

“So how was it?”

Clarke groaned into the phone.  “It was okay. If okay meant torturous.”

“And the guy?”

“Different.”

“What does ‘different’ mean?” Lexa asked. “Not what you expected? Or did he wear a pair of kitty ears on his head and purr instead of talking?”

“He’s not her usual type,” Clarke said after thinking it over. “I kinda liked the guy. He didn’t say a whole lot.  For some reason my mom also invited her oldest friend, Dr. Jaha, and his suddenly single son, Wells.  The evening was rife with Abby and Jaha steamrolling all conversation.”

“Suddenly single son?”

“Wells.”

“How did that go?” Clarke smiled at Lexa’s slightly jealous delivery of the question.

“It was fantastic, I fell in love and now we’re married and expecting twins,” Clarke said as seriously as she could muster. “I just called to ask if we could still be friends.”

“Absolutely,” Lexa answered without missing a beat. “Where should I send your wedding gift?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“Probably a small kitchen appliance,” Lexa said. “I don’t know. Do you have a nut chopper?”

“I’d rather have a juicer.”

“Too bad, you’re getting a nut chopper,” Lexa stated firmly. “You can’t have it all, Clarke.”

“Speaking of having it all, can I come to the farm and hang out with  _ you _ today?”

“That was smooth,” Lexa commented.

“I know,” Clarke said. “But, seriously, it’s been, like, three days since I’ve seen your face. I miss it.”

“Any other time, I would take you up on that offer,” Lexa said, a tinge of regret in her voice. “But, I have to take a little road trip today.”

“I can go with you,” Clarke said hopefully.  “I’ve got nothing going on. When are you leaving?”

“Clarke, it’s a three and a half hour drive one way, it’s going to suck,” Lexa explained. “And I’m just picking up some trees and coming right back.”

“All the more the reason for me to go,” Clarke argued. “It’ll be  _ really _ boring without me.”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Okay,” Lexa said.

“Where do I need to meet you?”

“I’ll come get you,” Lexa said.  “Be ready in an hour.”

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke walked out the front door as soon as she pulled to the curb.  She must have been watching for her.  Lexa couldn’t get over how she always felt that thump in her chest when she was seeing Clarke again.  It always happened.  The thump, the butterflies.  She kinda hoped it always would.  She was especially fond of times like these when she could just watch Clarke move unabashedly.  Clarke’s hips always swayed just so and her breasts always had that delicious little bounce as she took her front steps two at a time.  Although, to be fair, today those assets were mostly covered by a heavy Georgetown hoodie.  And Clarke’s usually bright blue eyes were behind a pair of aviators that she had stolen from Lexa last week.  Clarke must have been fresh from the shower, because Lexa could tell even from a distance that her blonde hair (no more red streaks) was still a bit damp.

The first thing Clarke did after hopping into the truck was lean over the console for a quick kiss on the cheek. “Hey,” she said sweetly.

“Hi,” Lexa replied, not letting her get too far away before pulling her back and responding with a real kiss. It was innocent enough, just a brush of their lips, but Clarke was right. Three days was far too long.

Lexa smiled widely at Clarke’s slight moan as she sat back. “Hello.”

“Thanks.”

“Thank you,” Clarke responded.

“For coming with me,” Lexa said, still sporting a grin. “You’ve made my day better already.”

“Good.” Clarke rubbed her thumb over Lexa’s forearm, grateful to touch her. “Let’s not go three days without seeing each other again.  I don’t like it.”

“Me either.”

Their timing had been quite unfortunate. It also sort of caused them to fall into a relationship limbo in the last couple of weeks.  The holiday, Lexa’s busy season, and an impromptu visit from Clarke’s father had limited their time together.  They had gotten to talk sparingly, but as much as both seemed to be full-steam ahead toward Girlfriends Station, no declarations had been made as of yet.  And while Clarke was ready to get Facebook Official with this whole thing and play catch up later, Lexa was busy making sure everybody was on the same page and all the important boxes had been double-checked.  The ensuing back and forth had only been a slight bone of contention...so far.

“So where are we going?” Clarke asked as she buckled her seat belt.

“Central Virginia.”

“Virginia is for lovers,” Clarke noted.

“That’s what they say,” Lexa said as she pulled into traffic.

“So, we’ve got the Beckett Tree Farm truck today,” Clarke said, checking it out. “Nice.  Never got to ride in here before.”

Lexa grinned at her enthusiasm. “Told ya, we’re picking up some trees.”

“Isn’t that the point of having a tree farm?” Clarke pointed out. “Trees at your disposal.”

Lexa switched lanes before answering. “I have a customer that is interested in some Canaan firs.  Lately, they’ve been trending up in the Christmas tree game.  So, I called around to see where I could get some deep discounts for a few.  This place had the best deal and offered some seedlings as well.  So, we’ll get the customer the trees and we’ll start planting little baby Canaan firs in the backlot.”

“In  _ my _ backlot?”

“Behind the blue spruces,” Lexa said.  “Nothing’s going to interfere with your quarter acre of regeneration.”

“There’s a lot of my blood, sweat and tears in that quarter acre,” Clarke reminded her.  “And I mean that literally.”

“That’s your spot,” Lexa agreed. “Yours to maintain as long as you’re around.”

Clarke grinned at that.  She eyed Lexa’s phone sitting in a cup holder and tapped her finger on it. “Do you mind?”

“Can I trust you not to play Katy Perry’s greatest hits again?”

“It wasn’t Katy Perry’s greatest hits, Lexa.”

“It sounded like Katy Perry’s greatest hits, Clarke.”

“This coming from someone who actually has a playlist called ‘2010’s most emo’ so don’t act all musically superior.”

“I know I’m supposed to be embarrassed, but that playlist is still better than all eight different mixes of California Gurls.”

Clarke would have continued the argument any other day, but after putting in Lexa’s passcode (the day they met, by the way), she saw that Lexa had recently changed the pic on her background.  The corners of her lips curled up without her permission as she reveled in the memory.

“Hey, how’d you get this?” Clarke finally asked, flashing the screen in Lexa’s direction.

Lexa looked over quickly, then back to the road. “Octavia sent it yesterday.”

Clarke smiled at the picture of her and Lexa cuddled up together on the couch taken months ago.  “I deleted it.”

“Huh?”

Clarke took a breath, tapping all the necessary buttons to send herself another copy. “She sent it to me the morning after.  And I deleted it when...well, you know.”

“Oh,” Lexa said, tapping nervously on the steering wheel.  “I thought it was cute.”

“It is.”

“You’re cute.”

“You are.”

“We’re cute,” Lexa voiced.  She looked out over the Potomac as they crossed the bridge.  “Nice day for a drive.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said.  She picked a playlist and dropped the phone back where she had found it. “I agree on both fronts. We’re cute and it’s a nice day.”

“Hey, you didn’t say much about Abby,” Lexa mentioned as she checked her mirrors. “You two get along okay?”

“If you don’t count my being pissed about her obvious setup,” Clarke said. “I’ve known Wells forever, so at least it wasn’t awkward, but still.  She knows what’s up.”

“What’s up?”

“With us.”

“She does?” Lexa asked, looking over to the passenger side. “You’ve told her?”

“Of course, I have,” Clarke said.

“And how does she feel about that?” That was one thing Lexa was really nervous about. “She’s probably really pissed.  And I don’t blame her.  I lied ab-”

“She offered you money to stay away from me like she was the goddamn mob, Lex,” Clarke interrupted. “She’s got no moral objections to claim.”

“I feel bad about it, though,” Lexa said. “And I hope I didn’t exacerbate an already bad situation.”

“You shouldn’t,” Clarke countered. “She would have written that check, so don’t think you cast her in some bad light or something. She was more than willing. She told me so herself.”

“Still...”

“To be fair, she did apologize,” Clarke said. “I don’t know how sincere she was, but she apologized for being such an ass to you.  I told she better get over it because we’re together...will be...”

“We are,” Lexa said.

Clarke’s head snapped around to see what else might be forthcoming, but Lexa stopped there.

Instead she changed the subject. “So what’s the guy, what is it? Marcus? What’s he like?”

“Nice enough,” Clarke answered. “Nicer than her. He’s either a lobbyist for prison reform or a former prisoner. Maybe both. Like I said earlier, Mom and Jaha are blowhards and didn’t really let the rest of us get a word in edgewise. Might as well have been under the table.”

“I’m sure she was glad you were there.”

“I would have rather been hanging out at your place,” Clarke said honestly.

“Nah, I was knee deep in paperwork and then got home just in time to hear all about that miraculous wonder that is Charlotte,” Lexa informed her. “You probably had a better night.”

“He is  _ so _ cute about her.”

“I’m suspicious,” Lexa said, eyes squinting just thinking about it.

“Of Charlotte?” Clarke checked her like she was crazy. “She’s thirteen, Lex.”

“Exactly, Clarke,” Lexa said. “She’s a thirteen year old girl.”

“You’re being way too overprotective,” Clarke warned her. “Is this big sister behavior or are you just naturally suspicious of everyone?”

“Both,” Lexa said. “I’m keeping my eye on her.”

Clarke slapped her knee playfully. “Don’t scare her off.”

“I won’t...,” Lexa swore.  Clarke didn’t miss the barely audible, “on purpose.”

They both watched a car speed by on the left before Clarke clicked her tongue. “Slow down, fucker!”

“I’m taking them to the movies this weekend,” Lexa mentioned a few minutes later.  

“He wants me to go,” Clarke said, beating her to the punch.

“Oh,” Lexa was surprised. “He’s already told you?”

“Thinks it will keep you from embarrassing him too badly,” Clarke said. “He wants me there to distract you.”

“Good plan, little brother,” Lexa acknowledged. “But, I’m pissed at A for always asking you out before I get the chance to.”

“Out?” Clarke was amused. “Like a date chaperoning your little brother’s date?”

“When you say it like that, it sounds pathetic.”

“How else am I supposed to say it?” Clarke asked. “Either way, I’m going.  Whether, it’s a date or not.”

“It is,” Lexa confirmed. “A double date with thirteen year olds.”

“He really wants them to have their space, so I promised that I would try to keep you otherwise engaged,” Clarke added. “Hey, did he get that essay back yet?”

“Yeah,” Lexa answered. “Got an A. Thanks for helping out with that, by the way.  You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

“I didn’t even know you drove all the way over to Gus’s that night. Why didn’t you tell me?” Lexa asked. “Aden told me the next morning when I asked if he finished it.”

“I was promised a free dinner and got to teach Aden about the history of political parties all in one night,” Clarke explained. “Besides, it was the night you were doing your candle inventory. We all figured it was best to leave you alone.”

“Well, we appreciate it,” Lexa said gratefully.  “You’ve been amazing to him. And...it’s really cool...so...thank you.”

“Aden is awesome,” Clarke stated seriously. “Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to make him like me for selfish reasons.  But, really, Lexa.  He’s great.  You’ve done a great job.”

“He had great parents,” Lexa said. “And Gustus has been around since they died, so not just me.”

“Lexa.”

Lexa turned her head quickly to look at Clarke. “Yeah?”

“You should hear how that kid talks about you when you’re not around.  I know you had good parents and Gus helped out, but you’re his hero.  He adores you.”

Lexa looked at her again, this time in surprise. “What did he say?”

“I’m not telling you that,” Clarke said.

“Why?”

“Because you’ll tell him what I told you and then he won’t trust me.” Clarke’s argument made a lot of sense. “We talk, though.”

“About me?”

“School, life, girls we like. So, yeah. We’re both pretty fucking fond of you,” Clarke revealed. “You’ve come up in a few conversations.”

“That scares me a little.”

“Don’t be scared,” Clarke tried to assure her. “It’s good talk.  And he’s awesome.  So don’t thank me for anything.  I want to be around for him.”

“Sometimes I find myself being ridiculously thankful that you were a drunken, sparkler toting mess near my spruces that night.”

“I could have done without that.”

Lexa scoffed, “Then we wouldn’t have met.”

“We would have at some point,” Clarke argued.

“Where?”

“We have mutual friends,” Clarke said.

“Yeah, now,” Lexa countered. “Even if you count Lincoln, I’m not sure.”

“At his and O’s wedding,” Clarke said. “We would have met.”

“I would have seen you and been too nervous to talk to you.”

Clarke smiled, knowing that would have possible.  “I would have brought some random date and ignored them all night after seeing you.”

“Sure.”

“Then I would have spent all night trying to find out who you were when finally Raven would have just waltzed up to you and said, ‘hey, that girl thinks you’re cute.’”

“You think so?”

“That, or Raven would have hit on you herself,” Clarke said. “Never know with Rae.”

“Maybe.”

“Or, we would meet when Anya takes you out for your birthday to some seedy bar in DC and after you’ve had a bunch of Jäger bombs, I arrive just in time to get completely crushed on you when I see you sing  _ Ice Ice Baby _ for karaoke power hour.”

Lexa has already turned three shades redder than normal, “Dammit. Is nothing a secret anymore?”

“The only time I’ve ever seen Anya smile was when she was telling me that story last Spring.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

“I didn’t know you could rock a mic like a vandal.”

“You will never, ever see it,” Lexa said.

“Oh, I plan to hang around a long, long time, Lex,” Clarke divulged. “So, I’m pretty sure that eventually I’m going to get to see Lexilla Ice.”

“That’s the first and only time I’ve used that stage name,” Lexa said. “It’s retired.”

“We’ll see.”

“I can’t believe Anya told you about that.”

“Me either,” Clarke admitted. “She doesn’t like me very much, but that day she couldn’t stop laughing while thinking about that. She told me so I could laugh at you, too.”

“Why do you think she doesn’t like you?”

“Because she doesn’t,” Clarke answered quickly. “She’s told me as much.”

“Hm.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Clarke said, shrugging it off. “Just like Titus doesn’t like me.  Some of the people in your life are wary of who you let in because of the circumstances.  I think they think you’re vulnerable.”

“I’m not!” Lexa said adamantly.

“I know,” Clarke agreed. “You’re too cautious to be vulnerable.”

“Titus was very good friends with my father,” Lexa said after a minute. “That’s why he can seem like that.  Sometimes he has trouble separating his job of advising me on what to do with my money from advising me on what to do with my life.”

“And you let him?”

“No, I don’t,” Lexa spoke. “I’ve made that clear. But, he’s good at what he does and he keeps my profits on the upswing. Finances are the lifeblood of any successful business, Clarke. And that dude pretty much has my life on a thumbdrive.”

“I get it.”

“He’s harmless,” Lexa told her.

“That's what they always say about the sneaky villain at the beginning of the movie,” Clarke shared. “At the end, they’re the one standing over your body with a rusty butter knife.”

“How ‘bout this? It doesn't matter what Titus thinks, because I like you,” Lexa said. “A lot.”

Clarke bit her lip to keep from swearing her goddamn fealty. “Yeah? Okay. That works.”

“Good.” Lexa stared into the long stretch of road before them. “I think we’ll take the highway on our way back. Different scenery.”

“Okay,” Clarke said, not really caring one way or another.  Her phone rang and rattled in the door handle. She checked the caller ID before answering. “Hey Rae,” Clarke said brightly.

Lexa smiled at the way Clarke answered her cell. Everything Clarke did was cute.

“I’m in...” Clarke peered out the windshield.  Then she checked out the side, not seeing any indication. “Where are we?”

Lexa answered, figuring Clarke was asking her. “Ruckersville, maybe?”

“Ruckersville...maybe,” Clarke said. After a few seconds, she told Raven, “In the middle of Virginia somewhere. I don’t know.”

...

“With Lexa,” Clarke uttered in a tone lower than usual.  “We’re road-trippin for trees.”

...

“Because she was taking a trip and I offered my co-piloting skills.”

...

The tone was even lower still when she said, “Yeah, maybe that, too.”  The vagueness made Lexa look in her direction and Clarke immediately rolled her eyes and covered the mouthpiece. “She’s being Raven.”

“What did she say?”

“She’s making fun of me,” Clarke said.

“For what?”

“My desperation to be around you.”

Lexa waited until the conversation was over and Clarke had hung up the phone to respond. “Raven is really one to talk.  Her and Alie seem to have really hit it off.”

“Rae says that Alie is kind of intense,” Clarke said. “She’s thinking about taking a few steps back.”

“Oh?” Lexa was thrown by the assessment. “Because I ran into Alie in town a few days ago and she went on and on about Raven.  How she likes her a lot and thinks they could get serious.”

“Yikes,” Clarke winced. “Because the vibe I’m getting from Rae is that Alie is getting under her skin.”

“Alie definitely wants under her,” Lexa said. “You might want to get Raven a heads up.  Maybe she can start with an exit strategy before it gets ugly.”

“I’ll definitely fill her in tonight,” Clarke said.

“Why don’t you text her now,” Lexa said, feeling a little uneasy now that she knew Raven’s side.  “Just so she knows.”

“Okay,” Clarke said.

Lexa drove in silence for a while.  Clarke was busy texting, most of attention tied up in Raven’s drama.  That was perfectly fine.  Clarke had been quietly singing every time she stopped to wait for a reply and that was pretty fucking cute.  Lexa had almost completely zoned out when she heard Clarke clear her throat.

“So, do you think you could make this drive very often?” Clarke asked, seemingly out of left field. “Would you hate it?”

“It’s not bad,” Lexa said, casting a glance out her window. “Don’t really plan on making it again.  Only came down here this time because I was curious about the Canaan.”

“Not for trees, Lex.”

“Then...” Lexa’s brows knitted. “Why would I?”

“Because I might...maybe...I possibly could be in Charlottesville next fall,” Clarke said, anxiety already in her voice.

“Why would you move down here?”

“I’m applying to law school at UVA, so...”

Lexa slowly nodded, taking in the information while trying to remember if Clarke had mentioned this before.  “Is this a new plan?”

“New, no,” Clarke said. “It’s an old plan that I’ve reactivated.”

“Law school, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“You haven’t mentioned it,” Lexa said. “That’s a pretty big decision.”

“Well, I was all set to do it last year,” Clarke explained. “I took my LSATs and everything.  Then I decided to take some time and really jump into campaigning and political machinations.”

“Did you not like it?”

“I did,” Clarke said. “And I think I would have enjoyed my time with Emerson’s staff.  I just...”

Lexa glanced over. “You just what?”

“I had to come back. I wanted to come back,” Clarke said. “And when I did, I knew my plan might have to change.”

“And...” Lexa hated that she would have to ask, so she just left it.

“It would be a three hour drive from Annapolis,” Clarke answered the question in a roundabout way.  “I could make it most weekends.  And when you and Aden were free, you guys could maybe come down.”

“We could,” Lexa said and let a minute pass before continuing. “But, this is the kind of thing that maybe we should talk about before...”

“We’re talking now.”

“I just feel like if that’s what you want, then you should go for it,” Lexa said. “But I don’t want to feel like I’m holding you back.”

“You sound like my mom.”

“Mean.”

“I can be in school and be with you at the same time.”

“I know you can,” Lexa acknowledged.  “And we could make it work.  If that’s what you want, we can figure it out.”

“I’m applying at Georgetown, too,” Clarke said, brushing her hand over Lexa’s thigh. “And I’ve got plenty of contacts there. I’m pretty sure I’ll get in. But Virginia is a top ten school, and I’m curious as to whether I could get in there as well.”

“You will,” Lexa said. “And when you do, you should make decisions on what’s best for you.”

“I will.”

Thousands of thoughts ran rampant through Lexa’s head.  Most of them were centering on begging Clarke not to go again, but she wasn’t that selfish.  At least this time, it would be a neighboring state.

“When did you decide this?” She was curious as to how long this had been brewing.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a week or so,” Clarke said. “Like, I said, it was always the plan through undergrad.”

“What happened to change it?”

Clarke shrugged. “My mom liked it too much?”

“Are you asking?”

“No,” Clarke said. “It started as her plan. And then I felt the need to rebel, but now...I’ve been reevaluating...”

“Makes sense.”

“This doesn’t change anything with us,” Clarke said, reaching out and twirling Lexa’s hair around her finger. “I want this. You. Us.”

“Next fall?”

“Yeah, deadlines are in March, so I’ve been working on getting my applications together,” Clarke said. “I was nervous about telling you, though. I should have as soon as I started.”

“It’s okay.” Lexa reached for Clarke’s hand. “I didn’t exactly react well last time, so I understand.”

“This is very different.”

“I know.”

“And I think it’s my best move, career wise.”

“You can’t really go wrong with law school,” Lexa said. “That’s a pretty solid backup plan.”

“I’ve already got my recommendations being written and I’m going to start working on a personal statement. Abby and Dad are both on board to help out, too, so...”

“I can help.”

“No!” Clarke said almost loud enough to rattle Lexa’s brain. “No.”

“I could.”

“Lex, no.  You’ve got yourself and Aden to consider.”

“And you, you’re part of the circle of people to consider.”

“I’ve heard you talk about how hard it is to make enough money in two months at the farm to last the rest of the year, so no.”

“That’s because I want all the businesses to be self-sustaining, Clarke,” Lexa said calmly. “Not because I’d be broke.”

“No.”

“Think about it,” Lexa said. “It would be free and clear.”

“What are you saying?” Clarke asked, now genuinely curious at Lexa’s nonchalance about it. “Where would it even come from? Does the farm do that well?”

“I make money by never having to re-invest my personal funds into the business and stocks,” Lexa said. “Easy breezy.”

“You sell Christmas trees,” Clarke said point blank. “So...how? Did you say personal funds? And stocks?”

“I told you Titus is good at what he does.  He managed my dad’s money, too.  Which became my money.  And the reason why Dad was able to do whatever he wanted was because his parents left  _ him _ money.  And my mom was one of the heirs to the Woods Timber fortune. She hated it, never wanted anything to do with.  So, I sold her shares when I turned eighteen,” Lexa explained as humbly as possible. “Not broke.”

“Fuck,” Clarke was justifiably stunned.

“Just saying, I could pay for law school if that’s what you’re into.”

“Just like that.”

“Uh, yeah,” Lexa said, still playing it down. “I can have Titus get you a check.”

“Well, you’re not going to,” Clarke said. “But I appreciate the offer.”

“It’s on the table.”

Clarke nearly cackled with this newfound information. “What the hell, Lex?”

“What?”

“Never felt the need to mention that before?”

“Is it important to you?”

Clarke sobered, shaking her head. “Not at all.  Just surprised.”

“Honestly, it’s not exactly common knowledge,” Lexa said. “I mean, Aden doesn’t even know how much money he’ll have when he turns eighteen.  He just knows he has an inheritance.”

“I’m not surprised, you certainly don’t act like it,” Clarke said.  She put her finger through one of the holes in Lexa’s jeans. “You don’t dress like it.”

“It doesn’t feel like it’s mine,” Lexa said. “I didn’t earn it.”

“Then why would you give it to me?”

“Because that’s an investment,” Lexa said without blinking.

“In me?”

“In our future.”

Clarke propped her chin on her hand and leaned over the console. “One: that’s sweet, but two: how do you say things like that and still be so cautious about how we’re defining our relationship?”

Lexa was puzzled. “Am I defining it differently than you are?”

“No, it’s just not defined at all yet.”

“I’m with you,” Lexa said plainly.

“Which means?”

“We’re together.”

“So, we’re...fill in the blank.”

Lexa was trying to figure out exactly how Clarke wanted her to answer when she realized she was coming up on the her turn.  “The sign says the town is to the left and the navigation system says right,” Lexa said in confusion. “Which do I trust?”

“We’re a society based in technology,” Clarke offered. “Right.”

“Interesting,” Lexa commented after a few miles.

“This is not an elaborate plan to hide my body, is it?”

“Damn,” Lexa joked. “You’re on to me.”

Clarke scooted up in her seat and indicated toward a circle drive. “I think that’s where we’re going.”

A second later the trees lining the way gave way to a huge plot of Christmas trees set away from the road. “It is,” Lexa said, seeing the sign lit up with the name of the business she as looking for.  

She pulled slowly into the makeshift lot and only noticed one building, which looked to be a house.  It was off to the side and surrounded by a fence with a locked gate.  Lexa drove closer and shut off the truck. “I wonder where I’m supposed to meet the guy.”

“Probably there,” Clarke headed toward the house.

“Clarke!”

“What?” Clarke asked. “Where else?”

“It’s locked,” Lexa gestured toward the gate.

“It’s not locked, it’s just shut,” Clarke said.  “Let’s just go in.”

“You can’t just walk through the gates, Clarke. If it were me, I’d shoot you on the spot,” Lexa said, angling herself in front of Clarke just in case anybody tried it.

“Well, you’re kind of dramatic,” Clarke said. “Nobody’s going to shoot me.  They sell Christmas trees here.  Look at Santa waving me in.”

“Santa’s not wav-” Lexa looked at doorway where Clarke has diverted her attention.  Santa was, in fact, waving them in.  “Oh.”

Of course, it wasn’t Santa.  He was way too skinny and beardless and introduced himself as Jackson.  Jackson turned out to be a really cool guy, despite his red suit. He already had the trees tied up and had a few potted seedlings for Lexa to take back.  Money was exchanged and Jackson helped load the trees into the back of the truck.  

Clarke had taken it upon herself to climb into the bed and guide the trees in, nearly stumbling on a big nylon bag.  “Lex,” she asked. “What’s this?”

“My tent,” Lexa answered. “It’s fine. Just leave it. We’ll stack the trees on top and tie them all down.”

Clarke was legit bewildered for some reason.  “Do you always have a tent back here?”

“Yeah.”

“So, like, at any given time, you can just pitch a tent?” Clarke questioned. “Who does that?”

“Me.”

“How many times have you been out in the vehicle that you use solely for work and needed to put up a tent?”

Lexa rolled her eyes at the question. “Never, Clarke.”

She could hear Jackson quietly chuckle beside her. “You must have a lot of fun together,” he said.  “You’re a cute couple.”

Lexa was filled with unexpected pride that in their short interaction with this stranger, he had picked up on the fact that they were together.

“Thanks,” Lexa took the compliment. “I think so, too.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

“You hungry?” Lexa asked as she slid back into the truck after filling up with fuel.

Clarke hadn’t said anything in a while and Lexa was beginning to wonder if she was going to speak for the remainder of the trip.

“Yeah,” she finally answered after a long pause.

Lexa put the vehicle in drive and pulled out of the station. “Do you have anything in mind?”

“No,” Clarke answered, staring out the window at the small town they’d stopped in. “Whatever you want is fine.”

“Well, I don’t really care, so you can pick.”

“Just go anywhere,” Clarke said. “I’ll find something wherever you decide.”

“You don’t have a preference at all?”

“No.”

“Any category to avoid?”

“Whatever you want, Lexa,” Clarke was starting to sound irritated. “Just choose.”

“Do you just want to grab something quick or go somewhere and sit down?”

“Either way.”

“There are things you need to sit to eat,” Lexa said. “And things you can eat while driving like a burger or a taco.”

“You can’t eat a taco when you’re driving, it’s against the laws of nature and physics,” Clarke said, in utter confusion.

“Okay, Isaac Newton.”

“Don’t need Newton when I was raised by Jacob H. Griffin, physicist,” Clarke told her. “And he taught me never to eat a taco when driving or in space.”

“I’ve eaten forty-seven tacos while driving over the course of my lifetime,” Lexa informed her. “It can be done.”

“There’s no way you know that.”

“It’s all the about the angle of your head,” Lexa stated proudly, then proceeded to show Clarke exactly how to do so.

Clarke watched for a few seconds, torn between agitation at Lexa’s claim and amusement at her antics. “I’m strangely turned on right now.”

“And why wouldn’t you be?” Lexa countered, trying to be suave.  Would’ve been better without the slight squeak.

“Must be all that taco-eating experience.” Clarke quickly realized what she had said, “Aaaannd, I didn’t mean for that to be dirty.”

“It was,” Lexa said, pulling into the nearest restaurant she saw.  “Here?”

“Fine.”

Lexa pulled through the drive-through, ordered and pulled up behind the nearest car. “You wanted me to fill in the blank.”

Clarke arched her eyebrow. “And?”

“And I want to be in a relationship with you,” Lexa said.  “I honestly thought that was obvious.  Do we need to go through all the formalities to say we’re dating?”

“I think there are some formalities, yes,” Clarke stated. “Like, are we exclusively dating each other?”

Lexa didn’t immediately answer as collected their food and paid.  As she exited the drive-thru, she handed the bag to Clarke. “I don’t want to date anybody else. Do you?”

“No.”

Clarke grabbed her sandwich and passed Lexa her taco, laughing already at how fucking stubborn she was.  Lexa was going to prove that she could eat a taco while driving.

“Okay, then,” Lexa said. “We’re dating exclusively.”

Clarke watched as Lexa navigated the highway and also managed to consume her lunch.  It was fascinating.

“Did you even want that taco, or did you just want to prove a point.”

“I just wanted to prove a point,” Lexa confessed.

“Incredible,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Thanks.”

“Not a compliment, Lex.”

“You’re still impressed.”

“I think you’re lucky that I agreed that we were dating before I watched you do that.”

Lexa smiled broadly at her. “Just under the wire.”

“Just so we’re clear, I would think it goes without saying that we’re not having sex with anybody else either,” Clarke mentioned.  “Would you agree with that?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“I don’t really have all that much taco-eating experience,” Lexa said quietly.  She fiddled with the radio controls and pulled on her seatbelt in nervousness at the admission. “Just so  _ you’re _ clear about that.”

Clarke didn’t pick up on it at first, she just nodded along. “I didn’t think so. You looked like you were struggling in the middle.”

“No, Clarke.”

“Yes,” Clarke argued. “You really need two hands to eat a taco.  The one-handed approach just gets sauce on your tits.” Clarke pointed to the small stain on Lexa’s shirt.

“I don’t mean actual tacos.”

“What do you mean? Soft tacos?”

“No, Clarke,” Lexa huffed. “Metaphorically.”

“What?”

Lexa could see the wheels turning.

“Oh.”

Lexa peered over two or three times before saying, “I told you how many people had seen my monkey.”

“That was a euphemism?” Clarke was shocked. “I thought you were talking about Pauna.”

“I was, but it was also a euphemism because my little, innocent macaroon of a brother was within earshot.”

“Your brother is thirteen, Lex,” Clarke reminded her. “He knows about sex.”

“Don’t even say that.”

“You need to get ready for that,” Clarke said. “It’s going to happen.  Prepare yourself.”

“No.”

“Lexa.”

“Stop!”

“Okay, okay,” Clarke stopped. But then a thought hit her. “You said two.  I was one of the two.  And unless you got naked and I passed out, I don’t think I would have forgotten it.”

“Ye-ah.”

“So, that only leaves one.”

“We have a winner!” Lexa mocked cheered.

“Wait, wait, wait, stop, wait,” Clarke turned as much as her seat belt would allow. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Lexa shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “If you think I’m saying what I’m saying, then yes.”

“Just Costia?”

“Yes.”

“Nobody else?”

“No.”

“How long since?”

“Uh...” Lexa thought about it for a second. “Three years?”

Clarke stared at her.  “Have you seen you?”

“Seen me what?” Lexa asked.

“You are...” Clarke pushed her sunglasses onto her forehead. “Lexa, why aren’t you having sex with everybody? You’re fucking hot.”

“Nooo. And that has nothing to do with anything anyway,” Lexa said. “It’s a personal preference. And I’ve been busy.”

“I’ve been busy, too,” Clarke said. “But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t having sex.”

Lexa looked over and let her eyes linger just a bit too long.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Lexa turned her head back to the road.

“Ask,” Clarke said.

“What?”

“Go ahead.” Clarke pushed her glasses back down onto her nose. “You can ask.”

“It’s none of my business.”

“It is,” Clarke said. “It’s kinda your business.”

“It’s really not.”

“Lexa, if you want to know, just ask me.”

“I don’t need to,” Lexa said, gripping the wheel. “I definitely don’t need specifics. Or numbers.  Or genders. Just...maybe...is it anybody I know?  Just so I know that they’ll know what my girlfriend looks like naked.”

“Okay, that’s the first time you’ve referred to me as your girlfriend and it’s pretty fucking weird that you’ve said it in this context.”

“I’m weird, learn to live with it,” Lexa said, not even coming close to apologizing or rewording. “We are who we are.”

“I’ve never slept with any of my friends if that’s what you’re getting at,” Clarke confessed. “So no. And as far as numbers, not as many as you probably think. Because with how white your knuckles are over there, I’d say you’re thinking thousands.”

“I’m not,” Lexa said. “And if you have, then whatever. It’s not about how many, it’s more about the jealousy factor.”

“Don’t be jealous.”

Lexa sarcastically spit out, “Okay, I’ll try not to.”

“I’ve never been into any of them as much as I’m into you,” Clarke said sincerely.  “And we haven’t even  _ had _ sex yet. There's no reason to be jealous.  You’ve got me.”

Lexa bit her lip at Clarke’s words. “Damn, you’re so charming.”

“Full disclosure.”

“I don’t need that.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you about who I’ve been with since we’ve known each other,” Clarke offered. “Unless you really don’t want to know, but it feels like you do.”

Lexa took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay. Tell me.”

“I hooked up with a guy in Vermont,” Clarke said. “Mainly because I was pissed at you and just didn’t want to think about you anymore.”

“Okay,” Lexa said tersely.

“It didn’t work, I still thought about you all the time.”

“Did you date him?”

“No. It was casual and just a couple of times. He was nice and smart. He was part of the social media staff.  Actually, he was the twitter guy,” Clarke reported. “I liked hanging out with him. But ultimately, I wanted you and he wasn’t you and I know how stupid that sounds.”

Lexa felt the tension fade with the last bit. “It doesn’t sound stupid.”

“And...”

The tension returned. “And?”

“A few weeks ago, I slept with a bartender.”

“Since you’ve been home?” Lexa asked.

“Right after I got back,” Clarke said. “Before I went to see you.”

“Have you seen them since?”

“Her.”

“Have you seen her?”

“No,” Clarke answered. “I haven’t seen her, I don’t plan to ever again.”

“Okay.”

“She doesn’t even know my name,” Clarke said without thinking, she cringed at how that must sound.

Lexa didn’t say anything about it, just made a small grunt of disapproval.  “Never with any of your friends, though?”

“No.”

Lexa seemed to be thinking about that a bit too hard.

“Why?” Clarke asked.

“It’s just that...that night I met all of them...Octavia’s brother...”

“Bellamy?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Lexa tapped the icon on the air conditioning to turn it up. “He looked at you...in a way...”

“No,” Clarke said. “Not with Bell. Never. He had a thing for me when we were younger, but no.  Plus, when we were kids, he handcuffed me to a table because he thought it would be hilarious.  And then, after Octavia found the key and uncuffed me, I hit him in the balls with his precious toy lightsaber.  Our parents wouldn’t let us hang out unsupervised for years after that. We’re friends, but I’ll always remember him being a giant jerk.”

“That’s brutal retribution,” Lexa said.

“He told me later that he picked on me because he had a crush,” Clarke recounted. “But, Bell’s the kind of guy that does shitty things that he knows are wrong and then apologizes about it loudly and with convincing remorse instead of, you know, not doing the shitty thing in the first place.”

“Ah.”

“I would never put you in that position purposely,” Clarke said. “Having you around somebody from my past without you knowing everything about whatever may or may not have happened between us.  And nobody that I’ve been with is still in my life like that.  They’re not friends, just exes. Long gone.”

“Good to know.”

“So...you?”

“What...me?”

“Three years is a really long time,” Clarke said. “I’m not going to lie, all of a sudden, I’m feeling some pressure.  Probably nothing compared to the pressure you’ve got going on-”

“Geezus, Clarke, I didn’t say I haven’t had an orgasm in three years,” Lexa said. “Just that I haven’t slept with anybody.”

Clarke had to look away because all the mental pictures were making her both dizzy and thirsty.

“Sorry,” Lexa said eventually.

“No, no,” Clarke replied. “I’m storing that bit of info away for later.”

The slight awkwardness that ensued was broken by the oh-so-annoying ringtone of Lexa’s phone.

Clarke answered it for her, “Hey Aden, it’s Clarke. Your sister is driving.”

...

“Kinda late, I think,” she said over the line.

...

Clarke laughed heartily, “No, buddy. Not so late that you’ll have to miss school tomorrow.”

“Nine at the latest,” Lexa said.

“Nine,” Clarke relayed.  She listened for a second before saying, “No, I don’t think you’ll have to stay at Gus’s.”

“Tell him to eat there,” Lexa said.

“Raid your uncle’s fridge or something,” Clarke said to him. “‘Cause Lex isn’t taking you anywhere to eat when she gets back.”

...

“Yeah, she’s said she’d rather you starve.”  Clarke looked at Lexa, “God, he’s as dramatic as you.”

“Gets it honestly.”

“Okay,” Clarke said to him.

...

“No, it wasn’t the lamest lie to go Christmas shopping ever,” Clarke spoke. “We really did go get trees.”

...

“Can’t tonight,” Clarke said, frowning when Lexa’s turned her head. “I’ll be around this weekend, though.”

...

“K, bye.”

“Are you going to stay all weekend?” Lexa asked when Clarke pressed the end button.

“I was planning to,” Clarke answered. “Is that okay?”

“Absolutely,” Lexa chimed. “I’ll have to work at the farm, but I’ll make them short days. And I can probably take Sunday off.”

“It’s fine, I’ll go to the farm with you,” Clarke said easily.

“It won’t be all day, I promise.  Hell, maybe we could do some old school Clarke and Lexa and watch Teenage Apocalypse.”

“You still watch?”

“Yeah, I’m going to marathon to refresh. New episodes start in January,” Lexa said.

“I haven’t seen it in forever.”

“Really?” Lexa asked. “Why?”

“I guess I lost interest.”

“Well, it did get kind of ridiculous, but Graham Cracker is still going strong.”

“Are you serious?” Clarke sounded disappointed. “I was hoping for Gay.”

“Gay is over. Dead. Graham didn’t want anything to do with her after she found out May was a Wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

“Gay ended in betrayal?”

“The worst kind,” Lexa said. “May turned out to be a prominent member of the double crossing Wolf family and dressed in a woolly suit to lay in wait to kill Graham. Roxy ended up saving the day. She’s a big time lezzie hero. Go Graham Cracker!”

In all Lexa’s excitement, she failed to miss a dip in the road.  The bump caused the truck to rattle and Clarke heard the unmistakable sound of glass clanking behind her.

“What is that?”

Lexa ignored her.

“Lex, do you have alcohol in here?”

“No,” Lexa said. “It’s nothing.”

Clarke unbuckled her seat and twisted around, craning her neck to check out the backseat of the truck.  

Lexa really wanted to stop her, but honestly she was briefly mesmerized by Clarke’s butt swaying around in the air as she dug around behind the seat.

“What the hell?” Clarke said looking in the box resting on the floorboards behind her. “Is this just a random case of candles?”

“Yes,” Lexa said, defenses raised. “What of it?”

Clarke reached for one, smelled it and read the scent, “Blueberry Marshmallow Mist?”

“It’s my candle,” Lexa said, voice slightly raised. “They’re all my candles.”

“O-kay.”

Clarke’s eyes widened when Lexa snatched it away and stretched to drop it back into the box.  “And it’s Blueberry Marshmallow Mist with Orange Peel.”

“You just cruise around with a box of candles?”

“They’re from the inventory,” Lexa said. “Candles that didn’t sell very well, so I packed them up for personal use.”

“Uh huh.”

“Say what you want to say, Clarke,” Lexa spat. “If that is your real name.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Lexa denied.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to let that go,” Clarke said, dropping back down and rebuckling.

“It’s shady,” Lexa said. “You know it.”

“Yeah, it is,” Clarke agreed. “I wasn’t thinking. Or I was just thinking about how to make it a guaranteed one night stand.”

“What was  _ her _ name?” Lexa asked. “Do you know anything about her at all?”

“Niylah,” Clarke answered. “I’m pretty sure she’s blonde.  Sweet girl. Works at one of those trendy clubs in AdMo, mixes one hell of a Fuzzy Navel.”

“Gross, I’m judging you for like peach schnapps.”

“Seriously?” Clarke gasped. “You don’t?”

“Wait, did you say Niylah?”

“Yep,” Clarke confirmed.

“I went to high school with a Niylah.”

Clarke, in the middle of throwing a defiant piece of Juicy Fruit in her mouth, choked on more than the flavor.  “You did?”

“Yeah,” Lexa continued. “Niylah Post. Her dad is a taxidermist, if I recall correctly. Was it her?”

“Uh...” Clarke leaned heavily back in her seat. “I don’t know.”

“Sounds like Niylah Post,” Lexa said. “We played Ultimate Frisbee together for three years.  She’s very agile.”

“Oh my god,” Clarke breathed out. “Of course, I randomly slept with somebody you knew from your days of  _ Ultimate Frisbee _ .”

“Yeah, as much as lesbians want to combat that theory that we all know each other,” Lexa shrugged. “Sometimes, it’s true.”

“That’s awesome.”

Lexa laughed at her discomfort. “What does she think your name is?”

“Claire.”

“Not even creative about your fake name,” Lexa commented.  “She’s cute, though. I can see why you’d pick her up.”

“I appreciate your approval.”

“Smart ass.”

“While I’d love to further discuss this choice topic,” Clarke started. “There’s an exit and I really, really, really have to pee.”

Five minutes later, Clarke watched as Lexa wrenched herself out of the bathroom with a system of elbows and propping the door open with her knee.

“There’s an easier way to do that,” Clarke suggested.

“I forgot my hand sanitizer.”

“I found you a fruit cup,” Clarke said, rolling it in one hand.  She held a box with the other, “And me some chocolate.”

“Reese’s Pieces aren’t chocolate,” Lexa said, thumping it. “It’s just peanut butter in a candy shell.”

“What?” Clarke said, reading the box. She threw it down in disgust. “My whole life is a lie.”

“I don’t really want a fruit cup.” Lexa returned the item and kept looking.

“You always want a fruit cup.”

“I know,” Lexa nodded. “I’ve always wanted that delicious assortment.  My entire life I’ve been all about the fruit cup, I never even questioned it.  It’s always been my go-to snack. I feel like I’m changing, though.  Wouldn’t the more difficult thing be to expand my snacking horizons? I’ve been blindly sticking to tradition when I should be challenging myself and my taste buds.”  She picked up another cup. “Oranges?  I think I want some oranges instead.”

Clarke watched in awe. “I’m both confused by what just happened here and really proud of the strides you’re making in your dietary flexibility.”

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled. “You’re making me a better person.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

 

As the sun started to go down, Clarke took off her sunglasses and tucked them away in the console.  She spent a few moments enjoying the way Lexa’s hand fit so well in hers as they rested in her lap.

“What do you and Aden usually do for Christmas?”

Lexa reflexively rubbed her thumb over Clarke’s, “Presents Christmas morning and lunch with Gus.”

“I usually do Christmas Eve with the whole gang,” Clarke said. “Do you think Aden would like that?”

“Depends on what you guys do?” Lexa said. “I don’t think drunk caroling and mistletoe burning would be appropriate.”

“Nothing like that,” Clarke promised. “Just good old fashioned holiday fun.”

“Am I invited, too?”

“Your invitation was implied.”

“I think we could make it,” Lexa accepted. “If your people don’t mind our intrusion.”

“Fuck them if they do,” Clarke said. “You and Aden are my people.”

Clarke beamed when Lexa’s hand gripped hers even tighter.

“Just about to roll by my town,” Lexa said, nodding to a nearby sign as they neared DC.

“I hope to spend a lot of time in Alexandria in the near future,” Clarke mentioned slyly.

It took Lexa a while, but when it hit her, she laughed. She laughed loudly. “Wow, Clarke. Okay, that one was on purpose.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Yeah, you’re saying it alright.”

Clarke flipped on the interior light. “Are you blushing?”

“Probably!”

“You’re so fucking adorable right now.”

“I’m adorable all the time,” Lexa said with a smirk.

“You are,” Clarke agreed, flipping the switch back off.

“Are you sure you want to go home?” Lexa asked. “Because, you’re more than welcome to stay at my place. Just as easy to take a right up here, no big deal.”

“I have a meeting with a professor in the morning for advice on my application,” Clarke said. “If I didn’t, I definitely would go home with you.”

“Understood.”

“You could stay with me,” Clarke offered hopefully.

“I have to get the trees to the farm,” Lexa said. “And Aden.  He’s expecting me to be home.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said. “Plus, O and Rae will be there.  And, it’s not like we’d have much privacy.”

“This weekend,” Lexa said.

“Yeah,” Clarke smiled broadly.  

A few minutes later, Lexa was parked back in front of Clarke’s place. “Thank you for going with me.  You were right.  It would have been boring without you.”

“Everything is better with me.”

Lexa didn’t argue, instead she pulled Clarke in to kiss her goodnight. She took as long as she could, savoring the feel of Clarke’s lips on hers.  When Clarke angled herself to deepen the kiss, Lexa’s instinctively reached with her left hand, which meant that her elbow made solid contact with the horn.  That effectively scared the shit out of both of them.  Clarke giggled while Lexa groaned in annoyance.

“Perfect end to a perfect day,” Clarke said, opening the door to slip out.

Lexa got out of the truck herself and nearly ran around the front to catch up. “Wait up,” she called.

“Are you walking me to the door?”

“Yes,” Lexa said. “Of course, you’re my girlfriend.”

“How very chivalrous.”

“I can be charming, too,” Lexa said, slipping her hand into Clarke’s as they ambled up the walk.

When they got to the steps, Clarke practically dragged Lexa up. “You want to come in?”

“I can’t,” Lexa frowned, halting fast at the door. “I’ve got trees to unload and you know Aden probably didn’t eat, even though I told him to. Plus, if I get in there, I probably won’t leave.”

“Okay.”

“I wish I could, though,” Lexa said, pulling Clarke closer.  She ducked her head just enough to kiss under Clarke’s jawline.

Clarke threaded her fingers through Lexa’s hair, wrapping around her neck and holding her there. “Me, too.”

Lexa’s lips only left Clarke’s skin long enough to whisper. “ _ Really _ fucking wish I could.”

“Uh huh,” Clarke moaned.

They didn’t stop until Raven made herself known by hanging out second story window and yelling, “Don’t fuck on my stoop, bitches. We have neighbors.”


	14. Sour Grapes

“Whaaaaaat?!?” Clarke heard Raven yell from downstairs.  She chuckled as she admired the newly changed relationship status.  “Clarke Griffin! Where are you?”

She didn’t answer, knowing that Raven would find her way up to Clarke’s room before too long.  

Octavia actually got there first. “Congrats!” she said, stepping just inside the open door. “Did you two decide that yesterday?”

“Yeah,” Clarke answered.

“Did you talk to her about law school?”

“Yeah, we talked,” Clarke said, trying not to let that diminish her good mood.

“And how does she feel about that?”

“She’s on board,” Clarke told her. “We’re going to figure it out.”

Octavia gave her a critical once over before smiling. “Relationships look good on you, Clarke. You seem very happy.”

They both heard the heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and Octavia just stepped aside enough to not get bowled over when Raven rushed past her and jumped onto Clarke’s bed belly first. “Oh my god, tell me everything!”

“What are you doing?” Clarke asked her, suspicious.

“Playing the role of best friend,” Raven said. “Now, seriously, how did this happen?  I thought we were still on the chapter where you guys are ‘such great friends you don’t want to risk it.’”

“No,” Octavia begged to differ as she took her own spot next to Clarke on the bed. “They were never on that chapter.  It was the ‘you broke my heart, how can I trust you’ dilemma.”

“We were past that,” Clarke said. “It was more like the ‘this is serious, but she’s got a kid so let’s make sure we’re on the same page’ chapter.”

“Whatever it was, it was tedious,” Raven said.

“It was necessary,” Octavia said to Raven. “Now they’re sure.”

“I was always sure,” Clarke stated proudly.

“Except when you weren’t,” Raven disagreed. “But whatever.”

“I was sure,” Clarke reiterated. “She was sure. Now we both know we’re both sure.”

“So is that what I broke up last night?” Raven asked. “The aftermath to the ‘officially girlfriends’ talk? If so, I apologize.”

“Yeah and thanks so much for scaring the hell out of her,” Clarke nudged Raven in the ribs. “She would have eventually agreed to come in. She just needed enough encouragement.”

“She was the mouse and your vagina was the cheese?” Raven asked.

“And you were the fucking trap, asshole.”

“Why didn’t you just go over there?” Octavia asked, as sensible as ever.

“I have that meeting this morning with Professor Pike,” Clarke refreshed them. “He teaches legal ethics theory and we had a few conversations last year about a paper I was writing.  Figured I need all the advice I can get on writing my personal statement.”

“Yeah, you better get up and get going,” Octavia said, checking her watch. “I’ve heard that guy is serious.  He’ll kill you if you’re late.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“Could you not put your shoes on the couch,” Lexa said as she dropped Aden’s backpack next to him. 

Aden was busy tying his shoe with his foot propped up on the arm of the sofa and sighed loudly. “My shoes are clean.”

“Do you know how many germs are on your shoes?”

“No,” Aden said. “Do you know Ripken’s lifetime average?”

“Two seventy-six, little brother,” Lexa smacked the bill of Aden’s Orioles cap as she passed by. “Get your shoes off the couch.”

“One day I’m going to ask you a question that you don’t know the answer to.”

“Maybe,” Lexa said. “But today is not that day.”

“You’re annoying,” Aden told her.

“So are you.”

“Wonder why?” Aden grumbled as he dropped to one knee to tie his other shoe.

“You ready?” Lexa called to him from the kitchen. “Come on, don’t want to hit traffic.”

Aden grabbed his backpack and followed her out, waited for her to lock the door and trailed as they walked toward her car. “What time do you think you’ll be home tonight?”

“Hey, about that, do you mind staying with Uncle Gus tonight?” Lexa asked him. “He said it was okay.”

“Uh, sure,” Aden said, frowning already. “Is something going on I should know about?”

“Nope.”

Aden stopped short of the car. “Has to be something, Lex. Just tell me.”

“Nothing bad,” Lexa said, hitting the unlock button and passing him up to go around to the driver’s side.

Aden hopped in the car and automatically turned down the volume on the radio. “Where are you staying?”

“I’ll be in DC,” Lexa said as she put the car in reverse. “Or, that’s my plan anyway.  I’ll let you know if it changes.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” It as a reasonable attempt at deflection.

“Why would you stay in DC?” Aden asked the question innocently enough.

Lexa almost, for a split second, believed that he really didn’t know.  Then she saw it.  It was brief and it was hidden, but she saw his smirk.

“I just am.”

“With who?”

Lexa tapped on the gearshift. “You know with who.”

“Why can’t she stay at the house?” Aden inquired. “She has before.”

“That was different.”

“Why?”

Lexa rolled her eyes and sent him a warning glare. “Aden.”

“Lexa.”

“I’m not having this discussion with you.”

Aden laughed, knocking on the window in a rhythm. “It’s fine. I don’t mind staying at Gus’s, but I could just stay at home by myself.”

“You could, but you’re not.”

“Why?” Aden asked. “I’m responsible.”

“I know.”

“So...” Aden watched her, waiting for an answer.

“No.”

“Fine,” Aden gave up rather easily, but it was only because he wanted the answer to another question more.  “Besides the obvious, what’s different?”

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked as she passed a slower car.

“You said this was different,” Aden said. “Something up with you and Clarke?”

“We talked yesterday on the tree trip,” Lexa answered. “And we’re together now.”

“You were already together.”

“ _ More _ together.”

“So, what does that mean?” Aden asked curiously. “Are you getting married or something?”

“Less together than that. It’s only been a few weeks, A,” Lexa said. “You’re really trying to move this along, huh?”

Aden shrugged. “I like her.”

“I know you do.”

“You like her even more.”

“I do.”

“So I can start calling her Sis?”

“Don’t!” Lexa said. “Not yet anyway.”

Aden nodded, giving her the impression that he would hold off.  The rest of the trip consisted of less conversation as he turned up the radio for the remaining blocks.

When she dropped him off at school, she reminded him, “Call me if you need  _ anything _ .”

“Anything?”

“Well, not for something stupid like toilet paper,” Lexa said.  

“Have fun tonight,” Aden said and pulled his backpack from the backseat. “And congrats, Lex. I’m happy for you.”

She smiled, “Thanks, A.  That’s nice.”

“Just trying to get enough points for you to let me stay home by myself,” he assured her.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“You like this one?” Octavia asked as she clicked through wedding dresses.  They’d both been sitting at the bar in their apartment for an hour comparing the differing shades of white.

“Yeah,” Clarke answered.  She’d quit paying close attention after the hundredth.  Instead Clarke was busy on her laptop writing a draft for part of her law school requirement.  The meeting with Professor Pike had gone really well and she’d be lying if Georgetown wasn’t earning all the pros on her pros and cons list.  Lexa was the big, huge number one reason for staying close to home, of course.  Clarke checked her cell for the tenth time in the last hour.  No messages for a while. Lexa must have been working pretty hard today.

“She hasn’t texted back?” Octavia asked, seeing Clarke out of the corner of her eye.

“Nah,” Clarke said. “She probably got busy.”

“Oh my God!” Raven shouted as she threw open the door.  “I swear I just saw Monty’s mom driving a white van slowly down the street and yelling “hello there” to some small children.”

“What?” Clarke shook her head. “Nuh uh.”

“It was her. I saw her last week. She yelled the same thing at me,” Octavia said, looking up from her iPad. “I was wearing a heavy jacket with the hood up.  When I looked up and waved to her, she drove away.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s driving for Uber,” Clarke mentioned as she abandoned her work and went to the fridge in search of a tasty snack.

“And?” Raven asked. “Is that supposed to prove something?”

“I’m with Rae on this one,” Octavia declared. “She once measured the length of my arms after inviting me over for warm cookies.”

“Is that a thing?” Raven asked, suspicion evident on her face. “Because Alie did that to me while she thought I was sleeping a few days ago.”

“Not a thing,” Clarke said. “Not a thing at all. Have you spoken to her yet?”

“Yeah,” Raven nodded. “We talked today.”

“So, it’s over?”

“No,” Raven said. “We’re not  _ over  _ per se...more like dating at arm’s length...OH! Now I get it.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Clarke said, pointing at Raven. “Just end it.”

“Easier said than done,” Raven told them. “Plus, I’m not sure I want to yet. I’m still trying her on for size.”

“She sounds a wee bit controlling,” Octavia offered as diplomatically as possible.

“She sang Sarah McLachlan’s Possession to me yesterday over the phone,” Raven explained to Clarke what she had missed.  “I recorded it just in case I need to give it to the police.”

“I heard it. Part of me was frightened,” Octavia commented on the occurrence. “And part of me was really impressed by the deep, melancholic quality of her voice.”

“There was a time during that second chorus that my defenses were lowered and I could really appreciate her husky timbre,” Raven acknowledged.

Clarke pulled the hairband from her wrist and twisted her hair messily on top of her head. “Rae, end it.”

“I know, I know,” Raven said. “It’s easy to agree right now, but when I’m with her...I don’t know, it’s like I’ve swallowed her love drug.”

“It’s hard to think clearly when she’s going down on you,” Octavia said.

“That whole head-between-your-legs thing can make decision making all the more difficult,” Clarke stated seriously.

A knock at the door interrupted what was sure to be solid argument as to why Raven should keep having crazy sex with her sanity challenged new friend.

“That’s her!” Raven squealed and dropped behind the kitchen island.  She tried to get into the cabinets underneath, but realized that they had 8 bottles of half used Windex and no room.

That declaration spooked Clarke enough to pick up the nearest weapon.  Which just happened to be a pair of slightly used tongs from the sink.

“You planning to squeeze her into submission?” Octavia asked as she slipped off her bar stool and headed for the door. “I always knew I was the brave one, but this is ridiculous.”

When Octavia opened the door, Lexa stood there leaning against the door jamb.

O gave her a bright smile before announcing, “It’s the other girlfriend.”

“The other girlfriend?” Lexa asked.

Clarke’s head appeared around the door shortly after, still holding the tongs. “Hey!”

“Hi,” Lexa waved at her. “The _ other _ girlfriend?”

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked, smile plastered on her face.  She pulled Lexa into a hug, snapping the tongs dangerously close to her ear.

“What’s going on?” Lexa said, trying to see what was in Clarke’s hand. “Are you cooking?”

“Cooking?” Clarke was confused. “No,” she turned the tongs over, “I was defending us against whatever intruder was at the door.”

“Just me,” Lexa said. “Who is the other girlfriend?”

Clarke glossed right over the question as she traced the vee of Lexa’s shirt. “You told me you’d see me tomorrow.”

“Thought I would surprise you,” Lexa replied, taking in Clarke’s Wizards jersey and unbelievably short shorty shorts. “I wanted to see you tonight.”

“Did you come to hang out with me for a while?” Clarke asked her, nearly giddy.

“Uh...” Lexa looked at the other inhabitants of the apartment.  Raven was stationed at the island pouring several bottles of Windex into one with a funnel and Octavia had long since moved back to her bar stool where she was scrolling on her iPad. Lexa’s voice dropped an octave, “Actually...I...I was going to, you know...maybe...”

Clarke’s eyes widened, still not quite picking it up. “Yeah?”

Lexa reached down and picked up a duffel bag. “I thought I might stay over...if that’s okay.”

“Yeah!” Clarke said happily. She added a few claps, too. “Absolutely.”

Lexa pointed in the general direction of her friends. “You think  _ they’ll  _ mind?”

Clarke laughed, “Who the fuck cares?”

“Clar-ke.”

“Look who came to see us!” Clarke said as she pulled Lexa into the kitchen by the hand. “It’s Lexa!”

“Hey, Lexa,” Raven greeted her, still funneling. “Congratulations on your recent commitment. Clarke’s a nice catch. She’d fetch a goat and probably a few pounds of potatoes if this was 1536.”

“Thanks,” Lexa said. “I actually got two chickens and a handful of mystery flavor kool aid. So, win-win.”

“Mystery flavor?” Clarke looked between them, slipping the tongs on the counter. “Should I be offended?”

“No, no,” Lexa said, wrapping an arm around her. “Mystery flavor is the best.”

Octavia glanced up from her iPad and quickly noticed the bag in Lexa’s other hand. “So, I think I’m going to Linc’s,” she said.  “Anybody else want to come...” Octavia shot a look to Raven and gestured to Lexa with her head. “Rae?”

“I told her hi,” Raven said. She looked at Lexa again. “Nice. To. See. You. Lexa.”

“Raven,” Clarke cleared her throat. “Lexa is going to stay over tonight.”

Raven gave them a thumbs up and twisted the sprayer back on her Windex. “Awesome.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


“Top ten movies that ended on a question?” Raven asked Lexa and Clarke as she clicked through the list on the television.  “Yes?”

“Sure thing, Rae,” Clarke said.  She looked at Lexa and mouthed, “Sorry.”

Lexa just snuggled in closer to Clarke as they shared the recliner, tucked under a blanket, in the living room. “It’s fine. These top tens on mojo are pretty damn addictive.”

“Yeah, but we had other plans,” Clarke whispered. “And top ten songs that were sung by political activists that also starred in movies made before 1990 wasn’t part of any of my plans.”

“That one was actually kind of awesome,” Lexa said.  “I really gained a lot of insight on Jackie Joyner-Kersee.”

Clarke ran that back. “Uh, I think you’re mixing up your mojos, Lex.”

“We’ve watched over 30, so...” Lexa said, shifting in the chair.  

It was probably innocent.  Lexa was just moving her hand.  That was it.  She didn’t know that her hand was going to land so high on Clarke’s thigh or that Clarke’s hips would naturally gravitate toward said hand.

“Whoa.” Clarke cleared her throat uncomfortably. “Damn.”

“Sorry,” Lexa said, realizing the effect she had. She tried to shift again which just made her thrust herself into Clarke’s ass.

“Nope!” Clarke called out loudly.

“I said sorry,” Lexa whisper yelled at her.

Clarke kicked the blanket off and threw it at Raven. “Rae, have fun with youtube, we’re going upstairs.”

“Already?”

“Yep.”  Clarke was halfway to the staircase before looking back for Lexa.  “Are you coming?”

“Yes!” Lexa said, jumping straight up and nearly running to catch up.  “Sorry, Raven.”

Raven had just started Top Ten Celebrities that Look like Other Celebrities’ Less Famous Relatives, so she didn’t give a shit.

Clarke didn’t get the door shut before Lexa had unbuttoned her jeans and started to kick them off.

“Hey, hey,” Clarke walked toward her, hand up in the universal stop sign. “Slow down there.”

Lexa was mid-kick and slowly lowered her leg to the floor. “Do you not want...?”

“Oh, I want,” Clarke said seductively. “I just want,” Clarke settled her hands inside Lexa’s jeans, “do to this myself.”  The sexy smirk on Clarke’s face made Lexa gulp as Clarke slowly, painfully slowly, pushed her jeans down her legs.  Clarke waited for Lexa to step out of them before placing a single, gentle kiss to her knee. She stood, running her hands up the back of Lexa’s thighs, finally letting them settle just below her ass. “I’ve been waiting for this for a while, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to savor it.”

Lexa found her hand on Clarke’s face, brushing her thumb over her bottom lip. “Yeah, yeah,” she leaned in for a kiss. “That’s sounds good.”

Lexa’s lips were really made for kissing. They were so soft, just plump enough and tasted like a fruity cocktail.  Clarke could easily get addicted.  Fuck that, she was already addicted.  Clarke was trying to get as much as she could of Lexa, pulling at her shirt with one hand, the back of her neck with the other.  When she felt Lexa start to hesitate, she quickly released her.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said. “Too much?”

“No,” Lexa assured her.

Clarke was worried. “Is it because Raven is downstairs? I’ll fucking throw her out if you want. We’ve been friends all our lives, she won’t stay mad for long. I could pay her to sit in the lobby and watch mojos on her phone.”

“I haven’t had sex in three years,” Lexa told her. “Congress could convene downstairs and I’d still be down with it.”

Clarke reached out to stroke her arm gently. “Then, what?”

Lexa wrapped her hand around Clarke’s wrist. “Your watch is digging into my neck.”

“Oh!”

She made move to take of it, but Lexa caught her hand and flipped her wrist over to unlatch the clasp.  Once she had removed it, she brought Clarke’s wrist to her lips. “Better. Thank you.”

Clarke’s entire being flip flopped with the action.  “Where did you come from?”

“Is that a literal question or existential?”

“It’s rhetorical,” Clarke said as she landed another kiss, fists knotting in Lexa’s shirt again.

“You can get rid of that,” Lexa whispered as she brushed Clarke’s nose with her own.

“Good idea.”

Clarke’s fingertips were numb at all of sudden or her mind was lust trapped, maybe.  The buttons were just not cooperating.  It was hard to concentrate when Lexa’s tongue was dipping inside her mouth, massaging her own.

Clarke was only two buttons in when Lexa tugged on the bottom of Clarke’s jersey, silently asking.  Clarke granted it by stepping away just enough and lifting her arms.  The shirt has barely cleared her head before Clarke had stepped back into Lexa, continuing her quest on the other woman’s button down.

Suddenly, Lexa pulled away. “Do you want me to do it?”

“No, no,” Clarke said, still trying to follow her lips.

“It’s taking you a while.” Lexa was understandably breathless and probably growing more and more impatient. She had already started to reach for the buttons herself.  

Clarke swatted her hands away. “I’m going to take your goddamn shirt off, Lexa.”

“Okay.”

The proclamation must have spurred her suaveness because she deftly unhooked all the remaining offenders and slid the shirt off Lexa’s shoulders.  She held up the flannel in victory. “See.”

“You win,” Lexa said, grabbing for Clarke again.  Their lips met hard, but Lexa had one thing on her mind.  She pushed at Clarke’s shorts, forcing them down as far as she could while their lips were connected.

Clarke tried her best to help and continue kissing, but finally she tore her lips away and quickly yanked her shorts off and threw them into the air where the ceiling fan caught them and launched them into the outstretched hand of the scholarly figurine mounted on her Most Studious trophy from Arkadia High.

Once Clarke’s shorts were gone, Lexa stood back.  Her tongue poked between her lips as she took it in.  Clarke let her look for a few moments as she was enjoying her own eyeful.

“This is unexpected,” Lexa said.

“What?”

“Your panties say achievement unlocked,” Lexa said.

“Shit,” Clarke looked down, just now remembering what she had slipped on earlier. “Okay, I was not expecting you tonight.”

“I know,” Lexa smiled.

“So, no judging my underwear.”

“I’m not!”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, pointing at Lexa. “Says the girl who knew what she doing. Matching set. Sure, Lex. How often do you do that?”

“Almost never,” Lexa said truthfully. She snapped her bra strap, “These are new...for the occasion.”

“They’re nice, very pretty,” Clarke complimented. “Take ‘em off.”

Lexa’s eyes narrowed, her lips curled slightly. “You want  _ me _ to?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said simply.

Lexa reached behind her and unsnapped her bra and let it fall into the floor. “Done.”

Clarke bit her lip at the revelation, but maintained calm. “Only halfway there.”

“Go ahead. Finish it.”

“Maybe I’ll even things up first,” Clarke said while snapping her fingers on the clasp of her own bra.  She removed it slowly, watching Lexa’s eyes get bigger as she went.  By the time Clarke’s bra slipped off her outstretched hand, Lexa looked about ready to pounce.

To be fair, Lexa had spent hours thinking about them.  Wondering about them.  Lexa wondered what they would taste like.  Lexa wondered how easily they’d fill up her hands.  She had dreams about them.  She had kept the tit pic that Clarke sent months ago and made a heart border for it. The hearts were in the colors of the rainbow to make it the gayest tit pic ever.  And now, she was staring.  It was like meeting her favorite celebrity and not knowing whether to gush and cry or to fake being above it and just congratulate Clarke on her work.

She fell somewhere in between when she said, “God, it’s so good to meet them.”  She took a step forward, hands out, wanting to touch.  Her eyes flickered to Clarke for permission.  When it was granted, she continued.

Clarke smiled at her praise. “So, you’re a boob girl?”

“I am.” Lexa said, focusing on the breasts at hand. She gently rolled her thumbs over Clarke’s nipples. “And yours are spectacular.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Because Lexa might have been blatantly checking out her tits, but she still had impeccable manners.

Clarke eliminated the space between them again, this time kissing with fervor.  She walked Lexa backward to her bed. Just as Lexa was running out of room, Clarke dropped to her knees and slipped Lexa’s panties off.  As they approached her calves, Clarke instructed her to sit so she could pull them off.  She brushed her palms against Lexa’s exposed thighs, letting herself enjoy the feeling.

“You’re really beautiful,” Clarke said. “You know that?”

Lexa leaned into her, letting their foreheads rest against each other. “You’re really amazing, did  _ you _ know  _ that _ ?”

Clarke smirked, “Yeah.”

“So humble.” Lexa tilted her head to suck ever so lightly on Clarke’s lower lip. “So hot.”

Clarke’s hands trailed up her sides, hooking over her shoulders. “You’re still okay with this?”

“More than okay with this, yes.”

Clarke stood, pulled off her own panties, and took a spot on the bed. She crooked her finger at Lexa. She was only slightly disappointed when Lexa laid beside her instead of on top of her. Clarke rolled to her side and swept her hand over Lexa’s chest.  She ducked her head to swirl her tongue around a nipple and immediately saw the other woman’s entire body draw up.  “You sure?”

“It’s been a while,” Lexa said in response.

Clarke pulled back a little and ran her fingers through Lexa’s hair. “I know and if you’d rather wait-”

“No, no, fuck no, no,” Lexa said, reaching for Clarke. “I’m just afraid-”

“I won’t hurt you, I promise.”

Lexa’s eyebrows knitted. “Clarke...”

“What, Lex?”

“I’m afraid that...” Lexa blushed. “I won’t...um...it’s been a while.”

Clarke nodded in understanding, “It’s fine. I want this as much as you do.”  To prove her claim, Clarke rolled the rest of the way and pressed herself onto Lexa’s leg. “You feel me?”

“Yeah.”

Clarke went lower, her own clit sliding deliciously down Lexa’s leg leaving a slick trail.  She bucked into her once before resituating herself between Lexa’s knees.  Clarke slowly, methodically placed open mouthed kisses on the inside of Lexa’s thigh, sucking just enough to leave a path of red marks. “Your legs are so fucking incredible,” Clarke shared.  She leaned up, looking for Lexa’s eyes. “I remember the first time I noticed them.”

Lexa was way too concerned with not combusting to enjoy story time and the way Clarke’s index finger was just barely making figure eights over her ribs wasn’t helping at all.

Clarke knew she was struggling, she could feel the tension gathering.

“Lexa.”

“Yeah?” Lexa choked out.

“Relax.”

“Hard to do right now.”

Clarke stopped and sat up on her knees, letting her arms catch her and hovering over Lexa so they were face to face again. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You can cum anytime,” Clarke said helpfully. “It’s not like we can’t do this all night.”

The laugh she heard let Clarke know that her intention had worked.

“Thanks, Clarke.”

Clarke straddled Lexa’s hips and reached for the fists that were currently balled tightly in the sheets. “It was a couple weeks after we’d met,” she said as she let her fingers lace with her girlfriend’s. “You were wearing those cut off jeans that barely covered your ass.  You were painting one of the fences in the parking lot and bent over to get the bottom rail.”

“I remember that day,” Lexa said, sounding more relaxed. “It was hot as fuck.”

“Exactly,” Clarke said. “It  _ was _ hot as fuck.”

“I meant the weather.”

“I meant your...well, everything,” Clarke said, moving Lexa’s hands to rest above her head. “I’ve thought about this...and you...and us being here, like this, since then.”

“You have?”

“Yes, Lex,” Clarke murmured as she leaned down to kiss her on the lips and then tracked toward her ear. “And I want more than anything for you to enjoy tonight. Don’t hold back, okay?”

“Okay,” Lexa mumbled.

Clarke returned to her previous position and lifted Lexa’s hips toward her.  The first lick damn near finished the job.  Lexa rammed into her so hard that Clarke was surprised by the force of it.

“Sorry,” Lexa apologized. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“What did you think I was down here for?”

“You just said not to hold back!”

“I didn’t say break my nose with your vagina,” Clarke yelped as she wrapped her arms under Lexa’s thighs to control the kickback.

“Are you okay? God, I'm so sorry.” Lexa leaned up to take Clarke's face in her hand, checking for injury.  She ran a finger down her nose and kissed the tip. “Your nose is perfect, I’d be pissed if I broke it.”

“I wouldn’t love it either,” Clarke said, secretly enjoying the way Lexa was fussing over her. “But, it’s fine. I was kidding.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?

“Lexa,” Clarke said, her voice taking on a modicum of authority. “Lie back.”

Lexa did as she was asked. “Okay, okay.”

“You need a warning?”

“No,” Lexa said. “I’m prepared this time.”

Clarke alternated generously between long, slow deep licks and peppering Lexa’s clit with her tongue.  When she felt the tension build, Clarke would change tactics, dipping just into her entrance and waiting until her breathing evened slightly.  That went on until Lexa had had just about enough of that bullshit.

“Dammit, Clarke,” Lexa finally screamed. “Fucking fuck me already.”

“Impatient,” Clarke commented, but slipped two fingers into Lexa anyway. “But, as you please.”

Clarke’s repositioning for leverage allowed her straddle Lexa’s thigh once again and she used it to her advantage, rubbing her clit against the toned muscles at her disposal.  Watching Clarke’s breasts bounce as she got herself off and the feeling of having Clarke inside her sealed the deal for Lexa.  She bucked into Clarke’s fingers a few times before her body exploded with electricity.  “Fu-uck!” she yelled out.

Clarke followed shortly with her own orgasm, collapsing on top of her. “You are loud.”

Lexa was too busy trying to catch her breath to reply.  She couldn’t really move yet, she was all jelly.

“I like it,” Clarke said, moving so that she could kiss Lexa’s neck. “It’s really sexy.”

Lexa gave her a curt nod.

Clarke leaned back so she could see her. “You okay?”

She watched what felt like twenty different emotions pass over Lexa’s face.  Finally, Lexa opened her eyes again and looked into blue ones.  She beamed with a smile that took over her whole face, maybe her entire body, and let out a deep, slow breath. “I’m trying to stop myself from saying a whole lot of really cheesy, cliche things.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke replied. “Because I’d hate to hear that was the best sex ever or anything.”

“You’re the best of two, I don’t know how much weight that holds.”

“That’s enough for me,” Clarke said.

“...And?” Lexa was fishing.

“You’ve made me forget everybody else I’ve ever been with,” Clarke answered quickly. “How’s that for cliche?”

“And cheesy,” Lexa said, fighting a yawn. “Don’t forget cheesy.”

“You should sleep,” Clarke suggested, yawning herself in response.

Lexa turned onto her left side, pulling Clarke’s arm as she went.  “Be my big spoon?”

Clarke let her lips trail just below Lexa’s hairline, down to the small sun tattoo on the back of her neck.  She traced it with her fingertips slowly.  “Okay, I’ve seen this one,” Clarke whispered.  “But,” her fingers slid lower down Lexa’s back, “never this.”

“I’m a nerd,” Lexa said before Clarke could comment on the planets that formed a line on her spine. “I always wanted to be an astronomer as a kid.  I thought my future was in the stars.”

Clarke studied the artistry of the simple black designs that dotted Lexa’s perfect back. “It’s really cool.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said, wrapping her arm around Lexa’s hip. She lazily let her fingers tap against Lexa’s midsection.

Lexa brought her hand up to lace their fingers together and settle over her stomach. “Thanks.”

Clarke rested her head against Lexa’s back.  “So glad you came over.”

“Me, too,” Lexa smiled as Clarke placed delicate kisses to each of the planets of her tattoo. She glanced behind her after Clarke had covered them all. She very shyly asked, “Would you mind if someone else slept with us?”

“Huh?”

“I said-”

“Lexa, did you bring Pauna?”

Lexa avoided eye contact when she said, “I didn’t say that.”

“Lex.”

“No.”

“Lexa.”

“No, Clarke.”

“Alexandria Woods Beckett.”

“Yes,” Lexa finally admitted. “Pauna is in my bag. Geez, Griffin. Let an adult woman have a stuffed monkey she takes with her on overnight trips without all the fucking guilt, why don’t you.”

Clarke giggled and rolled on top of her, kissing her temple with a wet pop. “You’re such a dork. Does anybody else know how big of a dork you are?”

“Just you,” Lexa answered, brushing her lips against Clarke’s shoulder.

Lexa was pretty fucking bummed when Clarke rolled off the other side and got out of bed.  Wasn’t too bad, she did get to watch Clarke’s perfect ass as she sauntered across the room and unzipped Lexa’s bag.  

Clarke pulled the monkey out and held it high over her head. “Found her.”

“So did I,” Lexa said to herself.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Here they come,” Raven said over her coffee to Octavia.  

Octavia poured her own cup of coffee and leaned against the counter watching Clarke and Lexa descend the stairs.  “Good morning.”

“Hey, you’re back,” Clarke said maintaining a hold on Lexa the whole time. “And you made coffee, you glorious woman.”

“How did you know I didn’t make the coffee?” Raven asked. “I can make stuff.”

“Explode,” Clarke finished the sentence.  “Lex,” she regarded her girlfriend. “You want?”

“Yeah,” Lexa answered, taking a seat at the table.

“So, Lexa, how was the cheese?” Raven asked her, shit-eating grin prominent on her features.

“Huh?” Lexa was confused. “The cheese?”

“Raven’s from Wisconsin,” Clarke said, flipping her friend off. “Everything is cheesy there.”

Lexa was even more confused, “I thought you grew up here.”

“I did,” Raven said, leaving Clarke out to dry. “I heard you screaming like a vegan with an eggless cake last night. Inquiring minds want to know: Did she eventually fucking fuck you?”

“I did and now I’m hungry,” Clarke answered, more concerned with the mention of food.

Lexa was trying not to show her embarrassment, “Sorry...for that.”

“Don’t apologize,” Clarke told her. She addressed Raven, “I had slex. That’s sex with Lexa. It was fucking awesome.  I’m owning it. She’s my girlfriend. It’s going to happen again. A lot. Right now I’m starving.”

Octavia leaned toward Lexa, “This is how Raven and Clarke friend.  It takes some getting use to.”

“Thanks for the clarification,” Lexa said. “How about I make everyone omelets?”

“You don’t have to do that, Lexa,” Clarke said. “You’re a guest.”

Lexa’s eyebrows lifted, “Are you going to cook breakfast?”

“Um, well,” Clarke frowned. “I can go and get us breakfast.”

“I got it,” Lexa said, already looking for ingredients.

“Marry her!” Raven told Clarke bluntly. “Marry her immediately.”

“Rae, shut up,” Clarke said bashfully.

“I’ll marry her then,” Raven warned.

“I’ll fuck you up if you even try.” It was meant to be a joke, but it certainly didn’t sound like one.

Lexa planted on kiss on Clarke’s forehead. “No worries,” she said. “There’s only one girl for me.”

Octavia winked at Raven. “Guess you’re out of luck, Rae.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

Aden saw Clarke’s car pull into the lot and looked around for his sister.  She seemed to have Clarke radar, so he expected her to pop up.  She didn’t come out by the time Clarke exited her car, which was unusual, so he stood to go get her.  He stopped when Clarke started cursing and shaking the snow out of her hair. He couldn’t help chuckling at her antics.

“What are you laughing at?” she called to him.

“You.”

“Yeah, I see that,” she said. “What’s with all the freaking snow?”

“It’s winter,” he answered. “And Christmas. Snow happens.”

“You okay, A?” she asked when she approached. She couldn’t help noticing that his eyes were a little dimmer than usual.

“Great,” he faked a grin. “Lex is in her office.”

“Okay,” Clarke said, not moving in that direction. “What are you up to?”

He shrugged. “Nothing.”

“You want to help me out with something?” she asked, tugging his sock cap.

He smiled, but pulled away, straightening his hat. “What?”

“I need a tree.”

“You don’t have a tree yet?” he asked, mildly judgmental. “You know you’re dating the owner of a tree farm, right?”

“Which makes it all the more embarrassing.”

“I can help you,” he said grandly. “I work here.”

“Let’s walk,” she said, pointing up the trail. “Remind me which one makes the less mess.”

“Scotch pines,” he answered with zero hesitation.

They walked for a good while in comfortable silence.  Clarke pretending that she really needed to take a look at all the trees, Aden giving her space to decide.

She finally asked, “You’re okay with me and Lexa, right?”

Aden jumped to slap at a tree branch, landing and packing the snow on the ground. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“I think it’s great,” Aden said. “Took you both long enough.”

“Too long.”

“Way too long.”

“I just wanted you to know that I really like her,” Clarke said. “And I know it’s just been the two of you for a while-”

“I’m more than willing to share my sister,” Aden cut her off. “And I know you like her.  She likes you, too.”

“I know,” she retorted. “How’s Charlotte?”

“Good.”

“I really like  _ her _ , too,” Clarke said. “She’s sweet.”

“She’s cool,” he answered. “She said that you and Lexa were awesome about eighty times.  She had fun last weekend.”

“Good,” Clarke said. She pointed to the next tree they came to, “What about this one?”

“You live in an apartment, right?” Aden asked.

“Yeah.”

“Too big,” he said.  He looked up, “And probably too tall unless you have high ceilings.”

“You’re really taking this tree salesman thing seriously.”

“I learned from the best,” he quipped.

“Supposedly, I did, too...”

“You’re not really moving to Virginia, are you?” Aden asked as they walked past the equipment shed.

“I don’t know,” Clarke answered honestly. “If I had to decide today, no.”

“She doesn’t want you to go,” Aden revealed.  “But she’s not going to tell you.”

“Did she say that?”

“Yeah,” Aden confirmed. “She wants you here, because we’re here.  We can’t really go anywhere else.”

“It’s hard to move a farm full of trees.”

“And I want you here, too,” Aden said. “It wasn’t good when you were gone.  I mean, we were okay.  She was just sad. When you came back, everything got better. So you should stay.”

“I’ll take that into consideration, A.”

“She said that you have to do what you have to do, but if Lexa is here, why wouldn’t you  _ want  _ to stay?”

Clarke really couldn’t argue with that flawless logic. “I do.”

“Then stay.”

“Okay.”

She realized he had stopped and turned to see him looking across the snow covered acre to the house that adorned the hill.  She watched him for a moment.

“It’s beautiful,” she said finally.

“Yeah,” he agreed.  “Has she ever told you how they died?”

Clarke was surprised by the question.  She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing seemed to come out.  She ended up just shaking her head.

“Car accident,” he said. “It was a day like today.  The roads were icy and another car slid into them.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t go to school that day,” Aden remembered. “Dad was working on the house and Mom decided to drive out with him. She almost never came out here.  She was always busy.  I came with him most of the time.  That day,  I didn’t want to. I was playing with my friends in the snow. Lexa and Costia were at the house, so Mom and Dad let me stay with them. It was weird, because I always came to the house with him.  Except that day.”

“Lexa said she’d never been in it.”

“She hasn’t,” he said. “She was always off doing something.  She was teenager then, so the last place she wanted to be was here.  I did, though. I was helping dad build it.  He was so excited about it.  He would let me bring him whatever tool he needed.”

“Those are pretty great memories to have with him, Aden,” Clarke said. “How close was he to finishing it?”

“It’s done,” he said simply.

“Lexa said-”

Aden looked her in the eye, “It is.”

“Oh.”

“Gus finished it, I asked him to.”

“You mind if I ask you a question?”

“No.”

“If it’s done, why don’t you live there?” Clarke asked. “I mean, your dad built it for you.”

Aden struggled to answer. “She didn’t want to,” he finally said.  “She’s never said that.  She just said that she didn’t want me to have to change schools or make me move out of the only home I’d ever known. But, she doesn’t want to.  I think she blames the house or something.  Does that sound weird?”

“No,” Clarke said. “Maybe she does.”

“Has she ever said anything about it to you?”

“Not really,” Clarke offered. “Only once when I asked about it.”

“Maybe the three of us will be family enough to change her mind,” he said and continued up the path back toward to offices.

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

Aden let himself into Lexa’s office, leaving the door open and seating himself in the chair across from her desk.  “Clarke’s here.”

Lexa dotted the ‘i’ in her signature before looking at him. “Clarke’s here?”

“Yeah.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s waiting on you to okay the tree she picked,” Aden said.

“The tree she picked?” Lexa couldn’t help but laugh. “How long has she been here?”

“Long enough for us to walk around the farm.”

Lexa dropped her pen and stood up, grabbing her coat from her chair. “Why didn’t you come and get me?”

“We were talking,” Aden answered with a shrug. “Is that not okay?

Lexa stopped moving so hastily and regarded him carefully. “It’s more than okay, A.”

“She’s going to be pretty important in my life, too.”

“I know that,” Lexa said. “That’s why...it couldn’t be just anybody.”

Aden looked at her, questioning.

“Whoever is with me is with you, too,” Lexa responded. “It has to be someone special.”

“Has to be Clarke.”

“Yeah, Aden. It does.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

Lexa couldn’t help but notice how Clarke’s face lit up when she saw her.  She couldn’t fight a cheshire grin as she trudged through the snow.

“A tree?” she called. “Really, Clarke?”

“I don’t have one.”

Lexa walked straight to the one in question, inspecting it thoroughly. “Nice pick.”

“It’s all about pine retention,” Clarke said.

“Ah,” Lexa assented. “You remembered.”

Clarke waited until she got close enough and dragged her in. She kissed Lexa’s cheek and hooked a finger in her front pocket. “Of course, I did. It was very important tree information, Ms. Beckett.”

“Cutting it awfully close. Christmas is in less than two weeks.”

“Okay, maybe I just needed an excuse to come see my girlfriend.”

Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hips, shaking her teasingly.  “You don’t need an excuse.”

“Good to know.”

“Weather is shit, today.”

“Not that bad,” Clarke said, spitting snow out of her mouth.

“You really didn’t have to drive over,” Lexa said. “The trip probably took twice as long.”

“I wanted to, baby,” Clarke laughed and burrowed into her, snaking her arms inside Lexa’s coat.

Clarke freaked out a little over the strange look she got in return.

“Is baby okay? Do you feel like I’m infantilizing you?” Clarke asked sincerely. “Should we not do that terms of endearment thing?”

“It’s fine,” Lexa said, still looking like she was working out an algorithm for jet propulsion.

“Then why did you look like you’re having severe abdominal pain?”

“It wasn’t abdominal pain,” Lexa told her. “It was a fluttery feeling and it was lower.”

“Lower like...”

“Lower like the Caribbean, Clarke,” Lexa slapped her ass. “As a strong, independent woman, I’m ‘eh’ about the endearing terminology...as a girl who really, really, really likes you, it was sweet. I like it. I can’t believe I like it, but I do.”

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

“Me, either,” Lexa said.  “I’ll decide while I’m getting a saw.”

“Okay,” Clarke looked frightened. “I can call you something else.”

“For the tree.”

Finding a saw took much longer than anticipated since Lexa insisted on carrying Clarke on her back. To make it even more of an adventure, Clarke thought it would be fun to pull Lexa’s beanie over her eyes and give her directions for navigating the tree paths.  She called it a trust exercise, Lexa had other names for it.

As they neared the shops, Clarke warned her. “Anya is at your nine o’clock. Don’t run into her.”

“What the hell is this?” Anya said, watching the two of them.

“Hey,” Clarke said as she reached down to pull Lexa’s hat back up.

“What’s up, Anya?” Lexa asked.

“Lexa, there’s a Clarke on your back,” Anya told her humorlessly. She held up the saw they were in search of, “I can cut it off if you like.”

“Be nice to my girlfriend,” Lexa warned her.

“It’s fine,” Clarke said, kissing Lexa’s ear through her stocking cap. “She’s just joking.”

“Joking,” Anya agreed, but narrowed her eyes at Clarke anyway.

“We need that,” Lexa said to her, reaching for the saw. “Clarke picked a tree.”

“Well, halle-fucking-lulah,” Anya said, handing it over. “Clarke picked a tree. Happy Christmas.”

Lexa took the saw, turned around and started back toward Clarke’s tree.  She yelled over her shoulder, “Stop being such a bitch or I’ll fire your grumpy ass.”

They made it a few strides before Clarke said, “No, you won’t.”

“Probably not.”

“I’ll win her over,” Clarke promised. “Just may take a while.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


“So how were you planning to get this home?” Lexa asked after she had sawed down the tree.  “I feel like this may have been a spur of the moment decision.”

“Can’t I just tie it to the top of my car?”

“Clarke, sweetie,” Lexa rubbed her forehead. “You drive a Prius.”

“And?”

“I’ll take it over in the truck later,” Lexa said.  “You want to go get it and pull it around? We’ll go ahead and load it up.”

“You’re going to let me drive the Beckett Tree Truck?” Clarke asked excitedly.

“Yes,” Lexa answered. “For a tenth of a mile. The keys are in my top desk drawer.”

“Okay,” Clarke said, taking off before Lexa changed her mind.

Clarke was practically skipping (as much as she could on snow) down the well beaten path back to the offices when a wild Titus appeared from behind a less manicured tree.

“Clar, s’nice to ren in to you leek dis.”

Clarke honestly has no one clue what Titus had just said to her, so she nodded graciously and kept walking.  She was surprised when he kept up step for step.

“Du you theenk we cul tal?”

“Yeah, you bet,” she said in response, hoping that he was mumbling about the weather. “The snow...right?”

“Kite cheelee,” he said. “Meebee we cul tal inside?”

“Inside?” Clarke latched on to the one word she got. “Yes, I’m going inside, Titus.”

“Lessuh tol me abut your plas for da futor. Meebee you shul also dikees wid me.”

“Huh?” Clarke leaned in closer. “What was that? Could you maybe...uh, project a bit?”

His whisper became a barely louder whisper, “Da to uv us shul come tone unndersanning.”

“Shhh-sure,” Clarke stumbled out, finding herself drifting closer and closer to him. “Yeah, yeah, you bet.”

“She huz dikees wid me moe knee for lasckul. Your gong to lasckul, corrit? We con dikees pamint opchins.”

“...”

“For ta scul.”

“Taxes?” Clarke said, erroneously landing on a phonetic clue. “You want to do my taxes?”

“Uv cors I cul,” Titus nodded, confused as well now.

“I’m sorry, Titus,” Clarke continued. “I just use TurboTax.  No issues so far.”

Lexa walked up on the conversation just a second later, already noticing that Clarke nearly had her ear to Titus’s mouth.  “What’s up?” she asked.

“Oh, Titus here was offering to do my taxes,” Clarke said to her. “I think.”

“He was?” Lexa shot a look at Titus.

He nodded. “Wuz dikeeseen laskul with Clar.”

“That’s hardly any of your business, Titus.”

“It’s cool,” Clarke said, hand on Lexa’s arm. “Gotta drum up business somehow, right?”

“Clarke,” Lexa reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I remembered that the keys are in the cabinet, not my drawer.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I’ll meet you out there.”

“Awesome,” Clarke said without a care.  She winked at Lexa before walking toward her office. “See ya, Titus.”

Lexa waited until Clarke was gone. “Titus, what the fuck are you doing?” Lexa asked him, eyes bulging with simmering rage. “Leave her alone.”

“Lessuh, everthin I do, I doot for you.”

“That’s super cute, Robin Hood,” Lexa said. “But, I don’t need you to look after me.  Especially when it comes to Clarke.  So stop vetting her and chill.”

“Bu-”

“Nope!”

Soon, the steady snowfall had shut down all the foot traffic at the farm.  Clarke’s tree had been graciously loaded up by Lincoln and Aden and one by one the rest of the staff had randomly gathered around for further instruction.

“We couldn’t have had this meeting inside?” Indra asked, scarf wrapped tightly over her face. “It’s too damn cold out here.”

“I didn’t even call a meeting,” Lexa said. “Everyone just showed up. Not my fault.”

“This will break soon,” Lincoln said, scrolling through his phone. “We might get some people in later.”

“Then we’ll stay for a bit,” Lexa concluded.

“And do what?” Anya asked, leaning on an axe handle.

“Well...” Lexa thought about all the things she could be doing and none of it seemed all that attractive.  While her thoughts we looping around, she happened to catch Indra’s amused stare.  “What’s your problem?”

“You’re obviously in that clingy phase,” Indra said. 

“Nobody’s clingy,” Lexa defended herself, which was tough considering she was she hugging Clarke from behind and had her chin nestled into Clarke’s shoulder.

“We’re a little sickening right now,” Clarke agreed with Indra.

“A little,” Indra said, but she smiling at them anyway.

“A lot,” Anya huffed.  A second later a snowball caught her in the arm and immediately glared at Aden. “What was that about?”

“Company snowball fight,” he answered. “That’s what we’ll do.”

Everybody seemed to like the idea, so Lexa said, “Sure. Let’s play.”

“Team captains are Aden and Lexa,” Lincoln reported to the group. “Youngest gets the first pick.”

“Clarke!” Aden said before the words were out of his mouth.

“Good choice,” Clarke said, stepping out of Lexa’s clutch toward Aden and pumping her fist Jersey style.

“What?” Lexa pushed him lightly. “Why does he go first?”

“Dems the rules,” Aden replied, stretching.

“Aden picked Clarke,” Lincoln said. “Your pick, Lexa.”

“Wait, no,” Lexa argued.

“Are you deferring your pick?” Aden asked.

“I’m protesting yours.”

“You’ll have to do a formal protest to the governing body,” Aden said, pointing to Lincoln.

Lincoln shrugged. “Pick stands. Challenge denied. You forfeit next pick. Aden.”

“Lincoln!”

“What?” Lexa’s voice was shrill. “Nooo!”

“Pick somebody,” Aden instructed. “Or it’ll be everyone against you.”

“Anya,” Lexa chose the first person in her line of sight.

“Yes,” Anya said, glaring at Clarke and gesturing that she had eyes on her.

Eventually, teams were chosen and aligned into a designated area.  The only two left in the neutral zone were, of course, Lexa and Clarke.

“I’ll come back to you after the war,” Lexa told her with a kiss. “Be safe.”

“You’re cute when you’re off to battle.”

“No, I’m not,” Lexa vehemently denied. “I’m a vicious fucking snow warrior with an arm like a snowball catapulting machine.”

“Why am I so turned on right now?” Clarke asked herself before getting pelted in the face with a snowball that came from the vicinity of Anya.

“Game on,” Lexa said, throwing another one at her.

“Hey!” Clarke tried to dodge it with no avail.

“Not cool!” Aden said as he army crawled to where Clarke was left out in the open. He packed four snowballs quickly. “I’ll cover you. Go, go, go.”

And so they played like children in the snow on a wasted afternoon on a tree farm.  Lexa was sure she hadn’t had so much fun in years, especially here.  It had been tough to find joy in this place.  She had all the pride in the world, but not joy.  Watching her Tree Crew run around, laughing and throwing snow at each other was pretty joyous, though.  

She was staked out behind a particularly gorgeous spruce when she saw Clarke trying to sneak past.  She almost called out, but Anya was pretty close on her heels.  Clarke was none the wiser as she quietly tiptoed through the snow.  Lexa bent down, gathering a nice round ball of the white stuff.  She packed it solidly and waited for the right moment.  Just when she saw her opening, she ripped off a strike that hit Anya in the back.  It was such a shock that she fell right on her face.

“Gotcha,” Lexa said as she jogged up.

Clarke had heard the commotion behind her and turned around. “What’s going on?”

“Anya was hunting you.”

Clarke looked at the woman on the ground and back to Lexa. “Were you defending my honor or something?”

“She’s betraying her team,” Anya said.

Lexa packed a few more snowballs and tossed them over. “Okay, Clarke. Vengeance is yours.”

“C’mon, Lexa,” Anya rolled her eyes.

Clarke thought about.  She really did.  She had plenty of snowballs at the ready, but she dropped them all. “No,” she said. “I’m not going to hit you with five consecutive snowballs. I want to. I really want to have Lexa hold you down while I stuff all the snowballs down your shirt so it’s wet and sticky and uncomfortable for the rest of the day, but I won’t. Because I get why you don’t like me.  I understand why you don’t trust me.  And even though I don’t have to explain myself to you, Anya, I’m telling you that I’m staying.  So, in the words of all tampon commercials, may you maintain your dryness.”

Lexa watched proudly, “The Snow Captain has spoken. You have been spared.”

Anya got up and dusted the snow off. “I hope you do,” she said to Clarke. “She deserves to be happy.”  She walked away, patting Lexa’s shoulder on the way by.

“She means well,” she told Clarke as Anya disappeared through the trees. “Just has a strange way of showing it.”

“She’s looking out for you, I respect that.”

“You know,” Lexa said, draping her arm around Clarke. “We make an excellent team.”

“We do,” Clarke nodded. “Even when we’re on opposite sides.”


	15. Thirty One: Video Killed the Radio Star

Lexa shifted ever so slightly in her sleep which caused Clarke to freeze, hand in midair.  She watched as Lexa tugged at the sheet to pull it higher around her shoulders and then settled back into slumber.  Clarke waited for a few seconds before letting out the breath she had been holding.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want to spend time with her girlfriend.  She did.  She absolutely did.  But, now that Christmas was over, Lexa was actually able to sleep in.  And she had mentioned several times to Clarke how great it was not to have to rush over to the farm or get up to get Aden to school.

So, Clarke let her sleep.  She had crept out of bed, brushed her teeth and then settled into Lexa’s moon chair with her sketchbook.  Maybe the only benefit of letting Lexa sleep, for her, was the opportunity to get a little drawing in.  And, if Lexa had become her latest and greatest muse, then so be it.

Clarke studied her sleeping form, smiled at the haphazard way Lexa’s arm was seemingly flung behind her, fingers upturned.  She scanned down her body, biting her lip at the fact that she now knew exactly what each of the curves looked like under the covers.  She had thoughts of drawing from memory, but reconsidered.  She’d want Lexa’s permission before doing nakey pics.  Instead, she focused on Lexa’s feet poking out just enough to leave her toes exposed.

She flipped a page in her sketchbook and drew a quick outline.  

It wasn’t long before Lexa shuffled, hiding her feet yet again.  This time, however, her eyes opened just enough to catch Clarke in her periphery.

“Hey,” she said drowsily. “You’re awake?”

“I have been for a while,” Clarke said, still concentrating on the shading of her sketch. “But I wanted to let you sleep.”

“Thanks,” Lexa mumbled, mostly into her pillow. “You didn’t have to.”

“You deserve the rest.”

“Come back to bed,” Lexa said, not looking Clarke’s direction.  She just waved her over with the hand that was sticking out.

“Just a sec.”

The refusal made Lexa lift up, she squinted to see what Clarke was working on. “What is that?”

“It’s nothing,” Clarke said, pulling the book inward. “Sometimes I draw. It’s not a big deal.”

“Let me see.”

“You can’t see shit right now, anyway,” Clarke laughed at the way Lexa’s eyes were drawn together.

Lexa huffed, felt around for her nightstand until she found her black rimmed glasses then sat up before slipping them on.  The sheet slipped down to her waist, leaving her chest exposed and Clarke was momentarily mesmerized by the daily stretching routine Lexa performed.

“Okay, now I can see,” Lexa said. “What are you drawing?”

“It’s not done.”

“Are you sketching me?”

“Maybe.”

“Fine.” Lexa rolled out of bed, walking to her dresser.  She made sure to shake her ass just enough to keep Clarke’s attention before slipping on a pair of panties and a t-shirt.  “I don’t have to see it.”

“Is this you being passive aggressive?”

“Yes,” Lexa answered, stopping in front of Clarke.

“It’s strangely cute.”

“Then why can’t I see it?” Lexa asked, leaning down to kiss Clarke’s brow.  She made a line of kisses down Clarke’s cheek to her chin.

Clarke groaned at softness of Lexa’s lips. “You’re trying to kiss me into submission.”

“Am not.”

“Are, too,” Clarke replied. “I told you, it’s not done. I never let anyone see anything until it’s done.  And sometimes not even then.”

“It’s only me,” Lexa reminded her. “But, I get it.”

“It’s funny that you say that like you aren’t the most important person in the world.”

Lexa stared into her eyes, opened her mouth like she was to say something in response and then just sucked in a deep breath.  “You’re very important to me, too, Clarke.  You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said. “I know that.”

“Be right back,” Lexa winked, heading for the bathroom.

When she returned, Clarke was sitting on her bed.  Her sketchbook was clutched inside the arms that were hugging her chest. “I trust you.”

“I’d hope so,” Lexa said, grabbing a pair of shorts and pulling them up her legs. “You’ve been sleeping beside me for days now.  And that’s when you’re most vulnerable.”

“...most vulnerable,” Clarke finished with her. “Lex, I’ve never met anybody who had such a hang up about that.”

“I think you missed the point.”

“Which was?”

“I’m  _ not _ nervous about sleeping next to you,” Lexa clarified. “Because if you really stop to think about it...”

“Your life is in my hands,” Clarke said, trying not to inject any sarcastic undertones. “I know. I know.”

“I’m just saying, I trust you, too, Clarke.”

“Good.” Clarke held out her book in offering. “So, the sketch isn’t really done.  But, since I trust you...and you’re my model...I guess it’s only fair.”

“Your model?” Lexa took it smiling.  Her smile faltered slightly as she saw the likeness of her own toes and her eyes trailed back to Clarke. “This is awesome. You’re really good.  But, I have to ask, do you have some kind of thing for my feet?”

“No, jerk,” Clarke scoffed and flipped back a page. “Look at the whole book.”

Lexa flipped back one to a picture of her sleeping face, another page back was a sketch of her hand, another one featured just her bare shoulder.

“That one was from yesterday morning,” Clarke said meekly as she tapped on the page.

“So, you have a thing for  _ all _ of me?”

Clarke graced her lips with a quick kiss. “I can honestly say I have a thing for  _ all _ of you, Lexa Beckett.”

Lexa tossed the sketchbook onto the chair and brought her hands to Clarke’s face, deepening the kiss.  She had just started to lean Clarke back into her bed when they heard a door slam.

Lexa groaned, “Aden.”

“Why is he slamming doors?”

“He’s not,” Lexa said. “That’s what it sounds like when Aden does anything. He’s a boy. And he’s loud. He’s a loud boy.”

When the two of them finally made it downstairs, they found the loud boy perched on the couch playing a video game.  Lexa picked up the remote on the way by and decreased the volume.

“‘Bout time you crawled out of bed,” he told them, his fingers busy pounding on the keys of a controller. “I had to leggo my own eggo.”

“I’m sure you managed just fine,” Lexa commented as she threw the empty box in the trash.

Clarke ruffled his hair on the way to the kitchen. “Good morning, Aden.”

“Morning,” he greeted her, not even glancing her way. “Do we have any cereal?”

“You just said you ate,” Lexa reminded him.

“I’m still hungry.”

“We can grab something-” Lexa started, but noticed the sheer amount of violence happening onscreen.   “What’s the point of this game?”

“To become the leader of the world by convincing all the people to follow you,” Aden said. “And if they don’t, you kill them.  I’m at about 70/30 with the killing vs. convincing.”

“What’s it called?”

“Ground Attack,” Aden answered while he shot a few more people.  “They’re tough. It’s fine, though. I bleed black, which makes me superior.”

“Really?” Clarke said, taking a closer look. “I would think that means your tissue is necrotic.”

“And if I find something from previous realms, I get points based on value,” Aden explained. “I’m going to get 250 polaris points for a four-slice toaster. I just might have to stab that dude to get it.”

“I don’t think I like this game, A.”

“Well, it’s the one Clarke got me for Christmas, so...”

Lexa looked at Clarke and mouthed, “ _ What the _ ?”

Clarke shrugged. “He asked for it, how was I supposed to know?”

“Gotta read the description, Clarke,” Lexa informed her.  She then turned her attention to Aden, “And A, don’t trick Clarke into buying you something that you know I wouldn’t let you have. She’s new at this.”

“What if he plays with supervision?” Clarke asked, dropping down on the couch and picking up the extra controller. “I can be the adult here.”

“I guess...” Lexa said, still hesitant.  She stood and watched a few more seconds before telling them, “You can play until I’m out of the shower, Aden. Then you’re done...for the day...at least.”

“K, Lex,” Aden agreed.

“I’m serious.”

“Heard you.”

“Go ahead,” Clarke told her. “I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Clarke,” Aden said gratefully.

“Don’t thank me,” Clarke said. “I saw you pass up a Toyota Camry. I bet that’s worth at least 5000 polaris points.”

“Probably more like 10,000,” Aden said.

Clarke did a quick check of the room and then nudged Aden hard when she saw that Lexa was gone.

“Ow!”

“Thanks for getting me into trouble.”

“You’re not in trouble,” Aden shook his head. “Lex is like crazy in love with you. You’re not in trouble.”

“You think?” Clarke asked, trying not sound desperately interested.

“Yep,” Aden answered without pause. “I’ve never seen her so...”

“What?”

“I don’t know. Happy and...chill, maybe?” Aden kept tapping buttons. “Relaxed, I guess. I don’t know how to explain it. She’s different, kind of.  Still Lexa, but less serious about everything.”

“Except Ground Attack,” Clarke said. “Rookie mistake, huh?”

“I bet you ten bucks that this game will disappear overnight.”

“How?” Clarke asked.

“I have a theory that Lex is a cyborg,” Aden offered. “She’ll destroy it with her mind.”

“Shutup, Aden!” the two heard from somewhere in the house.

“And she heard that,” Aden told Clarke. “The evidence is mounting.”

Lexa strolled in half an hour later dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt with a cheesy Beckett Tree Farm logo that was probably three sizes too big.  She plopped down beside Clarke and leaned into her, giving her a kiss on the shoulder.  “Are you beating him?”

“I have no idea,” Clarke answered with a laugh.

“Alright, A. Just because we had a lazy morning doesn’t mean we’re not going to work.”

Aden finished up his video game task and shut it down, looking over as he deposited the controller on the table.  He stopped short at the sight of Lexa’s shirt. “Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve seen that one.”

“Yeah,” Lexa looked down. “I found it again while I was going through some old boxes.”

Aden smiled, “Cool.”

“Is that you?” Clarke asked as she positioned herself for a better look at the stick figure Beckett family depicted on the shirt.

“Yes,” Lexa chuckled. “This was my dad’s favorite. He thought it was hilarious.”

“It’s my favorite, too,” Aden said. “Except my hair didn’t look as good then.”

“So, Clarke,” Lexa’s eyebrows lifted. “Would you care to join us?  Aden is counting tree stumps today.”

“You can help,” Aden said. “Everyone else is off for the week.”

“As much fun as that sounds...,” Clarke said sarcastically, “I have to go home today.”

“Go home?” Aden said in confusion. “I thought you lived here.”

“No,” Lexa whined at the same time. “Why?”

“I’m out of clothes,” Clarke told her as she made herself a seat on Lexa’s lap.  She gripped Lexa’s chin in her hand and kissed her face hard.

“That’s my cue to leave,” Aden announced at the PDA.  He stood up on the couch and leapt over the back before running up the stairs two at a time.

“Was all that necessary?” Clarke asked Lexa, watching her little brother.

“Told ya he’s loud.”

“Yeah.”

Lexa pulled on Clarke’s sleeve. “You know I can wash your stuff, right? Laundry is one of my specialties.”

“Okay, we could keep doing that,” Clarke replied. “But eventually the season will change.”

“I’ll just cut off the sleeves to your hoodies,” Lexa said, smiling. “Problem solved.”

“Is that your plan to make me gayer?”

“Speaking as someone who has seen you in action,” Lexa said lowly. “I don’t think anyone could make you any gayer, Clarke Griffin.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


 

As soon as Clarke entered her shared apartment, Raven picked up her phone and dialed Octavia.  Octavia, of course, was sitting approximately four feet away, but picked up anyway.

“O,” Raven said into the phone. “There’s a stranger in our apartment.”

“Funny,” Clarke commented, throwing her keys on the counter.

Octavia kept playing along, though. “Blonde? Five feet and a half? Looks kinda sassy?”

“That’s the one.”

“I think I know her from somewhere,” Octavia told Raven. “We were friends before she left us for Slex Island.”

Raven pressed the end button and let her phone drop. “That’s sex with Lexa, by the way.”

“You two are hilarious,” Clarke said completely deadpan.

“You look...refreshed,” Octavia said. “I remember that look from when Lincoln and I started dating.”

“Oh, I’m refreshed,” Clarke stated with a devilish grin. “I’m as refreshed as I’ve ever been.  Best refreshing of my life and I’ve been refreshed more than a few times.”

“God, it would take a fire hose to wipe that smile off your face,” Raven pointed out.

“I’m really happy, so fuck off.”

“So how is married life?” Raven inquired.

“Not married,” Clarke corrected. “We’re just hanging out-”

“Having lot of sex,” Octavia interpreted.

“-getting to know each other-”

“Intimately,” Octavia said right after.

“ _ Talking! _ ” Clarke said adamantly.

To which Raven added, “Laughing? Loving? Breathing?”

“That’s enough,” Clarke warned her and then spun around to get a cup of coffee.

“Hi Clarke,” Alie seemingly appeared from nowhere behind her, effectively scaring the ever loving hell out of Clarke.

“Ahh-hey!” Clarke said, taking a giant step back. “Alie! Alie?” She looked at Raven, eyes questioning. “It’s Alie, Rae.”

“Is is.”

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked, harshly at first.  “I mean, hey Alie, what brings you by?”

“I stayed over last night.”

“You did?” Clarke asked her, then spun around to Raven. “She did?”

“She did,” Raven confirmed.

“Fighting, fucking, crying, drinking,” Octavia muttered over her own cup.

“I had no idea that you two were still seeing each other?”

Alie’s lips formed a thin line and walked over to place her hand on Raven’s forearm. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Of course, you are,” Clarke said. “I’m just...new relationship brain, you know?”

“I’m very familiar,” Alie said with a laugh that was just on the maniacal side.

“Actually,” Raven stood up, hand on Alie’s back. “Al, here, was just on her way to work.”

“Okay, then.” Clarke gave her a winning smile and a thumbs up. “Yay pharmacology.”

“And yay...” Alie shrugged. “Whatever it is that you do.”

“Let’s go now.” Raven practically pushed her toward the door.

Clarke looked at Octavia silently asking what the fuck.  Octavia’s face told her she didn’t have a single fucking clue what was happening with those two.  Clarke communicated that Raven really should have broken it off by now.  Octavia agreed.

“I’m so glad we’re on the same page,” Clarke said in relief while pouring a cup of coffee. “We should do an intervention or something.”

“We will. But, first thing’s first. Dress shopping is tomorrow,” Octavia reminded her. “I need you.”

“I’ll be there,” Clarke promised.

“I’m not trying to be a Bridezilla, but you disappear for days on end.”

“I’m not disappearing,” Clarke said.

“She’s not disappearing,” Raven agreed as she sauntered back to her seat. “I know exactly where she is. Besides, I heard Lexa’s twat just got it’s own zip code.  If you just leave your mailing address, I can forward anything important.”

“Speaking of,” Octavia remembered. “You got something from Emerson yesterday.”

“Oh, good!” Clarke exclaimed, setting her cup down and nearly skipping to the shelf that usually housed their mail.  She opened it up and pulled out the contents. “It’s my reference letter...and oh, this was nice.” She waved a smaller envelope. “An invitation to his inauguration next week.”

Raven skimmed the letter from Emerson quickly and when she turned to the second page, she lifted off a post-it note. “Hey, hey, hey.”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“Emerson still wants you,” she told Clarke, handing over the note.

Clarke read it aloud. “ _ Here is the letter you requested. Was happy to write it for you. Though, I hope you reconsider using it and come back to Vermont to your rightful position on my staff _ .”

“Hm,” Octavia said, accepting the note to read for herself.

“No.”

“Would be a great opportunity,” Raven mentioned as she opened the invitation and traced over the fancy lettering.

“No,” Clarke refused. “No discussions. Not happening.”

Octavia looked at her watch and shot up from her seat. “Shit, I have to get going. Clarke, dresses tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes,” Clarke said.

“You promised you’d be there.”

“I will be,” Clarke stated, holding three fingers up. “I’ll be there. In fact, I’m staying here tonight. I’ll be here when you get back so we can fangirl over Bride mags.”

“Yeah?” Octavia asked.

“Absolutely,” Clarke called to her as she walked out the door.

“Liar,” Raven chuckled.  “You won’t make it.”

“I can make it!”

Raven stared at Clarke hard. “I haven’t seen you in four days.  I’ve only gotten three texts and those were all one worders telling me you were alive.  You look like you’ve been at a spa camp and the corners of your mouth are touching your fucking ears.”

“So...”

“So...if my calculations are correct, and they are, you’re in love, Clarkey.” Raven was downright smug. “And this ain’t no pining, will-they-or-won’t-they type bullshit.  This is the swapping bodily fluids on the regular, new and obsessive, all-consuming infatuation kind of squeaky clean love.  You’re honeymoon phasing and the sex must be fucking amazing because you’re favoring your left wrist like you’ve got carpal tunnel and there’s a bite mark on your elbow that looks like it required some type of topical ointment.”

Clarke unconsciously rubbed her fingers over the the indentions. “That was a very good afternoon in her office on her ridiculous throne chair,” she recalled.

“You won’t make it.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


“Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god!” Clarke accidentally opened a cabinet and banged it shut in her excitement.

“Shh!” Lexa popped up from between her legs, face stern.

Clarke fought every urge in her body not to push her head back down where it had been. “Sorry,” she apologized instead.  “I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet.”

Lexa reached up to kiss her lips softly. “Should I continue?”

“Uh huh.”

“And you won’t scream?” Lexa whispered.

“I’ll try not to.”

Lexa pecked her bottom lip before descending down Clarke’s throat, over the t-shirt that had been pushed up, and finally buried her face in Clarke’s still bra-encased cleavage.

“Lex.”  Clarke struggled to stay upright while her bare ass was planted on the kitchen countertops. One hand was gripping the top of the refrigerator while the other was hanging on for dear life around a cabinet knob. She had some sense of balance while her foot was on Lexa’s shoulder, but every time Clarke got close she was basically stomping Lexa’s collarbone.  The other foot still had panties looped around an ankle just in case one of her roommates started down the stairs, so that one was out.

“What?” Lexa asked, voice muffled by boobs.

“Baby, we have to do this before I slip off and break my ass.”

Lexa pulled back, “For the ninth time, why can’t we just go up to your room?”

“Basic consideration for the other people that live here,” Clarke answered soundly.

Lexa wasn’t entirely convinced, but she returned her attention downward anyway. She braced herself and started with delicate passes of her tongue against Clarke’s inner thigh, teasing her with intent of working Clarke back up.

“Yeah, yeah,” Clarke said impatiently. “We did all that. Go right to the goods.”

“Bossy,” Lexa complained, but started to lick Clarke out anyway.

Clarke wanted to be closer, pushing herself as far as she could while so precariously positioned. She finally abandoned all thoughts of safety and used her hand to press Lexa’s face into her. Her fingers curling into Lexa’s hair for leverage.  Lexa pushed Clarke’s legs out wider and slipped a finger in slowly.

“That’s it,” Clarke cheered her on. “Deeper.”

Lexa obeyed and then took a quick breath and sucked hard on Clarke’s clit, swirling her tongue simultaneously.  That did it.  Clarke’s thighs snapped against Lexa’s face while at the same time, Clarke’s head fell backward making a loud thump against the cabinets.  

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked worriedly, pulling out of Clarke to reach for her head.

“I’m fine,” Clarke said wincing, both at her head and the abrupt loss of Lexa’s finger.

“You sure?”

“Worth it,” Clarke breathed out, eyes still closed.

“Does it hurt?”

“Nope.”

Lexa ran her fingertips over the back of her head anyway, feeling for a bump. “You hit it pretty hard.”

“That’s what she said,” Clarke said with a grin.

Lexa let her hands drop, “Gross. Now I’m less worried about a possible concussion.”

“I’m fine.” Clarke pulled her in and held her close, arms draped over shoulders and her legs snaked around Lexa’s waist.  “I missed you so much today.”

“I’m here,” Lexa said, enjoying the sweet kisses Clarke pressed her ear.

“Thanks for coming.”

Lexa chuckled, “Yeah, okay.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Lex, what?” Clarke asked again, pulling back to see her face. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because this was a booty call, Clarke,” Lexa said.

Clarke had the good sense to look completely offended, “Was not.”

“Any text after 11 pm asking if I, and I quote ‘wanna chill’ is a booty call.”

“You’re my girlfriend,” Clarke argued. “That negates all calling of the booty.”

“No, it doesn’t, pirate.”

“It does.”

“Clarke...”

“Lexa, it was not a booty call,” Clarke said. “I’m above such things.”

“Let me guess,” Lexa said. “Raven gave you heaps of shit for staying with me for the last several days and you’re trying to prove that you can go a night without going back to my place.”

“No...”

“Clarke.”

“Maybe.”

“Clar-ke.”

“Okay,” Clarke finally broke. “But! She didn’t say that you couldn’t come to me.”

“Very sly.”

“I know,” Clarke winked, dragging Lexa’s face back to hers.

Lexa let herself get lost in a quick makeout session before taking a step back. “I’m thirsty,” she said.

“Me, too.” Clarke dipped her hand into the front of Lexa’s pants.

“No,” Lexa grabbed the hand and kissed her knuckle. “Literally.”

Clarke slid off the counter, pulling her panties back up.  She found her pajama pants that had somehow ended up wrapped around the blender.  She flicked on a light and noticed for the first time that she was twinkling.

“What is this?”

“What is what?” Lexa asked distractedly as she rooted the fridge around for a bottle of water.

“Is this glitter?” Clarke asked, studying the little specks now covering her hands. “Honey, did you bedazzle yourself?”

“Oh,” Lexa nodded.  She popped her tee, which still had glitter marks. “Aden was working on the signs for tree recycling area and all we had were glitter pens.”

Clarke grabbed the hem of her shirt, dragging her nearer.  “You don’t have to lie,” she said between kisses. “I totally appreciate the fact you want to sparkle for me.”

“It’s one in the morning,” Lexa said, placing her water on the island next to her keys. “I drove an hour because you wanted to have sex. And now I’m going back home.  So, yes to booty call. No, to glittering for you.”

“Don’t go,” Clarke frowned, bottom lip extended.

“I have to,” Lexa said. “Gus has the early morning shift at the deli and Aden and I are doing more tree inventory in the morning. Then we’re making some mulch. So it’s going to be a morning with the Becketts, a chainsaw, and the good ol’ wood chipper.”

“That sucks,” Clarke kept pouting. “My mornings are so much better when I wake up to your knee in my back and that cute droolly face.”

“Come home with me,” Lexa suggested and she let her hands wander to Clarke’s ass. “You know you want to.”

“I can’t.”

“You can,” Lexa said. “You’re an adult. You can sleep wherever you want. And by that, I mean with me. Don’t sleep anywhere else.”

“Ha,” Clarke said. “No, I meant the the appointment is pretty early tomorrow.”

“For what, again?”

“Dress shopping,” Clarke answered. “And if I’m not there, O will be so fucking pissed. She already gave me a lowkey warning. Which was not lowkey at all. It was more like a demand that I show.”

“Okay, okay,” Lexa said.

“I’m sorry.”

Lexa shook her head, “Don’t be. Octavia is your best friend. You’re going to be there for her. That’s why I l-”

Clarke’s lungs suddenly ceased functioning and her eyes snapped to Lexa’s awaiting the declaration she’d been trying not to hope for.

“That’s why you’re you,” Lexa said after the briefest of pauses. “You’re a great friend.”

Clarke swallowed hard, willing herself not to be disappointed. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” Lexa said. “I better...” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder and turned, but stopped halfway. “Hey,” Lexa gestured toward the large envelope that was left on the counter. “Emerson?”

“Yeah,” Clarke answered. “He wrote one of my references.”

“Oh, that was nice,” Lexa said, smiling.

“And, this is funny,” Clarke fake laughed. “He still wants me to work for him.”

The smile on Lexa’s face faltered. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that something-”

“No,” Clarke cut her off before the question. “Not an option.”

“Okay,” Lexa said, taking backward steps toward the door. “Well, I’m going to get on the road.”

“K,” Clarke followed her to the door. “Be careful.”

“Okay,” Lexa said flatly.

Clarke pushed up on her toes to kiss her, but missed and got her chin. “Text me when you get home,” Clarke told her.

“Yep,” Lexa said before leaving.

Clarke stood at the door for a few seconds after wondering what the hell had just happened because that was awkward as fuck.  She opened to door and checked down the corridor. Lexa had already made it onto the elevator.  She walked out and then realized she didn’t have any shoes on and she looked a mess, so she returned to her apartment, stood there another minute and told herself that she was overreacting.  Clarke quietly tiptoed up the stairs and past Octavia’s room.  She had nearly made it past Raven’s when she heard a voice bellow from within.

“You’re bleaching every fucking surface in that kitchen tomorrow.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


 

Clarke leaned back in her stark white chair and rolled her eyes at Octavia’s assigned Wedding Gown Expert as she explained the difference between a Mermaid silhouette and a Trumpet.

Raven, sipping on her complimentary champagne, leaned over to Clarke. “She’s hot.”

“Who?” Clarke asked. “O?”

“No, not O,” Raven’s face scrunched in disgust. “Echo.”

“Who the fuck is Echo?”

“The Dress Girl.”

“Her name is Echo?”

“Yeah,” Raven said. “Or do you think they give you a fake name here?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied. “Maybe it adds to the whole dress buying experience.”

“What do you think?” Octavia asked them as she twirled.

“I like it,” Raven said. “And that neckline. Amirite, Echo?”

Echo smiled widely. “It suits Miss Blake so well. As does the Fishtail train.”

“Definitely,” Raven winked at her.

“Clarke?” Octavia asked.

Clarke grinned. “You look beautiful. I agree with Raven.”

“So, it’s a maybe,” Octavia said, spinning back around to look in the wall of mirrors.

Clarke waited until Octavia had gone back to the fitting room before pulling out her cell phone again.

“You’re a terrible friend,” Raven said. “You’re not even paying attention.”

“You’re hitting on The Dress Girl,” Clarke shot back. “You’re only complimenting the choices  _ she’s _ made.”

“She’s good.”

“You’re already fucking Alie,” Clarke reminded her. “And Echo has a spark in her eye that makes me think if the two ever met, you might not make it out alive.”

“If you would have just let me put the flirt on your mom, this would never have happened.”

Clarke didn’t even dignify that with a response. Instead she typed out a quick message to Lexa.

_ Do you know the difference between Trumpet and Mermaid? _

“What’s the deal with you today, anyway?” Raven asked.

“Nothing.”

“You’re tense.”

Clarke rolled her head around to stretch her neck, feeling said tension. “Lexa and I had a thing last night.”

“That’s called sex, Clarke,” Raven informed her needlessly. “It’s not a dirty word. You can say it.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“But that’s what happened,” Raven went on. “And it happened less than two feet away from where I keep my Tony Stark mug.  I could have been poisoned.”

“Rae!”

“What?”

“It was a non-fight,” Clarke said. “You know what I mean? Not a fight. Not even a disagreement. Just an awkward situation.”

“Yeah,” Raven nodded. “I know what you’re saying. About what?”

“Emerson’s job offer.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah.”

Raven shifted in her chair, sitting up straighter. “Did you bring that up?”

Clarke shook her head, “No. She saw the envelope.”

“Oh,” Raven said. “I can see where that would be a sore subject.”

“But I’m not taking it.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“Of course,” Clarke answered at the same time her phone buzzed with Lexa’s reply.

_ Brass instrument. Half fish, half girl? Is this a riddle? _

Clarke smiled at the response. She typed one back.

_ Dress silhouettes apparently. What are you doing? _

“Tell her again,” Raven said. “The way you both left things when you went to Vermont is always going to be a black mark on your relationship. Make sure she knows it’s not happening again. She saw that envelope and probably immediately imagined you in traditional Dutch dress giving historical tours at a three room Bed and Breakfast.”  At Clarke’s obvious confusion, she added, “Okay, maybe that’s just me.”

“I don’t think I can get much clearer,” Clarke said. “I love her, Rae.”

“Have you told her that?”

Clarke sighed, “No. But, I think she wants to tell me.”

“Tell  _ her _ ,” Raven said, passing Clarke her glass of champagne.

As Clarke took a drink, Octavia came back out in one of the ugliest things she’s ever seen.  To keep her opinion off her face, she just kept on gulping.

“So?” Octavia asked.

“Eh,” Raven made a motion for her to spin.

While O was spinning, Clarke checked her messages.

_ Aden and I are about to load up the recycled trees. B busy for most of the morning. Have fun with rae and O and dresses. _

Clarke frowned, but responded.

_ I missed you this morning. First time I woke up without you in a week. :(  You’re always so warm and waking up before the alarm isn’t so bad when I get Lexa cuddles. _

“Spin again,” Raven said to Octavia, still trying to buy time.

“I think it’s all about the waistline,” Echo said as she fluffed out the train. “Don’t you agree, Miss...”

It took Raven a second to realize she was being addressed. “Reyes.”

“Miss Reyes.”

“I think the waistline is in the right place,” Raven said. “And the dress is, is, is white.  And those sleeves...made of lace.”

“White!” Clarke latched onto a random word and repeated it. Then tried another. “Sleeves.”

“Let’s see another one,” Raven suggested. “The opposite of this one?”

“Opposite?” Octavia asked.

“Something  _ completely _ different,” Raven said.

When Octavia was gone, Clarke checked her phone.

_ I missed you, too. _

“That’s it?” Clarke asked out loud. “She missed me, too.”

“You’re going to have to get more involved over here,” Raven said. “I can’t give an honest opinion without offending Echo, but I can’t be responsible for O walking down the aisle and looking like she’s from a prairie.”

“Yes.” Clarke wasn’t listening.  She was typing.

_ Can I come see you tonight? _

“Clarke!”

“What?”

“Help me out.”

Clarke put her phone down just as Octavia and Echo were coming back out.

“It’s Octavia in a ball of taffeta,” Raven whispered.

Clarke could tell by the look on O’s face that it wasn’t really what she had in mind.  “It’s not speaking to me,” she said as Echo walked around Octavia in a circle.

“Really?” Echo asked. “Because it’s screaming at me.”

“Screaming for help?”

“I think what Clarke means is that, Octavia isn’t much of a screamer,” Raven interjected. “Not that I would know.  I mean, I do, but not personally.  Because her room is next to mine. We’re roommates. She’s marrying a dude.  I’m not. Not marrying a dude. Because I like ladies. Not only ladies, but mostly.  Not most ladies, just some.”

While Octavia was busy being as perplexed as hell about the jumble of words falling out of Raven’s mouth, Clarke was able to check for a text.

_ Y _

That was it.  That was all the text said.

_ Y? Um. Because you’re my girlfriend and I want to see you. Is that not a good enough answer? Damn, lex. _

“Rae, stop,” Clarke put an end to it. “O, no.”

“Raven said opposite,” Octavia said, looking over her shoulder at the back of the dress. “Echo said this was the opposite of the last one.”

“Pick something you like,” Clarke told her. “Not something Echo wants to sell. No offense,” she tacked to while looking at Echo. “It’s your wedding day. And you’re getting married to Lincoln. And you guys are so great. So, pick a dress that you love and makes you as fluttery as he does.”

“Okay,” Octavia said determinedly and stomped back toward the dressing rooms.

Clarke checked her phone as soon as her back was turned.

_ Not why, Clarke. Y was for yes. Yes, come see me. Are you okay? _

“I kinda fucked that up,” Raven said, referring to her speech to Echo.

Clarke reread her message. “So did I, Rae. So did I.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  
  
Lexa pulled her goggles up to her forehead and placed the chainsaw on the ground.  She pulled her cell out of her pocket.

_ Oh. sorry. I’m fine. C you later. _

“Hm,” Lexa said.

“What?” Aden asked.

“Clarke.”

“What about Clarke?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa said. “I was there last night and got freaked out by something. I think she’s freaked at my freaking.”

“Does she have six toes?” Aden inquired thoughtfully. “I’ve been wondering because her shoes are extra wide.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Lexa told him while typing a text.

_ Good. Can’t wait. _

“It would be okay if she did,” Aden said. “I would just worry that your kids would have six toes, too.”

“She doesn’t. Five on each foot. I promise.”

“Then what freaked you out?”

“My own insecurities,” Lexa said under her breath.

“What?”

“What did you want to ask earlier?” Lexa changed the subject as they picked up the branches from the used Christmas trees and stacked them into a wheelbarrow. “I couldn’t hear you over the saw.”

“Uh, wasn’t important,” Aden shrugged it off.

Lexa stopped working and studied him. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It was just about the house.”

“What about it?”

“Just wanted to know if I could get the key,” Aden said as nonchalantly as possible.

“You have a key to the-” Lexa stopped talking, and moving, and maybe breathing. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Uh...” Lexa bent down to pick up another branch. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Really?” Aden couldn’t hide his surprise.

Lexa tossed the branch into the wheelbarrow with some force. “Of course, you can. Why wouldn’t I give you the key?  If you want it, you can have it.”

“Okay.”

“You want to see it, I presume?” Lexa asked him.

“Yeah, I’d like to.”

“Since when?”

Aden lifted the handles of the wheelbarrow and started to roll away. “Since always, Lex.”

“Always?” Lexa asked, jogging a few steps to catch up. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“ _ You _ didn’t.”

“That’s not true-”

“Yes, it is,” Aden countered. “And I didn’t want to piss you off.”

“You’re not pissing me off, that’s silly,” Lexa told him.  “But, A, I’m not sure that’s something I want you doing by yourself.”

“You don’t have to go.”

“I will. Or Gus can.”

“Clarke will go with me,” Aden said. “She said she would.”

“You talked to Clarke about it? When?”

“A couple of weeks ago,” Aden informed her. “While we were looking for her tree.”

“Why didn’t she tell me that?”

“Did you miss the part where we didn’t want to piss you off?”

“I’m not pissed off!” Lexa reiterated.

“Oh-kay,” Aden said, not believing her at all.  They walked in silence for a while before he worked up the courage to ask, “Do you not want to live there because he was coming over to finish it when they died?  Do you think he thought it was more important than us?”

“No,” Lexa answered immediately. “I never thought that...did you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said. “At first.”

“Shit just happens, Aden,” Lexa told him. “I know that it doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair that it was our mom and dad, but it’s true.  Accidents happen. They happen and there’s nothing we can do about it. They never in a million years thought they wouldn’t come home to us.”

“I know that.” Aden stopped as they reached the end of the row.  From here, they could actually see the house on the hill overlooking the rest of the farm.  They both stopped and stared.

“He loved that place,” Lexa said. “It became his dream to build mom’s dream. He told me that all time.  Not that I was really listening.  I wish I had been.”

“He really loved her,” Aden said.

“He did,” she agreed. “And she loved him, too.  She was just...”

“Mom,” he finished.

“Yeah,” Lexa said.

“So why wouldn’t you want to see it?”

“I always thought it would never be the same without them,” Lexa said. “He was the one who was building her dream.  Without them here, it’s just a house.  It’s theirs and they don’t get to enjoy it, so why should I get to?”

“But...” Aden looked at her. “I do.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Lexa opened the front door just a few seconds after Clarke knocked.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Clarke said shyly.  She ducked her head and put her hand against the jamb. “Can I come in?”

“No,” Lexa said.

Clarke’s head shot up.  “No?”

“I’m going to get food,” Lexa clarified. “So, you can, yes. But, I won’t be here.”

“Can I come with?”

Lexa wrapped her hand around Clarke’s neck pulling her into a gentle kiss.  She let their lips brush against each other twice before saying, “I was hoping you would.”

Not a lot was said on the drive until Lexa pulled into the parking lot of the local market.

“By food, you meant grocery shopping?” Clarke asked. “I thought Chinese.”

“I have a teenage boy at home, I have to keep the house stocked,” Lexa said. “Kid eats everything.”

“Where is he, by the way?” Clarke asked as she slid out of the passenger seat of Lexa’s SUV.

“He’s staying with a friend,” Lexa answered. “Also, he’s giving us a little space for the night.  He said it was his gift to us.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Thanks A.”

“Yeah, and he gets to play Ground Attack for another night,” Lexa said as she got a cart out of the corral and continued into the store. She let Clarke pass through the sliding door of the market first. “He must have taken it, because I can’t find it anywhere.”

“That game was 80 bucks!”

“I’m not going to destroy it,” Lexa promised. “I’m just going to hide it for three years or so.”

“I guess that’s better.”

“And, while we’re discussing senseless violence, I forgot to tell you that Titus invited us out to the shooting range,” Lexa said. “Says he wants to get to know you better.”

“At a shooting range?” Clarke asked. “Red flags, Lex.”

“Oh, we’re not going,” Lexa told her. “I was just telling you he invited us.  Dude shoots like a drunk penguin in a prom gown.  There’s no way I’m putting us in danger like that.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said sincerely. “Do you ever have trouble understanding him?”

Lexa dropped some orange slices into the cart. “Philosophically?”

“No, audibly,” Clarke declared. “I can’t hear a fucking thing he says. Is it just me?”

“Maybe I’m used to it,” Lexa said. “I’ve known him since I was little.”

“Maybe.”

“Did O find a dress today?” Lexa asked, turning up an aisle and casually browsing.

“Yeah!” Clarke smiled brightly at the memory of Octavia’s face when she came out wearing her wedding dress. “It’s beautiful.”

“Good.”

Clarke let a moment pass before she said, “Hey, I know I haven’t formally asked, but you’re going to be my date, right?”

“To the wedding?” Lexa asked. “Yes.”

“Good.” Clarke hooked a finger into Lexa’s pocket and tugged. “How’d the tree disposing go?”

“Fine.”  Lexa kissed her cheek and reached around her for some crackers. “Snack time is the right time.”

Lexa held them up, asking Clarke if she liked that particular brand. “Yum,” she answered. “Hey, I’m sorry about going off the rails a little with that text.”

“I could have been more specific,” Lexa said easily. “No big deal.”

“When you left my apartment last night...”

“I needed to get out before I was begging you to not to leave me again,” Lexa confessed.

Clarke was stunned by the admission. “Why?”

“I saw the address and just got scared, I guess.”

“But, I’m not going back, Lex.”

“K.” Lexa nodded and made a move to get around her, but Clarke stopped her with a hand to her chest.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” Lexa confided. “But, it’ll be okay if you do. I know that now.”

Clarke lingered in front of her and let her finger trail to a medallion that was hanging off a chain around Lexa’s neck.  She touched it. “Is this new?”

“Old.” Lexa then elaborated, “I’ve had it for years, actually.”

“I’ve never seen it.”

“I hadn’t worn in in forever,” Lexa said. “My mom gave it to me after I came out. It’s a captain’s wheel.  She said it was to remind me to always steer my own ship.  Honestly, at the the time I just thought it was another one of her ridiculous Navy metaphors, but...”

“But?”

“Makes more sense now,” Lexa said, rubbing the pendant between her fingers.

“And how did your mom take your coming out?” Clarke eyed her curiously. “How old were you?”

“Fifteen, barely,” Lexa answered. “She was okay.  I think she was surprised.  My dad never skipped a beat about it.  He was cool with it, we never even had to talk about it. Mom, though, Mom definitely took her time with it.  It was probably a week later when she gave me this.  And she just said that it was okay and she wanted me to be me.”

“That’s nice.”

“It was,” Lexa nodded. “I’ve been thinking a lot about them recently.”

“Your parents?”

“Yeah,” Lexa confirmed. “I would have really liked for them to have met you.”

Clarke sucked in a breath, the implication striking her. “I wish I could have known them.”

“They would have loved you,” Lexa said. “Dad would have  _ loved _ you, without question.  And my mom would have been really serious, but she would have respected your ambition. And they would know that you make me happy.”

Clarke reached for her hand and squeezed it.  “You make me happy, too.”

“And you’re awesome with Aden,” Lexa said. “And since we’re sort of on the subject, he told me you two discussed the house.”

“He did?” Clarke asked nervously.

“Thank you,” Lexa said, taking Clarke by surprise. “I’m glad he has someone he can talk to if he thinks he can’t come to me.”

“Always.”

“He wants to live out there,” Lexa said.

“He told me that, too,” Clarke stated. “Is that something you’d consider?”

Lexa clenched her jaw. “I think so.  I need to see it first.  Deal with my own feelings about it.  And it been empty for years, so there are things that probably need updating, fixing.  Aden would have to switch schools.  We’d probably sell the house here.”

“All doable.”

“Is that, maybe...” Lexa walked ahead a bit and grabbed some alfredo sauce off the shelf. “Something  _ you’d _ consider?”

Clarke’s eyebrow raised ever so slightly. “What’s that?”

“Moving to the new house?”

“Me?”

“Moving in with me,” Lexa said, grasping the alfredo sauce so hard that she could have hulked right through it. “And Aden, of course.”

Clarke noticed and took it from her, setting it in the cart. “Is that a real question?”

“Will you move in with me?” Lexa tried again.

“And are you asking me that question in front of spaghetti noodles?”

“Technically, you’re in front of the gluten free rotini, but whatever.”

“Lexa...”

“I know that you haven’t decided about law schools yet,” Lexa started. “And I know you’ve got a job offer on the table, but it we could still make it work wherever you are.  Your permanent address could be mine. That’s all. Think about it.”

“Okay, I know that I’m a bi, but this still feels awfully U-Hauly.”

“Yeah,” Lexa acknowledged. “But you don’t have to move in tomorrow.  You could, but you’ve got roommates and a lease and other decisions to make before-”

“Lex, there aren’t really other decisions to make-”

“I just want you to do what you want to do, Clarke.”

“I want you,” Clarke divulged. “I want you and I want Aden. And yeah, I want law school, but I also want spring planting seasons and selling Christmas trees on Thanksgiving. So, as long as I get in, I’m staying at Georgetown. Because, ultimately, I want you.  And I want lazy Sunday mornings in bed with you and Tuesday afternoons at Aden’s soccer games. I want to be grocery shopping with you and I want to watch you cut up a tree with a chainsaw. Which I’m sorry I missed, because it’s probably really sexy.”

“It’s really not-”

“I’m in love with you, you doofus.”

Lexa’s breath caught in her throat.  She took a small step forward, reached for Clarke’s hip and noticed some woman watching them just over Clarke’s shoulder.

“Get your penne and keep moving,” Lexa said with unquestioned authority.  Lexa glared at her until the woman had vacated the area. When she and Clarke were alone again, Lexa said softly, “I’m in love with you, too.”

“Yeah?” Clarke smiled, fingertips brushing over Lexa’s jaw.

“Yes, Clarke.”

“I hoped so,” Clarke admitted. “I thought you were going to say it last night.”

“I know,” Lexa laughed because she had been so obvious. “But, I had just fucked you in your kitchen between your microwave and the coffee machine. It was the middle of the night, I was tired and I’m pretty sure we having sex to the sultry sounds of Adult Swim. It didn’t feel like the most romantic of times.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Clarke remarked. “I love you. You love me. That’s what matters.”

  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
  
“Can we?” Aden asked, hopefulness all over his face. “You said that we could.”

Lexa swallowed hard, “I know.”

“Lex.”

“Aden,” Lexa picked up a random folder. “I have some stuff to get through.”

Clarke massaged Lexa’s shoulders, offering support.  “I could go with him, if you don’t want to. It’s not a big deal, you can go later.”

“I’m going,” Lexa said. She looked at Aden and said sincerely, “I want to.”

The three of them set off on the path between the trees toward the house, Aden leading the way.  Clarke and Lexa hung back just a few steps, holding each other’s gloved hands.  It was the last day it would be just the three of them.  The rest of the regular crew would be back tomorrow, scattered around, working on the winter projects.

“Are you going to move in when we do?” Aden asked Clarke halfway into the trip.

“Yeah,” Clarke answered, looking at Lexa.

“After your school year is over,” Lexa told him. “That’s about the same time as Clarke’s lease is up.”

“Are you okay with that?” Clarke asked him.

“How else are you going to get married and have babies?” he asked.

“A!” Lexa scolded him.

“He’s right,” Clarke said, squeezing Lexa’s hand. “But that didn’t really answer my question.”

“Yeah,” Aden confirmed. “I’m glad you’re going to be living with us.”

“Great,” Clarke smiled.

“Chores split three ways,” Aden said. “What’s not to like?”

“That’s a good point,” Lexa joked.

Clarke stopped abruptly, eyes wide and whispered, “Baby, don’t freak out.”

Lexa froze. “Why?”

“There’s a spider on your neck,” Clarke said, leaning closer.

Lexa’s whole body clenched as she said through her teeth. “Well, get it the fuck off, Clarke.”

Clarke looked around for something to lift it off, “Just don’t move.”

“I won’t!”

Just as Clarke was taking off her shoe to smack it, Aden walked up and thumped it away.

“Done,” he said.  “And I think it was just fuzz or something.”

Lexa scratched at her neck anyway. “Are you sure?”

“Either that or it was the mothership spider here to call you home,” Aden cackled as he thumped her properly in the neck this time. “Never know.”

“Sure, but when you’re 80 and I’m still twenty-two, will you still be laughing?” Lexa asked with a mischievous grin.

Aden thought about that. “That would suck.”

“LexBot would be hot, though,” Clarke mused. “I would be fine with it.”

“Now, you’ve ruined it,” Aden complained.

As they cleared the path, Clarke looked over the backlot. “Hey, the baby spruces are looking good.”

“Not too bad,” Lexa agreed.

“Can’t believe you tried to burn it all down,” Aden laughed.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Clarke argued. “I was drunk!”

“You were drunk?”

“On life,” Lexa tried to no avail.

“Yeah, right,” Aden shook his head.

Wasn’t long before they were covering the overgrown trail to the house. The closer they got, they all got quieter. Lexa had curled her arm around Clarke’s claiming that she was cold.  Aden fell behind his sister, letting her lead him.  Sooner than they were probably ready, they were standing at the door.

Lexa found the key that had always been on her key ring, but she had never used.  “You want to do the honors?” she asked Aden already handing over the key.

He nodded, accepting it and unlocked the door.

Clarke let them walk in by themselves.  She figured they needed a few minutes together in the place that should have been their home.

They weren’t even gone for a full minute before Lexa was standing at the entrance. She held out a hand, “C’mon. I’m not sure I can do this without you.”

She took it without hesitation, knowing she’d go anywhere Lexa needed her to.

“Are you guys coming?” Aden asked.  He hadn’t gone very far, either.

“This is it,” Lexa said as she clutched Clarke’s hand. Her other arm somehow found itself around Aden’s shoulder as she hugged him close.

“Just like I remembered,” he said.

Clarke smiled knowingly. “Welcome home.”


	16. Perverted Regeneration / Epilogue Type Thing

Clarke woke slowly at the feel of a tickle on her face.  She turned away from it, tried to swat it away until she heard a soft laugh.

“Good morning,” Lexa’s voice trickled in through the haze.

“Hrm,” was the reply.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered into her ear. “I’m heading out.”

“No,” Clarke shook her head, finally opening her eyes to find Lexa hovering over her on all fours. “Why so early?”

“I have some errands to run,” she answered.

Clarke pulled her arms out from under the covers and reached for her girlfriend, sorely disappointed when she felt the rough material instead of silky skin. “Clothes, nooo.”

Lexa’s laugh was deeper than the one before. “I don’t like ‘em either.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s torso and pulled, forcing her down onto Clarke’s body. “There.”

“Is this where you want me?”

“Always,” Clarke mumbled, letting her head roll to the side and closing her eyes again.

“Clarke...”

“Go back to sleep.”

Lexa kissed the exposed skin on Clarke’s neck, then her jaw before she wrestled out of Clarke’s grasp and onto the floor. “Have to go.”

“Dammit!” Clarke shot up to catch her. “We were supposed to stay in bed all day. I don’t have class and you're going to blow off work.”

“I have a ton of stuff to do today. I have to run and pick up some supplies for the shops, then I have a few projects to finish up on the farm. It’s going to be a busy one.”

“Sounds like I’m not even going to see you.”

“Tomorrow,” Lexa said, leaning in for another quick kiss. “Tomorrow I’m all yours.”

“You swear?”

Lexa ran her fingers through blonde hair. “I swear, Clarke. Tomorrow. Me and you. Bed. No clothes.”

“Yum,” Clarke replied.

Lexa was nearly to the door when she turned around, “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” she said.

“Love you, too,” Clarke sat as she collapsed back onto the bed, nearly back to sleep already.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

“So today is the big day?” Octavia asked as she struggled mightily to work herself out of her car. 

Lexa couldn’t help but giggle, as she ducked in to help pull her out. “Today’s the day.”

“Stop laughing.”

“I can’t help it.”

“One day,” Octavia said in warning. “This will happen to you and it won’t be nearly as funny.”

“We’ll see,” Lexa said, finally getting O upright and letting her take her arm as she waddled into the cafe. “Maybe I can talk Clarke into doing it.”

“Does she suspect anything?”  Octavia asked as she scooted herself across the booth, trying to find a comfortable position.

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked instead of answering.

“I’m eight months pregnant, Lex,” Octavia replied. “I feel like somebody shoved a ham up my vagina and it’s about to shoot out like confetti.”

“Well, that was graphic,” Raven said as she slid into the space next to Lexa. “I really would rather not get caught at that ticker tape parade.”

“Shut up, Rae,” Octavia sneered.

“She’s been bitchy since her sixth month,” Raven commented.  She pulled a box out of her pocket and set it on the table. “Sized to perfection. Polished and shiny. Here’s your diamond.”

“Thank you!” Lexa said as she scooped it up, flipping the box and looking at it for the two thousand, eight hundred and fifty-ninth time since she bought it months ago.

“Damn,” Octavia said, adjusting herself to see it better. “That’s some rock.”

“You think she’ll like it?”

“Well, look at it this way,” Raven started. “She loves you so much that if she doesn’t, she probably won’t tell you.”

“She’s going to love it,” Octavia said, shooting Raven a look.  

“What?”

“You’re making her nervous.”

“I was already nervous,” Lexa said.

“There’s no reason to be,” Octavia assured her. “It’s going to be a great night.”

“The two of you have been grossly in love for what? Three years now,” Raven said. “Nobody has ever wanted to marry anybody else more in the history of the world. It’s time to put a ring on it.”

“Thanks,” Lexa smiled at the encouragement.

“Now, tell us what you need us to do,” Raven asked.

“Did you talk to Abby?” Lexa asked.

“Yes, she’ll be there.”

“And Jake?”

“Abby is picking him up at the airport.”

“And you think you can keep her away all afternoon?”

“Yep,” Octavia chimed in. “I’ve already talked to her this morning. Rae and I will have her knee-deep in nursery decor for hours.”

Lexa’s phone rattled on the table, making everyone stop and stare.

“Answer it,” Raven nudged it toward her.

“No,” Lexa said, pushing it away. “She’s going to ask what I’m doing and I can’t lie to her. She’ll know. Remember when I tried to plan that surprise birthday party?”

“Disaster,” Octavia remembered.

“I got all caught up in my lies and told her the wrong time,” Lexa recalled. “It was a backwards surprise party.”

“Yeah, you suck,” Raven agreed. “Are you just planning to ignore her all day?”

“That’s why I needed you two to distract her.”

“So what happens until then?”

Lexa looked at the clock on her phone, “Gus should be calling her any minute for a favor. That’ll keep her occupied for a while.”

“This goes deeper than I thought,” Raven commented. “I like it.”

“Sounds like you’ve got it under control,” Octavia said. “Which is good because I’ve got to pee and take my third nap of the day.”

“Okay,” Lexa held up the ring, “I’m going to lock this thing up in my office, check Aden out of school and go get ready to propose.”

“...Aaaand break!”

  
  


* * *

  
  


 

“Long time, no see,” Gustus said when he caught sight of Clarke strolling into A Thousand Cuts.

“Hey Uncle Gus,” she greeted him as she stepped behind the counter of the deli and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s about time you come see me.” He was busy packing up several sandwiches for Clarke to take back to the farm. “You’ve been MIA for a while, kiddo.”

“School’s been kicking my ass, but I’m free and clear for the couple of days.”

“Good,” he said. “Everybody needs a break every once in a while.”

“You should take your own advice,” she hinted, handing him the sandwiches left on the counter. “Couldn’t get away?”

“All by myself today,” he shrugged, gathering some condiments in his huge hands and tossing them in the bag. “I can’t believe Lexa forgot that she was going to feed the Crew today.”

“Yeah, that’s not like her,” Clarke frowned. “You’ve talked to her though, right?”

“I did earlier, she said you wouldn’t mind driving up here,” Gus said. “Hope you didn’t.”

“Of course not,” Clarke smiled sincerely. “She was in a rush this morning. She said she had some errands to run and some stuff to finish up on the farm, so...”

“I understand,” he said, folding the bag down and sliding it toward Clarke. “That girl of yours works hard.”

Clarke grinned and grabbed the sack, “She does.”

“And so do you,” Gus stated. “I hear you’re about to wrap up your second year.”

“Just a few more weeks.”

“Congratulations.”

“Yeah, don’t congratulate me yet,” Clarke said. “Still have some work to do.”

“You’ll be fine. You’re a smart kid.”

“Thanks, Gus.” She gave him a grateful hug.

“And tell my niece and nephew that we need to get together for dinner,” Gus told her. “All of us.”

“We will absolutely do that,” Clarke agreed as she turned for the door.  “Are you busy tonight?”

Gus shook his head, “Can’t tonight.”

That stopped Clarke, “Why not? You have big plans Uncle Gus?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“What kind of plans?” Clarke asked, walking back toward him. “Are you seeing somebody?”

“Why so many questions?”

“Because I’ve known you for a while and you’ve never had plans that didn’t involve us,” Clarke said.

Gus panicked a bit, knowing this was true. “I’m bowling.”

“Bowling?” Clarke asked suspiciously.

“Bowling. A guy can bowl.”

“Alright, another time then.”

“Some other time,” he said as she left the deli. He blew out a breath and dialed Lexa’s phone number. When she picked up, he said, “You’re about to marry quite the interrogator...”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  
“Can you even get low enough to bowl? I’d be suspicious, too,” Lexa said into the phone. She unlocked the car door when Aden knocked on the window. “It’s alright, Gus...okay...she doesn’t know and if she did, it wouldn’t be because you said you were bowling...fine, enjoy the league. Thanks, bye.”

“Did you know that Buffalo was nicknamed the City of Light for the 1901 World’s Fair?” Aden asked as crawled into the passenger seat. “President McKinley was shot there.  Took him eight days to die. Even with fairly primitive medical tools and comparatively limited knowledge, that’s a long time.”

“God, you sound more like Clarke everyday with your useless historical facts,” Lexa said.

Aden smiled at the comparison, “I thought it was fitting for today. You’re still doing it, right?”

“Yep,” Lexa answered with a curt nod, pulling away from the curb and onto the street.

Aden looked her over carefully. “What’s wrong? You should be happy.”

“Nothing,” Lexa said, shooting a glance his way. “I am happy.”

“You don’t look it. Are you freaking out?” he asked. “I think I would be freaking out.”

“No.”

“You are.”

“Fine,” Lexa huffed. “Yeah, I am. A tiny little bit freaked.”

“It’s okay, Lex,” Aden put his hand on her shoulder. “There’s no way Clarke is turning you down. She’s crazy about you.”

“Logically, I know that.”

“Even if she’s faking it, I  _ know _ she loves me,” Aden said as seriously as he could. “She would never leave me.”

Lexa punched him in the thigh.

“Even if she did say no, which she won’t,” Aden let his hand drop. “What’s the worst that would happen?”

“I guess I could die from the intense pain of a broken heart?” Lexa suggested.

“Can’t die from that, Sis,” he said. “You can die from a car crash.”

Lexa nodded. “Yep, you can.”

“You can die from being shot, stabbed, burned alive, you could jump off a cliff...”

“I get it, A.”

“...you could be poisoned, you could hang, be attacked by a wild animal...”

“You made your point.”

“...you could be crucified, choke on a chip, or be decapitated,” Aden shuddered at the last one. “But, you’re probably not going to die of a broken heart.  And Clarke, for sure, isn’t going to be the one to break it.”

“Thanks for the pep talk.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Clarke is my sister. And you’re my sister. My sisters are getting married. It’s great.”

Lexa’s lip turned up, “Please don’t describe it like that to others.”

“I’ve told six people already just to see their reactions.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Clarke pulled into the parking lot just a little too fast and hit the brakes on the Prius, sliding just a bit on the gravel.  She put it in park and grabbed the sack that was riding alongside her.  When she got to the door and pulled it back she was surprised to find Anya standing there, slipping her phone into her pocket.

“Oh, sorry,” Clarke said, trying to scoot by her anyway. “Excuse me.”

“Hey!” Anya was much too excited to see her. “Clarke, you’re here.”

“Ye-ah,” she said, taking a cautious step back. “I’m here.”

“You brought the food,” Anya said, making a grab for it.

Clarke held it just out of reach. “I did.”

Anya gestured to the bag. “I’ll take it.”

“I got it, Anya.”

“I’ll take it,” Anya said again. “So...you don’t have to.”

Clarke held it out slowly, “Okay.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked. While her and Anya had made peace with each other years before, they certainly didn’t do favors for the other.  “You seem...off.”

“Off how?”

“You’re being weird.”

With a ding on her phone, Anya gave it up and stepped out of the doorway, “Unclench, Griffin. Just trying to be nice. I was on my way back out there, so I’ll take the food.”

“Sure,” Clarke held her hands up in surrender. “Is Lexa out there?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked. “She said she had some stuff to do on the farm.”

“She may have stopped into her office earlier,” Anya said. “But, I haven’t seen her out there.”

“Oh.”

“You stay here,” Anya hooked her thumb over her shoulder. “And I’ll take this.”

Clarke watched her go and wondered if she had gotten knocked in the head by a tree limb. That tended to happen around the farm.  People got wacked by trees a lot.  She hoped that Anya’s head injury wasn’t too serious as she made her way back to Lexa’s office.

It was empty, of course.

She shot off a quick text and settled into the ridiculous throne chair.  She figured Lexa would probably be back soon. Surely a few errands wouldn’t take all day.  And since she was here, there was no harm in straightening Lexa’s desk as she waited.  She stacked all of the loose papers scattered in a stack, tapping their ends on the surface.  Then, she noticed a legal pad on the edge and aww’d at the fact that Lexa had written Clarke’s name in a heart in the margins of the top page.  Damn, her girlfriend was adorable. She pulled open the top drawer to find a pen and drew a quick sketch of the two of them holding hands.  When she went to put the pen back, she noticed bold white lettering spelling out Wallace and Son Demolition.  She turned it just a bit to see a scrawling cursive slogan.  _ We’re the bomb! _  “Clever,” she said aloud as she dropped the pen back in the drawer and shut it.

She checked her phone.  Still nothing.  Clarke dialed Lexa’s number, groaning when she got her voicemail again. “Baby, honey, it’s me. Your girlfriend. The love of your life. You know, the girl who does that thing you really, really like. I’ll do it tonight if you call me back. I miss you. I’m bored. I love you. Call me.”

She hung up and put her phone down next to a picture situated on the left of Lexa and Aden.  He was still a baby, so she was probably no older than nine.  Clarke briefly wondered if that picture had been sitting in that spot since it has belonged to Mr. Beckett.  Her eyes flittered over to a picture that had definitely not.  That one was of Clarke and Lexa.  It has been taken last summer on a beach in South Carolina.  Clarke was wrapped up in Lexa’s arms as Lexa kissed her cheek.  It had been their very first vacation alone and they had made the the most of every second. They looked incredibly happy.  They were incredibly happy. “Damn,” she said to herself when she realized how much boobage was on display in that picture. “Those  _ are _ nice.”

She glanced up when she heard the clack of footsteps, but lowered her head when she realized it was Indra.  Indra passed the open doorway and then doubled back.

“What are you doing here?” she asked Clarke, tone somewhat accusatory.

“Uh...I kinda live here,” Clarke answered.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” Indra said.

Clarke sat up, “Why not?

Indra balked, “I, uh, thought you had class today.”

“We’re on a break,” Clarke said.

“Oh,” Indra nodded. She already knew that.  She also knew that Lexa, Aden, and the entire crew was across the farm hanging a bazillion lights throughout the backlot for a proposal that was not to be spoiled. “I see.”

“Do you happen to know where Lexa might be?” Clarke asked.

“I do not,” Indra said. “Don’t think she’s here. I haven’t seen her. She’s probably not at the house. Don’t bother going to the warehouse, there’s no reason she’d be there.”

“Well she’s not answering calls or texts.”

“She must be very busy then,” Indra remarked.

Clarke’s phone rang, she brightened for a second.  When she realized it was Raven, she slumped in the throne chair.

“Hey Rae,” she answered.  “You’re here?...I’m going to try to find Lex-...oh, okay...alright, damn, tell her to hold her preggo horses, I’m on my way.”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  
“Octavia reported that she’s in the car with Raven and headed toward our house,” Lincoln told Lexa as he situated a ladder next to hers. “Everything is fine.”

Lexa was relieved at the news. “Good.”

He could almost see the weight leaving her shoulders. “Are you ready for this?”

“Linc, I’ve been ready for this since the day I met her,” she replied as she connected one strand to another. “I hope these all work.”

“They will work, we’ll make sure of it,” Lincoln said. “You know, I remember that day when we were cleaning up the debris. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of her.”

“You saw that?”

“I did,” he nodded. “Don’t know if she did yet.”

Lexa shrugged, “I was hooked from the start.”

“You were, Lexa,” Lincoln said as tossed his roll of lights into the next tree. “I think you both were.”

  
  


 

* * *

  
  
  
  


Clarke held a tiny pair of shoes up, “O, these are so cute. I can’t believe you’re going to be a mom in a few weeks.”

“I can’t believe you are ditching politics,” Raven said, still processing the information that Clarke had shared earlier.

“Just feels right,” Clarke told them. “And might be a little of Lexa’s influence.”

“Environmental law,” Octavia nodded. “Definitely not the Governor of Virginia. What is your mom saying about this change?”

“She’s fine with it,” Clarke said. “She’s much less overbearing about my career choices these days.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“And she loves Lexa, so really she’s got nothing to complain about,” Clarke said. “Well, except her own love life.”

“I heard,” Raven mentioned.

“You heard?” Octavia asked. “Why didn’t I hear?”

“Because Abby and I are gal pals,” Raven said proudly. “And Marcus is in Upstate New York.”

“Why is Marcus in New York?”

“Upstate!” Raven added. “Schenectady.”

Clarke sighed, “Their relationship has been strained since he took that role as Jesus in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.”

Octavia thought it over, “Jesus isn’t in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.”

“And you see now,” Raven said vaguely. “They’re done. Kaput. Enter: Raven.”

“Rae!” Clarke yelled. “I know you’ve been sitting on the sidelines waiting to get in, but it’s not going to happen with my mom.”

“It will,” Raven said. “Just wait.”

“Have you decided on a name yet?” Clarke asked Octavia to change the subject.

“Aurora,” Octavia answered. “After  _ my _ mom.”

“That’s sweet,” Clarke said.

“And what about a middle name?” Raven asked.

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“Might I suggest something timeless and bird-like?” Raven put the idea out there.

“Like Skylark!” Clarke said with a clap.

“No, you fucker, like Raven.”

“Don’t say fucker in front of the baby,” Octavia warned her.

Raven was offended, “You just did.”

“I can, I’m the mom.”

“Oh my god!” Clarke held up a onesie she found in the stack. It was obviously from the farm and had TREE CREW in tiny letters. “I didn’t know she did this.”

“Oh yeah,” Octavia smiled. “She gave that to Lincoln a few days after he told her.”

Clarke held her hand over her heart. “I love her, she’s so sweet.”

“Isn’t she though,” Raven said, overdoing the pleasantness and fluttering her lashes.

Clarke sent her a warning glare. "Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

“I’m kidding,” Raven backtracked. “Lexa is pretty great.”

“She is,” Octavia added.

“Yeah.” Clarke checked her phone for word from the woman in question. “I’m starting to worry about her.”

“Why?” Raven asked, fidgeting a bit.

“She hasn’t called me back all day,” Clarke said, hitting the button to call Lexa’s phone again.

Octavia checked her own for the time and subtly shook her head at Raven.

“Hey, Clarke,” Raven distracted her. “Look at the tiny socks. They’re so pink.”

Clarke took them while leaving another message. “Alexandria Beckett, where are you? I’m looking at tiny pink socks, you should come up here and hang out with us. I love you. Call. me. back.”

“She’s working,” Octavia said. “Lincoln’s still out there, too.”

“Yeah,” Clarke acknowledged. “But maybe you should take me home. I’ve got a weird feeling.”

“Okay,” Octavia said, struggling to maneuver out of her chair. “But can you vacuum the nursery for me?”

“I’ve done it three times,” Clarke said.

“I’m nesting, Clarke!”

“Okay!”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

“You’re going to call me as soon as you go into labor, right? Not that I won’t see you before. Just in case.  Have Linc call me, okay?” Clarke asked of Octavia as they slowly drove up the path on the way to the house. Raven and O were both uncharacteristically quiet, but Clarke wasn’t thinking much of it.  She was ready to get home to Lexa and it was late.  Darkness had settled over the farm and by this time, nothing could be seen out here.  

They had just gotten beyond the tree line when Raven stopped the car. She turned in the seat, only illuminated by the stereo inside her car.  

“I love ya, Clarke,” she said. “But, you have to get out.”

As she said the last word, the entire back side of the tree farm lit up in a twinkling display.

“What the fuck?” Clarke asked, looking all around the car for a sign of what was happening.

Octavia really couldn’t turn in her seat, so she just put her hand up over the back of it. “Clarke?”  

“Yeah?” Clarke saw her hand and grabbed it, getting a fluttering in her stomach even before she knew what was about to happen.

“Lexa’s waiting on you.”

“Go on, Clarke!” Raven practically screamed.

“Okay,” Clarke said as scooted out and found a path of lanterns that stretched out for what seemed like a hundred feet. At the end was Lexa, waiting for under under an archway of lights.

Clarke looked back to where Raven had hefted O out of the car and they both urged her forward.

“Goooo,” Raven called to her.

"Okay," Clarke said, willing her feet to propel her.

“Hi,” came a voice out of the trees.

She was startled for a second before she realized who it was. “Aden?”

“We figured you might need some help to get from here to there,” he pointed to his sister.  “It’s my job to make sure you do.”  

Aden held his arm so she could take it. As she slipped her arm inside his, she suddenly realized how much he had grown up.  He was taller than her now.  He had the tiniest patch of hair on his chin that he refused to shave off and she never failed to give him shit for it.  He was becoming a young man and she was so thankful to be in his life.

After a few steps, she asked, “A, is this what I think it is?”

“Yeah,” he replied simply.

Clarke breathed out slowly as they made their way up the path and he heard her sniffle.

“She’s really nervous,” Aden told her. “So go easy on her.”

Clarke’s hands were shaking as the tears flowed down her face, “Me, too, buddy.”

“She’s probably going to say a lot of mushy stuff up there and all of it will be true,” Aden’s voice cracked and Clarke looked up in time to see him use his shirtsleeve to swipe at his eye. “But I want you to know that I love you, too.  So when you say yes, it won’t just make her happy.  It’s going to make me really happy, too.”

She clung tighter to him. “I love both of you so much. You’re my people.”

He stopped walking just before he got to Lexa and turned to her. “And you’re ours.”

“I told you once that you’d know it when I proposed,” was the first thing Lexa said when Clarke got close.

Clarke was such a mess, she couldn’t even laugh at the joke. She just walked right into Lexa and threw her arms around her neck.

Lexa hugged her back, just enjoying the moment.  She soaked it in, knowing there was never any reason to be anxious.  The two of them were meant to be.  “I built you a City of Lights,” she said in Clarke’s ear. “You like?”

“I love,” Clarke choked out a response, her body shaking in sobs.

“I wondered if it was a little too much,” Lexa said after Clarke stilled.

Clarke pulled back and smiled at her. “It’s very you.”

Lexa looked up at the arch. “I really wanted candles...”

“I figured.”

“So,” Lexa laced their fingers together. “I have a question for you.”

Clarke bit her lip in anticipation.

“But, first, I wanted to tell you a couple of things, if that’s okay.”

Clarke nodded emphatically.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Clarke said back, pulling her close to place a quick kiss on her lips.

“I know you do. And you love Aden and always understood that he had to be apart of this. You gave us a family again and you’ll never know how much that means to us.”

The sobbing started again, so Lexa wiped the tears away with her thumb.

“Don’t cry,” she said. “That’s a good thing.”

“I know,” Clarke replied, chuckling.

“You gave me someone to lean on, Clarke.  I felt so alone before you.  And you brought all your energy, and color, and  _ life _ into mine unapologetically.  You’re like a fire that can’t be put out-”

“You had to go there?” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Yeah,” Lexa grinned. “And you make me laugh. I didn’t do that much before we met.”

“Your laugh is beautiful,” Clarke said softly.

“Cla-rke,” Lexa winced at the emotion that hit her. “Don’t.”

“What?”

“You’re going to make me cry,” she said, ducking away.  “I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry.”

Clarke put her hand under her chin, so she could look her in the eye. “You are beautiful. And incredible.  And strong in every way possible and goddamn, you’re the sexiest person I’ve ever seen.”

“Really?” Lexa’s tongue slipped through her lips.

“Yes.” Clarke said, her hand finding its way into Lexa’s hair. “And selfless, and loving, and steady.  You gave me a home and a safe place.  And you always, always make every day better just by being beside me.”

“I never want to be anywhere else,” Lexa said as she dropped to one knee.  She pulled the ring out of her pocket and held it between her fingers. “Clarke, will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” Clarke said, accepting the ring as Lexa slid it on her finger.

“She said yes!” Clarke heard Aden yell.

That must have been the signal, because spotlights lit the place up like daylight and a cheer erupted from the hill behind the backlot.

“What did you do?” Clarke asked.

“Engagement party,” Lexa answered. “Slash Monty’s birthday.”

Clarke ran the date through her head quickly, “Oh my god.”

“It’s been three years.”

Clarke looked out across the crowd heading toward them, filtering through the faces. “You did invite Monty, didn’t you?”

  
  


* * *

 

 

Four hours later, the party was winding down.  Aden had been sent home with Gus and the people had dwindled to just stragglers.

“I can believe these two managed to keep it a secret all this time,” Lincoln said of his wife and Raven.

“Excuse me!” Raven said, “I’m excellent at secrets.”

“So am I,” Clarke slurred as she hugged Lexa close.

“You’re drunk is what you are,” Lexa teased, kissing her forehead.

“Maybe a little bit,” Clarke shrugged and held her drink high. “It’s a celebration. We’re gonna get married, Lex.”

“How did I get so lucky?” Lexa asked, all heart-eyed at how cute a tipsy Clarke was.

“Aww, baby,” Clarke shamelessly licked her neck. “I love, love, love you."

“You’re going to have your hands full with that later,” Octavia said to Lexa.

“I’m going to do the thing,” Clarke said proudly.

“You’re more than welcome to do the thing,” Lexa said. “But you’re probably going to pass out.”

“Don’t even want to know,” Raven grimaced at them.

“I’m engaged,” Clarke told her needlessly, holding out her hand to show off her ring.

“I know!” Raven indulged her, eyes wide. “It’s a wonder, huh?”

“It’s gorgeous!” Abby took Clarke’s hand as she approached. She studied the ring for at least the fourth time. “I’m dropping your father off at the hotel and going home.”

“K.”

“Congratulations,” Abby said as she gave each of them a hug. “You make a beautiful couple.”

“Thanks Mom,” Clarke said to Abby before slipping away from Lexa. “Rae has a sick crush on you, but I don’t even care anymore ‘cause I’m getting mar-reeed!”

“What?” Abby asked, looking at Raven. “Did she just say-

“I have no idea what she’s talking about Mrs. Griffin,” Raven said as innocently as a toddler.  “She’s had a lot to drink and sometimes Clarke lies.”

“...”

“Have a nice night,” Raven shouted as Abby backed away.

“On that note, we’re gonna go,” Octavia said, holding her hand out for Lincoln. “I refuse to have my baby in the forest.”

“We still have a few weeks,” Lincoln reminded her.

“Maybe.”

“Thanks guys!” Lexa said to them as they shuffled away. “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You’re one of us now,” Octavia called. “Congrats.”

“Well, that was horrifying,” Raven sulked. “I’m probably going to kill your fiancee.”

“Where  _ is _ my fiancee?” Lexa asked, checking all around her.

“She’s over there by the backlot,” Raven pointed. “With...Harper?”

Lexa took a step toward them, squinting to get a better look, “Raven, what does she have?”

“Uh...oh fuck,” Raven said, breaking into a jog. “She’s got sparklers!”

Boom. Out.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading.


End file.
